Just burn in hell please..

I have never been this pissed for a long time..

I thought that time when they called me back to do exercise, but i slept in bunk the whole day, i thought that would be the most du lan experience already, but i guess army will always prove me wrong..

You bunch of inconsiderate, no common sense, ham ji kias.. If i was someone who wouldnt fight back, i would have been eaten alive, literally.. But no, one more time of this shit, i swear you all will feel the fury of a white horse.. Call my LTC uncle to come down on you all.. Pieces of shit..

I was so close to call my uncle for some backing.. THIS CLOSE, i swear..

Coldplay..

Isnt Coldplay just awesome.. I am so caught up with Life in Technicolor II.. Damn.. They just make songs sound so damn good.. And the voice, wa, power..

Summary..

I've been blogging all my main points that i always forgot those small details during the week that i wished to share.. And when i remember to blog like now, i forgot the details.. Damn..

Let me recap..

I learnt how to play Mahjong alittle more in depth when i was at my batery chalet.. It is really very addictive.. I love to play again.. So am looking for mahjong people to play, but w/o money please.. i'm not a fan of losing money due to gambling.. Cos i feel my "luck" in gambling CMI..
I was practically playing the whole time i was at the chalet..

I can feel the movie fever coming in already as i have watched 3 movies in 3 weeks.. First Angels and Demons, next was Wolverine and lastly Night at the Museum 2.. Angels and Demons was good, but it's up to a person's liking if it was better than Da Vinci.. Cos people who like action alot would love it, but those who like puzzle solving more, would love Da Vinci.. Wolverine was cool, unfortunately, the story wasnt the same as comic books.. Night at the Museum was okay.. Not a fan of the series, but i watch it for some cheap humour n entertainment.. It's not really LOL kind thou.. Personally i would have download to watch, but in the end i paid for the company of friends more than the worthwhile of the movie..

And Sims 3 is out.. Im not really sure why.. But my combinations of games that i play is rather weird.. I can play sports games like Winning Eleven and Football Manager, to shooter games like Left 4 Dead and Crysis to gay games like Sims 3.. LOL.. Weird!

I'm not sure why i blog out these small details also.. WTH..

Anw, yesterday finally went to try out 18chefs.. It had been ages since i suggested going there to eat to my group of friends but unfortunately we cant really break out of the Simpang trend.. True enough, i ate it yst for the fact that i din eat wif the usual gang, but instead with Sy, Eel and Irene.. If the usual were to eat, i supposed it wld have been simpang w/o a doubt..

18 chefs is really affordable if you still own a tertiary student ez link.. Cos their student meals are really worth it.. You can so called create your own pasta or baked rice.. Student meals are at tops 9 bucks which is very cheap for their portion plus a drink and ice cream.. And i would really love to see how their Cheesy chicken wings are like or the Garlicky something something Mussels and Fries..

Actually, bascially i was pang seh-ed by Hp n Van.. Matt n amos n Chit yong went to club at zouk for above and beyond.. When i asked Van if i can join them for dinner, the initial answer was yes, then followed by a very unclear no by hp.. It was very confusing with a word answer of no to my qn.. You see i msg hp first to ask him, but he din reply so i msged van.. Van couldnt confirm initially but after a lil pressing, she said okay.. Then suddenly hp replied no.. So was there some kind of misunderstanding of answers between van n hp or was he telling me the new answer is no.. So i just took it as the latter one and managed to go out wif sy n gang..

I said something rather tactless, when i picked up jx call, he asked me why i with them, and i said no choice.. LOL.. Wth.. Sorry ladies, i swear it din come out the right way.. Cos the company you gave me was great..

And incredibly, i am injured again.. Now walk also have a lil difficulty.. Really apa link.. Kan sian.. In de end, gave the sunday match a missed.. Hope it recovers soon..

Mid Life Crisis.. Apa Link??!?

Does anyone have a mid life crisis at 22 yrs old?? I think i do..

Suddenly i feel that i dont know what i want in my life anymore.. There's no clear direction of where to go or what to do.. I guess it was there all along but army has helped it to fade in the shadows.. Now i'm nearing ORD.. Reality will hit me sooner that i can say "argh!"..

