The hectic life is gonna start tonight.. Not really "officially".. Cos the night job does start tml, but my day job will only start on Thurs..
Yes, i took on 2 jobs at the same time.. One day and one night job.. The day job starts at 8am-5pm, and the night job starts at 1am-5am.. Both jobs are from Mon-Fri only, thankfully.. If u read it carefully, you can notice that my sleeping hrs are basically aft day job to start of night job.. The best case scenario for me is 6pm reach home STRAIGHT AWAY sleep till 12am probably.. But we all know no one's world is ever perfect, so i probably have like 5 hrs of sleep everyday..
Some may question the stability of my mind right now, maybe staying home too long short circuit my brain somewhere.. But no, it was more of a case of bad timing and me wanting to experiment on the limits of my body..
You see, while waiting for the interview for the day job, i had another job offer from my aunt to do a night job for her company.. The day job company was taking their time to offer me a place.. So i took up the night job.. Nvr did i know, the night job wld actually start one month later.. And by then, the day job company, interview me, and offered me a contract..
So why not just reject my aunt?? Cos she said very hard to find ppl to replace, cos airport pass have to go thru time wasting procedure, which is true.. Then why not reject the day job?? Cos the job wif my aunt only last for 6 weeks, while the day job offered me 3 months..
At that time i was thinking, why not take both, anyway, it wld probably give me a preview of how my life will be when i start studying part time and working full time.. So yea, this is the situation now..
Will i regret?? Hope not.. Confirm will shag, but i guess i wanna try to work my mind endurance.. Hope i dun die of exhaustion thou.. LOL!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Ref si bei jia lat..
Du Lan.. That was the only reason why i did not blog straight away aft yst's match.. I know Liverpool beat Man Utd twice last season, but yst's defeat, was just unbearable.. I cld totally accept last season's double defeat cos plainly, Man Utd were rubbish then.. But yst, come on, it was more of the ref killing the game than Man Utd not deserving any result, a draw wld have been fair, but i still believed Man Utd cld have won..
Most people would come out and say Liverpool was the better team, they wanted it more than Man Utd.. I think it's true to a certain extend.. Yes, Liverpool played their lungs out.. They closed down scholes and carrick at every opportunity they had.. Whether was it, Lucas, Mascherano, Kuyt and even Torres did it.. Man Utd was seriously restricted..
But the way i looked at it, i felt Man Utd wanted to tire Liverpool out and strike when their guards were down.. The fact that Man Utd was playing away, they were more cautious, they cldnt expect to be gung ho in attack.. That is why they kept keeping possession and passing the ball around.. But I was impressed with Liverpool for this match only, becos it seemed like they were running endlessly.. They were never tired to close dwn the midfield.. And that for me, won the game.. Everyone knows most of the plays start from the central midfield pair.. Scholes sending a diagonal pass to a winger, or Carrick playing the strikers through..
That being said, Liverpool could continuously close them down becos of one plain reason, the bloody ref.. Think of Man Utd vs Tottenham this season.. Tottenham was doing the exact same thing Liverpool was doing.. Palacios and Huddlestone close down the midfield fast, they purposely trip the players just to stop the attack.. And Man Utd was shouting at the ref each time Palacios did those small tackles to break down the attack, cos it was like 5-6 times, and they were furious the ref did not decide to book him for excessive fouling..
And when the ref finally did, Palacios was like a tamed lion, he did not dare to risk his game any further cos of that yellow card.. He stopped those little fouls to break up attack, even 50-50 balls he would have to think twice.. That yellow card was so crucial in that game, cos from then on, Man Utd won the game.. Redknapp knew Palacios cldnt do anything anymore, so he took him out at half time for Jenas.. That was when Man Utd controlled the whole game already..
So the same theory goes back to yst's match.. How in the world did Lucas escaped w/o a yellow card?? Liverpool made 20 fouls compared to Man Utd's 13.. Probably half of that amount was Lucas who made them.. He did what Palacios did, take out the player when they are starting the attack.. Mascherano also did the same thing, but look what happened when he had the yellow card, he wasnt diving for tackles anymore.. He was tamed.. And in the end, Mascherano who probably made half the fouls of Lucas got sent off, and Lucas still haven even get a yellow card!!