I gotta find somebody or something to die for.. Okay, i'm exaggerating of course.. I always say i need someone to be there for me, etc, but fuck that, cos i really dunno what i want anymore.. If it comes, it comes, it's up to me to grab it, if it doesnt, suck thumb..

I realised that to live life, is to live in the present.. I wanna live life now.. I dont wanna worry about the future anymore.. Cos i wanna believe that my future is in God's hands.. I wanna be happy now.. I wanna appreciate the people that i have around me, and not wish that i had a certain someone there for me..

If i ever slump back to the pity party, i hope someone shakes me up real well to wake up my idea.. I never wanna be there again, i am gonna be optimistic..

ORD.. ORD.. ORD, ORD, ORD.....

On another issue..

I got to admit, when i received your msg last week, something stirred up my heart.. And when i looked back, i realised i was a fool.. I always let my emotions take over me, always.. I guess i always judge the faults of others too quickly, but rarely take a step back to look at my ownself..

I dunno how to approach you to make amends or clear the air.. I really dont.. Maybe it's a fear of rejection or maybe it's just me.. Maybe when my mind is clearer, i would know what to do..

For NOTHING!

If amos weekend was fucked up, then i cant find the words to describe mine..

First i booked in Sat night, 7pm.. Had a life vest drill to attend to as the exercise involved the river and a briefing after that.. Then it was lights out at 10..

Next day woke up at 5am to draw weapon, change, get ready, etc.. 6am breakfast.. and in the end i only moved off at around 8plus am.. Whole 2 hrs did almost nothing except a first parade..

When we got there, sat around in the open field, then got chased away by my officer to sit in the bushes to be "hidden".. Discussed with my officer to go back camp as we din have enough space on the tunnel to sleep and we were doing nothing the whole day also.. He agreed and let us come back the next day..

You might think why so slack.. Imagine the significance of our presence.. Firstly the exercise is mostly armour units.. We as arty are there to support.. The armour units have been there for prob like a week while we only there for 2days.. We are playing a really small part.. And in this small part that we play, i am not in the main crew to cross the river.. I am so called the sai kang man cos i dun have a role in the exercise.. My actual role is handling ammo, but there isnt any firing, thus no role.. So i am so called the small part of the small part of the small part of the exercise which really means, if i aint there, it doesnt make a bloody fucking difference..

But no, army wanna punk you.. Wanna torture your life, just for the sake of it.. No reason for doing so, even if there is, it isnt even good enough to be called a reason, it's just an excuse.. And in actual fact, there were exactly 15 who did not have a role.. They wanted to squeeze us all to sleep inside 1 tunnel.. 1 TUNNEL!!! WTH!! I know that they probably want us to experience river crossing, but 15 sleep one tunnel?? WTH.. HOW TO!!

So of cos we fight for our rights.. A decent sleeping place, in bunk.. Anyway, we deploy on sun, but only crossing on mon.. WTH right.. Talk about being efficient.. So we became tough to handle, never really listen to instructions.. Ask us to sit in the bush, we sit at the outline of it.. Then all the big ranks start to move in and out.. So, all these persuaded my officer to let us go back bunk.. haha.. Nice right..

By 1pm, i was back in bunk.. And whole day rest in camp..

And that night, we received a so called "greater" news.. We din even have to go back for the exercise.. Sleep in bunk again.. All 15 of us just slack in bunk, while the rest cross the river.. The reason was that they were changing deployment grounds in the morning, no time to pick us.. Whatever.. So i din know to be happy or sad really, cos on one hand, no need go exercise, slack in bunk sumore.. On the other, WHY THE FUCK I BOOK IN ON SAT FOR WHAT!!! JUST TO SLACK IN BUNK!!! KNN!!

Btw, my camp mates literally waited 24hrs before crossing the river.. 24 hrs!! wth..

So amos, you tell me la.. Who more pek chek.. Who more sian.. At least you suppose to stay till 12am, still can book out.. In de end sumore you went back 3plus pm.. I whole time in camp on sun and mon, doing NOTHING, and not even allowed to go nights out.. Dun even mention book out.. and you tot how much worse could it get.. It became worse when everyone booked out on mon night after the exercise, while i the only idiot stay in camp and do guard duty.. KAN SIAN!

Just now, when i called jx to ask him join us for dinner, he still asked me in typical fashion, "eh how come u like every week off ah??", WA!! if he infront of me, i would have maybe give him a purnch on his farce..

I really cannot comprehand how our army boast about being a efficent or effective force when i see this kind of things happening..

They made me miss the crowning of Manchester United champions.. CHAMPIONS!!! CHAMPIONS!! OLE OLE OLE!!

They made me miss my match against BBG.. Or even the chance to play wif my cousin team at tiong bahru..

Hiaz... At what sacrifice...

Down Pes..

This week happening siol..

Let me start with the medical review.. Went to MMI on wed morning to see the specialist.. I cant explain this but i was nervous.. I know it was a make or break situation for me.. The thing is that i needed to PES down.. Or get a long term status.. Anything else other than that would be terrible news to me..

You see, army likes to play the role of the barstard.. They love to be the bad guy.. You know every time bad guys like to say " if you do not do this, you will suffer the consequences".. They are like the bully who pushes you to a corner and ask you to surrender your lunch money or suffer a beating.. That's really how they work..

Like my current situation now.. My battery is urging us to clear our off and leave as we will accumulate more offs when we take part in NDP this year.. So they are afraid we cannot clear.. So a logical choice of off clearing would be on a Mon or Fri.. Cos long weekend.. No one would take on Tue and Thurs for e.g.. Cos you have to book in book out.. Which is purely stupid..

But the thing about soldiers is, you must be fit.. You must clear IPPT and SOC.. So right now, Mons, Weds and Fris are training days for the test.. So if you take off on mon and fri, you would skip training, which is a good thing.. But no, army dun want to let you have it your way.. MUST insist you.. Haven clear IPPT and SOC and want to take off on mon or fri sumore?? Nvm.. CAN!! You come for training then go for off.. Plus we wont compensate your time you come back for training.. SWEE??

Let me give an e.g of how it will turn out.. For e.g i take off on mon.. Means i still must book in on sunday night.. Mon morning go for prob 1.5 hrs of training.. Book out straight after that, which is prob around 9plus.. Then if i wanna go home, take a 2hrs trip back.. And in the evening, make another 2 hrs trip back to camp to book in.. SMLJ!!! From a 24hr off, it became a 9 hr off instead, minus the time you in camp sleeping, training time and travelling time.. Who the hell want to clear off liddat you tell me?? Really SMLJ..

So my choice is simple, clear IPPT, SOC or down PES.. And now 2nd year soldier liao.. ORD coming, where got mood go train.. Of cos take the easy way out.. Down PES..

As i was taking my temperature before entering the building, i didnt know i was trembling already.. When i wrote down my particulars, i could feel my hands trembling.. I tot it was just nothing.. But as i was waiting for my turn, CMI.. Can feel my heart beating so hard that my body trembles from the beating.. And my hands are trembling as well.. My palms were sweaty.. Haha.. I was really like WTH.. Why liddat..

When it was my turn, can really feel the nerves already.. Make or break.. The doc asked me if my leg still pain?? I keng-ed and said, yea, still pain.. He told me he went through my report, and there was a stress injury at my foot, not a fracture fortunately.. And it would recover eventually.. Not the best of news for my ears.. But as he told me not to run, jog already, instead go swimming n cycling instead, he wrote down these 4 precious alphanumericals.. C9L2.. WOOO!!! Down PES!! KAN SONG!!

I am now the envy of my battery.. It's not easy to get and plus i get at the best timing possible.. Going to ORD, hope they wont post me out.. WOO!!

I'm Losing Touch

Let me just conclude the whole of last week, FROM HELL..

I was sick the moment i booked into camp.. After having like a holiday period of leaves/off, i fell sick.. Maybe my body is asking for ORD immediately already.. haha

Sucks when the whole week, i felt totally weak and tired easily.. Just felt like shit the whole time.. And one night, i had trouble sleeping.. I slept at 9pm as i was just totally weak n tired, then i woke up at 2am plus, then 3am plus, then ultimately at 545am.. Each time i fell back to sleep, i was having weird dreams.. Like no link kind..