U wanna talk about logic or consistency in refereeing?? That was bullshit.. If Lucas had a yellow card in the first half, the game wld have changed.. And subsequently when Mascherano got a yellow, i can confidently say, Man Utd wld have owned.. Cos who can Benitez bring in for either of them?? The youngster Spearing?? Dun think so.. That was the first showing of how the ref screwed the game..
The second and most blatant poor refereeing.. Was the Carragher incident.. How the hell was it not a red, i still had no idea.. How cld Vidic be sent off last yr for a similar incident, but Carragher only got a yellow?? How.. I dun get it.. Carragher sent off wld change the game?? Definitely.. He was the one clearing the balls, making the crucial interceptions n tackles in the defence, he was on form.. It wld have made a whole lot of diff if he was sent off..
Yes, people can say Liverpool still wld have won, cos all i can give now is what ifs.. What if Lucas was cautioned.. What if Carragher was sent off.. True, no guarantee Man Utd wld have won, but i believe their chances of winning wld have tripled if both that decisions came to pass..
But i will still have a dig at Liverpool.. Yes, you may have perform outstandingly yst, but the reason why you cant win the EPL, is becos u only raise your games against Man Utd, and when it comes to other teams, u will go back to your old form.. So forgot about winning the tittle..
I can never accept this defeat, cos plainly to me, the ref screwed it up.. I din think Man Utd played badly.. I say again, i cld accept last season's two losses, but not yst..
Most people would come out and say Liverpool was the better team, they wanted it more than Man Utd.. I think it's true to a certain extend.. Yes, Liverpool played their lungs out.. They closed down scholes and carrick at every opportunity they had.. Whether was it, Lucas, Mascherano, Kuyt and even Torres did it.. Man Utd was seriously restricted..
But the way i looked at it, i felt Man Utd wanted to tire Liverpool out and strike when their guards were down.. The fact that Man Utd was playing away, they were more cautious, they cldnt expect to be gung ho in attack.. That is why they kept keeping possession and passing the ball around.. But I was impressed with Liverpool for this match only, becos it seemed like they were running endlessly.. They were never tired to close dwn the midfield.. And that for me, won the game.. Everyone knows most of the plays start from the central midfield pair.. Scholes sending a diagonal pass to a winger, or Carrick playing the strikers through..
That being said, Liverpool could continuously close them down becos of one plain reason, the bloody ref.. Think of Man Utd vs Tottenham this season.. Tottenham was doing the exact same thing Liverpool was doing.. Palacios and Huddlestone close down the midfield fast, they purposely trip the players just to stop the attack.. And Man Utd was shouting at the ref each time Palacios did those small tackles to break down the attack, cos it was like 5-6 times, and they were furious the ref did not decide to book him for excessive fouling..
And when the ref finally did, Palacios was like a tamed lion, he did not dare to risk his game any further cos of that yellow card.. He stopped those little fouls to break up attack, even 50-50 balls he would have to think twice.. That yellow card was so crucial in that game, cos from then on, Man Utd won the game.. Redknapp knew Palacios cldnt do anything anymore, so he took him out at half time for Jenas.. That was when Man Utd controlled the whole game already..
So the same theory goes back to yst's match.. How in the world did Lucas escaped w/o a yellow card?? Liverpool made 20 fouls compared to Man Utd's 13.. Probably half of that amount was Lucas who made them.. He did what Palacios did, take out the player when they are starting the attack.. Mascherano also did the same thing, but look what happened when he had the yellow card, he wasnt diving for tackles anymore.. He was tamed.. And in the end, Mascherano who probably made half the fouls of Lucas got sent off, and Lucas still haven even get a yellow card!!
U wanna talk about logic or consistency in refereeing?? That was bullshit.. If Lucas had a yellow card in the first half, the game wld have changed.. And subsequently when Mascherano got a yellow, i can confidently say, Man Utd wld have owned.. Cos who can Benitez bring in for either of them?? The youngster Spearing?? Dun think so.. That was the first showing of how the ref screwed the game..