First was about my ex.. I din really wanna dream that dream, but i cant control also.. If im awake, i still can control my thoughts, but dreams, how?? The funny part was i and her were in a cab, den we saw her mum, when she saw us inside the cab, she waved hi, but the cab bang her.. Not like viciously, but just enough to make her fall, then it drove away.. LOL.. I remember waking up telling myself, that was quite funny.. LOL..

2nd was about, i not too sure already.. But i vaguely remember Hp was inside.. But forgot what issit about.. I remember it had something to do with friends..

Anyway, the whole week was summed up with a guard duty on friday.. KAN SIAN.. The worst thing was, i couldnt sleep, i only slept for 1.5hrs.. I kept tossing n turning when it was my rest time.. Still cannot after like 2 hrs.. Then i gave up..

By the time i reached home on sat, KAN SHAG! I was serving on sat, and my call time was 130pm.. By the time i reached home, it was already 10plus.. So i tot just take a power nap then go down.. The most i tot wake up 130pm.. I never reach on time for ministry anyway, cos their call time really no link.. They expect us to be there at 130pm to practise with the singers.. After about max 40mins of practise, the singers will leave for JW service.. And from 2plus till 530 when service start, we are almost practically doing nothing.. Apa link..

Last time when i joined it wasnt like this, the most only come like 2hrs before service start, but now is getting ridiculous.. Which will lead me to my next point after this.. So in de end i woke up at 4pm!! WTH.. Too shag liao.. Serious case.. Called to explain why i was late..Den made my way down..

So my next point is, i took a break from my ministry.. Cos i really cannot stand already.. I know my leader very understanding, everytime i never reach on time for call time.. But i feel no point la.. I dun wanna set a bad eg and other people start following me and not reach on time.. In army terms, i would probably be the guy wif eye power on the team while everyone else is working hard.. I dun like that also.. And really, if im not happy serving, then i really dont see a point anymore..

Maybe it's a question of commitment.. The arguement would be that it's only every two weeks, come early one time.. But i dun see a point in doing it anymore.. Maybe next time if i ever on fire again.. MAYBE.. haha

So what else has my sickness cost me?? A weekend full of soccer activities.. Initially hj asked if i could play on fri, i wanted to, but i was sick, so i turned down.. Sat was another chance to play, but i had guard duty, but even if i din have, i wouldnt go also.. Then Sun, my cousin asked me since the previous week to play, in de end i also din go cos sick.. KAN SIAN..

This week, MC on monday.. WOO!! Then this week is my battery retreat.. Like an outing liddat.. It is from Wed afternoon to friday morning.. A chalet.. But for the men, they only need to go down on thursday.. The rest is commander's time.. By right, wed afternoon book out.. But i got medical review in the morning.. So after that straight away zhao liao!! SONG!! Wed off, thursday go chalet, at night come back cos i dun intend on staying there.. Then friday off.. BUT!!! Before you people come to me again n say "STAY IN LIKE NO STAY IN LIDDAT!", i Sat evening book in... Got local exercise, from Sunday till Mon..

It comes with a price.. AND, when my whole battery goes for off on tuesday, i will be the only idiot doing guard duty on tat day.. Then only can book out on friday.. See.. The price is heavy also.. That sums up my week..

And i need to start exercising.. Ever since this sickness, cannot start.. Now fat like boomer liao.. LOL.. CMI..

Underdogs..

Yesterdays soccer was like a wake up call for our team.. We've been missing out the times of simei.. Those were the times where we are underdogs, the times where we push ourselves to match our opponents, the times where our team's potential is shown..

I always believed that our team will only play it's best when we are underdogs.. I always feel when we play on sat, my team has this mentality that they are the best there and thus, deserve to win.. But we all know in soccer, if you have this mentality, it will come back and haunt you.. Cos the ball is round, nothing is certain in soccer.. Even if Man Utd vs Singapore, Man Utd will not win 100% all the time.. Maybe out of 1million tries, Singapore would win once.. Okay, i know it's alittle too far fetched..