The second and most blatant poor refereeing.. Was the Carragher incident.. How the hell was it not a red, i still had no idea.. How cld Vidic be sent off last yr for a similar incident, but Carragher only got a yellow?? How.. I dun get it.. Carragher sent off wld change the game?? Definitely.. He was the one clearing the balls, making the crucial interceptions n tackles in the defence, he was on form.. It wld have made a whole lot of diff if he was sent off..
Yes, people can say Liverpool still wld have won, cos all i can give now is what ifs.. What if Lucas was cautioned.. What if Carragher was sent off.. True, no guarantee Man Utd wld have won, but i believe their chances of winning wld have tripled if both that decisions came to pass..
But i will still have a dig at Liverpool.. Yes, you may have perform outstandingly yst, but the reason why you cant win the EPL, is becos u only raise your games against Man Utd, and when it comes to other teams, u will go back to your old form.. So forgot about winning the tittle..
I can never accept this defeat, cos plainly to me, the ref screwed it up.. I din think Man Utd played badly.. I say again, i cld accept last season's two losses, but not yst..
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Man Utd vs LiverFool..
From the movie, Ghost of girlfriend's past, "The one who loves less has the power in the relationship, but power isn't everything."
The big match on sunday, thou they aren't next door neighbours, but it is still the fiercest rivalry in EPL, both tied at 18 EPL titles and both wanting to make a statement about their title ambitions with this victory..
It's Man Utd vs Liverpool..
It's easy to write off Liverpool considering their poor form and their clueless manager at the moment, but one thing for sure in football, the ball is round, so anything can happen..
But i just wanna dig at Liverpool's current situation.. I think they are a joke, i think rafa's a joke.. First for selling Xabi Alonso.. Rafa wanted to dispose of him at the start of last season so he cld get $$ for gareth barry, and when that din come thru, he had to stick with Xabi, who performed outstandingly for them, guiding them to 2nd in the EPL, their best so far since like dunno when?!?!
And at the start of this season, u cldnt really blame Xabi for leaving cos he din felt wanted at the club initially.. Is like u tot u found a better girl, but den when u fail to get that girl, u stick wif ur old one, turns out, in de end, u regrrrreeettt.. And Rafa, still had the cheek to threaten Xabi with the fans, saying how they were always behind him.. That is just underhand tricks, Rafa is a bastard.. Thankfully, Xabi left, and Liverfool din get Barry either but instead Aquliani who hasnt even start a match for liverpool yet.. DUMB!
So obviously liverpool has a poor start to the season.. Xabi was like battery of the liverpool team, he was solid like a Energizer, but now that the energizer battery was gone, they swap it with lucas, a china brand battery, that is why they are never gonna perform like the way they did last season.. The best thing, Rafa doesnt get it, he doesnt get it that Lucas is never gonna replace Xabi, he want to INSIST, but FAIL! So Rafa thought he got it right this time, try a new formation against Sunderland, 3-5-2, but still FAIL!! Si bei jia lat..
But the thing is, Man Utd had the same thing happening to them.. Tevez n Ronaldo are gone.. But what is the difference?? Ferguson came out and say, okay, now that they are gone, we know we cant play the same way, cos we lost our main focus, Ronaldo, we gonna change the way we play.. True enuf, Man Utd reverted back to an old school 4-4-2, where the full backs charge down alot.. Last time, the balls are just fed to Ronaldo to conjure up something, while the team defends, now, you see the full backs running down more, cos Valencia or Nani will drop..
That is the brilliance of Ferguson.. He din do what Rafa did, he din say, okay Ronaldo is gone, Nani, step up to the plate, if he did, Man Utd wld perform like Liverpool right now.. So now Man Utd is more potent in their attacks.. Cos last time, oppositions just double team Ronaldo, now no one is really the focus, Man Utd could attack from any side, opponents arent sure where United will attack from..
And that is the reason why, Man United will win this sunday.. Enuf said..
The big match on sunday, thou they aren't next door neighbours, but it is still the fiercest rivalry in EPL, both tied at 18 EPL titles and both wanting to make a statement about their title ambitions with this victory..
It's Man Utd vs Liverpool..
It's easy to write off Liverpool considering their poor form and their clueless manager at the moment, but one thing for sure in football, the ball is round, so anything can happen..
But i just wanna dig at Liverpool's current situation.. I think they are a joke, i think rafa's a joke.. First for selling Xabi Alonso.. Rafa wanted to dispose of him at the start of last season so he cld get $$ for gareth barry, and when that din come thru, he had to stick with Xabi, who performed outstandingly for them, guiding them to 2nd in the EPL, their best so far since like dunno when?!?!
And at the start of this season, u cldnt really blame Xabi for leaving cos he din felt wanted at the club initially.. Is like u tot u found a better girl, but den when u fail to get that girl, u stick wif ur old one, turns out, in de end, u regrrrreeettt.. And Rafa, still had the cheek to threaten Xabi with the fans, saying how they were always behind him.. That is just underhand tricks, Rafa is a bastard.. Thankfully, Xabi left, and Liverfool din get Barry either but instead Aquliani who hasnt even start a match for liverpool yet.. DUMB!
So obviously liverpool has a poor start to the season.. Xabi was like battery of the liverpool team, he was solid like a Energizer, but now that the energizer battery was gone, they swap it with lucas, a china brand battery, that is why they are never gonna perform like the way they did last season.. The best thing, Rafa doesnt get it, he doesnt get it that Lucas is never gonna replace Xabi, he want to INSIST, but FAIL! So Rafa thought he got it right this time, try a new formation against Sunderland, 3-5-2, but still FAIL!! Si bei jia lat..
But the thing is, Man Utd had the same thing happening to them.. Tevez n Ronaldo are gone.. But what is the difference?? Ferguson came out and say, okay, now that they are gone, we know we cant play the same way, cos we lost our main focus, Ronaldo, we gonna change the way we play.. True enuf, Man Utd reverted back to an old school 4-4-2, where the full backs charge down alot.. Last time, the balls are just fed to Ronaldo to conjure up something, while the team defends, now, you see the full backs running down more, cos Valencia or Nani will drop..
That is the brilliance of Ferguson.. He din do what Rafa did, he din say, okay Ronaldo is gone, Nani, step up to the plate, if he did, Man Utd wld perform like Liverpool right now.. So now Man Utd is more potent in their attacks.. Cos last time, oppositions just double team Ronaldo, now no one is really the focus, Man Utd could attack from any side, opponents arent sure where United will attack from..
And that is the reason why, Man United will win this sunday.. Enuf said..
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Bravery = 0
Right now, No one is perfect, would be the summary of my experiences that i've had recently..
As much as i can complain about someone, at the end of the day i realised, no one is perfect.. Our weaknesses may show, and it will never be tolerable, cos plainly, they are weaknesses..
They say as you grow older you become wiser, cos u've experienced more in life.. But i can never grasp the correct way to tell someone that he/she is wrong.. How do you do tat?? Seriously.. How do you tell a close one that he/she is wrong w/o having to face the music after telling them..
I quote from the previous post about the speech, " The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth". Going through 22 years of my life, and this is one puzzle that i haven solved.. Even if the person were to tell me, hit me with the truth, i can take it, i know for sure, it will hurt the person deeply.. I'd like to think that i am right most of times as well, and i know how it feels to be proven wrong.. The feeling sucks, it's hurting, it's all you think about the next few days..
Tell me how then.. how??
It really doesnt help that i'm not a good communicator.. I'm not really someone who brightens up people day by saying the right things or have the ability to say things at the right time.. I want to come across as, hey, i think you're wrong, but i am not condemning you.. But most of the time, fail, becos my emotions get the better of me sometimes..
I like the previous post about the speech so much, maybe it's becos i totally agree with the points raised, or just maybe, it's becos i feel some people really need to read that speech..
I'm just not brave enough..
As much as i can complain about someone, at the end of the day i realised, no one is perfect.. Our weaknesses may show, and it will never be tolerable, cos plainly, they are weaknesses..