Maybe like Man Utd vs Leeds United.. Leeds i believe is 2 divisions lower than Man United.. But maybe out of 10 attempts, Leeds was able to contain Man Utd once.. Okay, as long as you get the picture..

And when you think later, why would a better team lose to a lousier team, the answer is complacency.. When you know you are the better team, you tend to stop doing the small little things.. For e.g, if you were challenging a team of equal status, passes would be alittle faster cos you know they close down fast.. But if you take on a lousier team, suddenly, the passes are slower, you tend to dribble n hold on the ball more when normally you wouldnt..

It's this little small things that really determine a game.. Like if you're alittle more skilled, you know you go past the player but what you missed out could be a passed that had let to a goal, maybe a one-two was a better solution, maybe another player was in a better position, even thou you could go past your opponent.. It's all these, could have been factors..

So, when my team plays a stronger opponent, the passing is faster, movement better, helping out in defence is more than sufficient.. Suddenly we become a team.. Cos we know that this team can be beaten even thou it is stronger, and we like to prove the stronger team wrong.. Maybe we gotta work on our finishing, but when i play on sat, i dont have that "team" feeling.. I have that complacency feeling when we play..

That was why i was urging them to play yesterday against my bro's team.. Cos my bro's team has a very strong foundation.. They started since St Hilda's had a soccer team then.. They were the last batch of that certain CCA in our school.. They went out to form a team, playing regularly weekly and ultimately joining a prime league of ESPZEN.. They climbed from i believe, Group 7 to Group 1.. Think of Group 1 as the EPL, then as the group number is bigger, the standard is lousier.. Ever since they joined the league, they managed to promote every season.. A very powerful record if you ask me..

So, yesterday, i struggled to form a team, but was still desperate to go play.. Initally only me hj n hp decided to play... Quite predictable cos we have been playing soccer together since forever.. Besides Matt Lim, we are like the core members of a 5 a side team.. The last of the 5 a side team was always changing.. First it was Xing Jin, then i believed Nicky or Jx, or Matt, and it was only later that Terence became the last fixed 5.. But he also couldnt make it cos he had something on, which i think had something to do with girls.. LOL..

Then Lucas n Leslie gave me crap excuses for not playing.. Lucas said it was too late.. My reply to him was that whenever we play cage it was always that late.. Last time we wld play cage from 12 or 1 till 2 to 3.. Then he himself wld still go macdonalds to eat after that, still can tell me too late.. Then he came up with another excuse, going out the nxt day.. I ask him what time, he said at nite.. KNN trying to be funny sia.. In de end when he no more excuses, he came..

As for les, he told me he got something on.. But when i told him almost all of us that are playing on sat are playing on fri instead and that no one is playing on sat already, he caved in as well.. WTH!!

So we finally had a team..

Every match we played against my bro team was always long even thou it's a one goal knock out style.. Cos we stood our ground, defended well, and always looking to counter.. Initially, some of us were impatient with their tactics.. Cos they would hold the ball for a long time then "BAM!" they would attack.. And leslie lost his temper abit, but after awhile, we adapted to their game.. Just hold your ground n dont commit.. I never believed our team was good in pressing.. I always think we play very well if we dont commit, let them make their mistakes and we capitalised on them..

But we suddenly changed our style since dunno when to a pressing kinda side.. As long as we dont have the ball, we try to harrass the opponent, and they are more than willing to let us fall into their trap by passing the ball around and making us more impatient and then strike when we commit too many players..

But yesterday was much better, we were in the game so long becos almost all the time we never commit and counter alot.. If not for some brilliant goalkeeping, we would have been up by alot..

It was truly a game worth playing, and i think all of us miss that feeling of underdogs.. After the match, we went down to Mac for some late night supper, with the exception of hp, everyone was buzzing about how well we played n stuff..

We need more of these!!!

I cant believed how much i've typed.. It just flows out whenever it is about soccer.. Im just a fanatic.. If you have read until here, i salute you if you're not a soccer fanatic.. Even if you are, also salute, cos it has nothing to do with you either, it's all about me n my team in this post.. HAHA!!