They say as you grow older you become wiser, cos u've experienced more in life.. But i can never grasp the correct way to tell someone that he/she is wrong.. How do you do tat?? Seriously.. How do you tell a close one that he/she is wrong w/o having to face the music after telling them..
I quote from the previous post about the speech, " The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth". Going through 22 years of my life, and this is one puzzle that i haven solved.. Even if the person were to tell me, hit me with the truth, i can take it, i know for sure, it will hurt the person deeply.. I'd like to think that i am right most of times as well, and i know how it feels to be proven wrong.. The feeling sucks, it's hurting, it's all you think about the next few days..
Tell me how then.. how??
It really doesnt help that i'm not a good communicator.. I'm not really someone who brightens up people day by saying the right things or have the ability to say things at the right time.. I want to come across as, hey, i think you're wrong, but i am not condemning you.. But most of the time, fail, becos my emotions get the better of me sometimes..
I like the previous post about the speech so much, maybe it's becos i totally agree with the points raised, or just maybe, it's becos i feel some people really need to read that speech..
I'm just not brave enough..
Friday, October 16, 2009
Life and how to survive it..
This is popping everywhere in people's facebook link.. And i tot, i would wanna put it down in my blog becos it wld serve as a reminder when i look back.. This is damn good..
Speech by Adrian Tan (writer of the Teenage Textbook & lawyer from Drew & Napier) to the NTU graduating class of 2008, and many thanks to Bright and Hitesh for sharing.
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Life and How to Survive It
I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.
My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.
On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.
Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.
And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.
Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.
The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.
You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.
The good news is that they’re wrong.
The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.
I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.
You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.
Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.
So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.
Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.
I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.
After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.
Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.
That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.
What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.
Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.
What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.
Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.
The most important is this: do not work.
Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.
Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.
There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.
People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.
Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.
Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.
I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.
So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.
Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.
Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.
In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.
I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.
It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.
One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.
The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.
I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.
Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It is far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.
Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.
Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.
You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back.Its value is to inspire you.
Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.
Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life expectancy.
Speech by Adrian Tan (writer of the Teenage Textbook & lawyer from Drew & Napier) to the NTU graduating class of 2008, and many thanks to Bright and Hitesh for sharing.
--------------------------
Life and How to Survive It
I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.
My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.
On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.
Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.
And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.
Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.
The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.
You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.
The good news is that they’re wrong.
The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.
I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.
You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.
Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.
So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.
Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.
I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.
After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.
Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.
That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.
What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.
Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.
What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.
Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.
The most important is this: do not work.
Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.
Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.
There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.
People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.
Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.
Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.
I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.
So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.
Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.
Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.
In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.
I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.
It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.
One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.
The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.
I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.
Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It is far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.
Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.
Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.
You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back.Its value is to inspire you.
Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.
Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life expectancy.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I go crazy.. crazy.. baby, i go crazy..
Today was such a crazy day!!
First jun asked me to play dota when there was just me n him.. Haven happened in a while.. Then there was this group conversation that just brought back memories of the past.. It's posted on matt's blog.. Quick bangs, fast come backs, random remarks that made it look like sum secondary school kids having a conversation! Haha..
Finally caught Harry Potter Half Blood Prince.. So so disappointing.. Along wif transformers 2.. So so disappointing.. Thankfully din catch it in the theatres.. Hangover.. still the most worth it show so far..
I am more confused than ever..
First jun asked me to play dota when there was just me n him.. Haven happened in a while.. Then there was this group conversation that just brought back memories of the past.. It's posted on matt's blog.. Quick bangs, fast come backs, random remarks that made it look like sum secondary school kids having a conversation! Haha..
Finally caught Harry Potter Half Blood Prince.. So so disappointing.. Along wif transformers 2.. So so disappointing.. Thankfully din catch it in the theatres.. Hangover.. still the most worth it show so far..
I am more confused than ever..
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Singapore football.. a joke..
To all true football fans out there, i recommend you a must watch video, The Damned United.. It's about the story of Nigel Clough's managerial days.. FYI, Nigel Clough is a legend in England, just that, he wasnt in our era.. He brought the likes of Derby and Nottingham Forrest to be England champions and European champions.. Yes, they were unknown clubs then, but he and Peter Taylor changed them in to champions.. Very nice show..
Still on the topic of football, joining my cousin's team to play field soccer was really an eye opener.. All along whenever i play football, i always play with or against friends or friends of friends.. So most of the time it wld be friendly, no hard tackles or what sort.. But ever since i joined my cousin to play, the football world in Singapore never looked the same again..
We all watched EPL and what we see is pure professional football.. Where people are disciplined or are punished for not being disciplined.. That is of the highest standards.. In Singapore, the standards are so low.. In S-League, the standards are already low, can you imagine semi-pro leagues like ESPZEN n Poly/Ite league or even just friendlies on sunday, it's much worst..
I'm a fan of clean games but in Singapore, it's not always like that.. If you're skillful, people "take you out".. If you're a hard player, people will "take you out".. If people dun like you or your face, they will "take you out".. What does it mean by "take you out".. It's those horrific tackles or cheapshots when referee isnt looking.. Imagine jumping to head a ball and getting an elbow to the face, or getting hit in the kidneys while the ref isnt looking..
I'm prob just talking about the usual stuff that happens.. There are more extreme stuff that i've yet to witness.. And of cos, there would surely be those assholes who are more interested in fights than soccer.. The worst thing is that, it isnt uncommon to see fights in matches.. I just heard from my cousin, his Singapore Poly team fought with SIM team in a match.. My cousin told me he joined ESPZEN futsal league, 7/10 matches end up in fights..
And last sat, i just played in a match where my team mate went to punch another player, ref had to end the game early.. He's a malay, not surprising, and he isnt one of those i normally play with either, just know the team that day.. You really wanna excel in football in Singapore?? Your legs must probably be made of steel..
Another story, there was this guy i played with in Simei, i swear his legs could move as fast as Ronaldo's.. Stepovers like free, but i heard now his football career is over cos too many injuries.. That's the real truth.. Lobang a defender and you'll get knocked off for sure later.. Do too many stepovers, you'll see legs flying at you.. That's the sad truth..
And dun get me started on Singapore referees.. If Ferguson could complain about the fitness of EPL refs, wait till he has a random Singapore ref at his game.. I think Ferguson prob would have a heart attack just watching that game.. Really CMI..
Singapore would never succeed football if they dont clear out all these.. Really..
Still on the topic of football, joining my cousin's team to play field soccer was really an eye opener.. All along whenever i play football, i always play with or against friends or friends of friends.. So most of the time it wld be friendly, no hard tackles or what sort.. But ever since i joined my cousin to play, the football world in Singapore never looked the same again..
We all watched EPL and what we see is pure professional football.. Where people are disciplined or are punished for not being disciplined.. That is of the highest standards.. In Singapore, the standards are so low.. In S-League, the standards are already low, can you imagine semi-pro leagues like ESPZEN n Poly/Ite league or even just friendlies on sunday, it's much worst..
I'm a fan of clean games but in Singapore, it's not always like that.. If you're skillful, people "take you out".. If you're a hard player, people will "take you out".. If people dun like you or your face, they will "take you out".. What does it mean by "take you out".. It's those horrific tackles or cheapshots when referee isnt looking.. Imagine jumping to head a ball and getting an elbow to the face, or getting hit in the kidneys while the ref isnt looking..
I'm prob just talking about the usual stuff that happens.. There are more extreme stuff that i've yet to witness.. And of cos, there would surely be those assholes who are more interested in fights than soccer.. The worst thing is that, it isnt uncommon to see fights in matches.. I just heard from my cousin, his Singapore Poly team fought with SIM team in a match.. My cousin told me he joined ESPZEN futsal league, 7/10 matches end up in fights..
And last sat, i just played in a match where my team mate went to punch another player, ref had to end the game early.. He's a malay, not surprising, and he isnt one of those i normally play with either, just know the team that day.. You really wanna excel in football in Singapore?? Your legs must probably be made of steel..
Another story, there was this guy i played with in Simei, i swear his legs could move as fast as Ronaldo's.. Stepovers like free, but i heard now his football career is over cos too many injuries.. That's the real truth.. Lobang a defender and you'll get knocked off for sure later.. Do too many stepovers, you'll see legs flying at you.. That's the sad truth..
And dun get me started on Singapore referees.. If Ferguson could complain about the fitness of EPL refs, wait till he has a random Singapore ref at his game.. I think Ferguson prob would have a heart attack just watching that game.. Really CMI..
Singapore would never succeed football if they dont clear out all these.. Really..
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Iphone 3GS
Iphone 3GS in my hands now.. Muhahaha.. Finally!!! Hate it or love, it is still a good phone.. Bye bye old mp4 player.. You have been through alot with me, you will not be forgotten, i hope.. haha..
Playing soccer 3 times in 2 days is really no joke.. Not for the faint hearted.. My body aching like mad.. Could i go back to china for another round of massage??
I poured out my heart n soul to you, leaving me vulnerable to whatever you reply..
Playing soccer 3 times in 2 days is really no joke.. Not for the faint hearted.. My body aching like mad.. Could i go back to china for another round of massage??
I poured out my heart n soul to you, leaving me vulnerable to whatever you reply..
Words come easy..
You're more than enough for me..
I really dunno what to say anymore.. made me speechless.. Given up hope.. Word of advise, Just look in the mirror.. Really
I really dunno what to say anymore.. made me speechless.. Given up hope.. Word of advise, Just look in the mirror.. Really
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
How low must i go??
There once was this man, he was being invited to his gf's hse for dinner. But the lady was so busy talking to her friends on the phone that she completely ignored her bf who was sitting next to her.
The man attempted several times to strike up a conversation with her but was unsuccessful. After 30mins, the man slipped away unnoticed by his gf. A few minutes later, she received yet another phone call. This time it was from her bf. He was so desperate to talk to her that he came up with the idea to talk to her on the phone.
Sometimes that is exactly how i feel.. Must i really go down to desperation just to get your attention??
The man attempted several times to strike up a conversation with her but was unsuccessful. After 30mins, the man slipped away unnoticed by his gf. A few minutes later, she received yet another phone call. This time it was from her bf. He was so desperate to talk to her that he came up with the idea to talk to her on the phone.
Sometimes that is exactly how i feel.. Must i really go down to desperation just to get your attention??
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I'm a free man..
Enjoying every free day i have right now.. It gets a lil boring sometimes.. There is only so much games n videos that i can watch in a day.. And when all else fails, napping is my next best option.. This is freedom!! haha..
If only the timing was perfect.. Waiting for 2010 games to come out right now.. Cant wait for it.. The new seasons of The Office, Heroes, The Simpsons and Ben 10 Alien Force are out.. So t aint that bad.. And alot of Dvd rips of new movies just came out.. Just watched Transformers 2 n GI Joe.. I still cant believe i din catch those movies in the cinema.. Damn.. What the hell is my safra card for.. I need to find a movie buddy.. One who doesnt mind just 2 ppl watching.. So hard to get the whole group to watch together sometimes..
All these will be gone by the end of this month.. Enjoy it while i can.. Or i will reeegrrretttt..
If only the timing was perfect.. Waiting for 2010 games to come out right now.. Cant wait for it.. The new seasons of The Office, Heroes, The Simpsons and Ben 10 Alien Force are out.. So t aint that bad.. And alot of Dvd rips of new movies just came out.. Just watched Transformers 2 n GI Joe.. I still cant believe i din catch those movies in the cinema.. Damn.. What the hell is my safra card for.. I need to find a movie buddy.. One who doesnt mind just 2 ppl watching.. So hard to get the whole group to watch together sometimes..
All these will be gone by the end of this month.. Enjoy it while i can.. Or i will reeegrrretttt..
Monday, October 5, 2009
Hinder
Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine
Without you
I conclude, good intentions arent enuf, action speaks louder than words.. People care more about their comfort zone.. It disgusts me when people swear their lives upon something that they cant keep..
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine
Without you
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