Story of my Life

First of the new year

2012-01-02T23:37:00.001+08:00

My first post from my iPhone! Awesome!

Happy new year to all my readers! The few of you..

Another year has passed.. I remember this time last year I was reflecting on my past year.. I know I haven do it yet, and I'll probably do it soon.. I guess?? Haha.. Where got time to blog now?!? Now relationship more impt leh..

I'm glad.. This is the year when I can start off happy in a relationship again.. Sure feels like I can face this world and everything it has to throw at me and nothing is gonna bring me down! That's how awesome being in a relationship is!

This year will truly be a year of new beginnings.. A new relationship.. My new dream job.. New responsibilities.. And even possibly a new CG! Haha.. Yup, damn cui.. I just changed about a year ago, but things have developed to a stage where it's becoming unbearable to be in this CG.. More on this if I have the time next time..

Let's just say even Christians are not perfect.. And it's really gross conduct that I'm witnessing in this CG.. Certain CG members of cos.. The correct word is flaky.. These members really use words like, 'God', 'holy spirits', 'bible' very loosely.. Not talking about new born Christians who foolishly acts very holy but actually members who are in this church for quite awhile and even the main helper who acts very flaky and hypocritical.. Is really gross..

Is like imagine people going all spiritual on you over what your favorite food is.. Imagine you like steaks alot and suddenly people start telling you that the holy spirit told them that you don't really like beef at all.. Or start quoting you verses abt how you shld stay strong and not waver in the face of eating beef.. Im not exaggerating one bit at all, it is that ridiculous if you hear what I know..

Truth be told, I'm not that affected by it since they are not even considered my friends.. I really only care what
My family and true friends aka Tuesday dinner gang thinks.. But it's just gross knowing it comes from a CG since its suppose to be more 'righteous' than the people of the world.. Oh well..

On a side note, I have been watching how I met your mother series all over again cos my gf just came out from her ancient cave and just started watching it after I intro-Ed her..

.........……
I know right!

She loves it now and it's okay, it's one of my favorite shows anyway, din mind catching it again.. And she has really learnt a few life lessons from the show.. For eg she now thinks its really A blessing to be in a relationship.. Awesome! I think everyone in the world must watch HIMYM.. Especially couples.. It honestly helps to show you who you shouldn't Marry in life..

Alright signing off now.. Till the next update, bye!

A great finisher

2011-12-20T01:48:00.000+08:00

Cant believe it's been a month since I last blogged.. And as always, if you're a sharp reader of me, you would already guessed or suspect what has happened to me.. Yup, I'm seeing someone now, but it's not official for a few reasons.. Yup, you can say my desire has finally come true, and yes, I'm definitely more happy than I was when I was single.. But I dun really have to explain much about my feelings now, cos you can probably just read my older posts to know how much I want this..

1 month of stuff has happened and I dun really know how to squeeze all of them in 1 post..

Let's see.... I passed all my exams this semester, which means, unofficially, I have graduated!!! My convocation is during august though, I know, WTF, but it's damn lame cos they only hold it once a year for the July intake batches, while I'm a January intake.. So gotta wait for the next intake to 'graduate' together..

So officially my next worry in life is to get a good job! Fingers cross, and really hoping hard I do get a job in the big 4 even though my chances are super slim.. It's really one of those if I do get the job, it would be a miracle kinda thing.. So I hope God's miracle will appear.. I pledge my building fund and the 100-fold blessing offering in hope of getting that jobs.. I dun really need an immediate $500 blessing cos I know if I do get the job at the big 4, I can easily clear my building fund or even earn $500.. So again, my hope is in the Lord..

Then I had reservist call-up last week as well.. Spent 4 days in camp.. Really felt like I wasted life there.. I basically did like one assignment during the whole of my 4 days there.. Which was to enter 7 pages of contact numbers to the people in my unit. Other than that, it was really just sleep in bunk, go cookhouse eat, canteen, go e-mart, slack and surf internet in office, watch shows on my iphone..

It din help that the Sgt in charge of me was the quiet kind.. It's not that my friends and I din wanna do anything.. We even went up to him a few times and asked and even requested that if anything call us.. We even gave him our tel numbers so that he could call us to do something.. But he still din really use us.. So not really our fault right.. He just choose to do everything himself.. Let him be then..

But I cant really complain since I heard stories of reservist from Jun and Matt.. And theirs is shockingly bad.. But then again, I shouldnt compared with infantry units cos they definitely would be more shiong than mine.. But then again, theirs is really too much different from mine.. My unit outfield really was damn relaxed.. But I also heard of other people who had even more relaxed reservist than mine.. Airforce reservist.. Still can stay out and do nothing much also.. So that definitely beats mine lah.. So I'm very contented with mine..

I dont think I will say the story of how I got together with my 'date' now.. The most important parts of the story are too personal to share also, so I dun see a point also.. Even my close friends dunno the whole story.. Not that I dont wanna share, but it's not my secrets to disclose.. So I cant disclose also.. So yea.. All I can say is, I may not have done the right things during the process, but what's done is done and I gotta just move on..

Kk, let me just share a quick summary.. I am dating this girl in my cellgroup who was formally engaged. After she broke off her engagement, I started dating her immediately cos we are very close friends from the start.. So yea, go ahead and make the judgements.. I'm in no position to judge either cos if I were to switch roles and stand in a viewpoint of an outsider, I'll probably think the same thing as what majority would assume as well.. And that is I am the reason why they broke off and that I ruined a relationship, third party etc..

But I guess sometimes love can be found in the weirdest places and time.. How do you even predict when you will fall in love or meet the right one? I found out the weird way..

On a lighter note, at least I can say the theory works - 'Got goalkeeper doesn't mean cannot score'.
And as Matt summed it up - 'Fwah, you got two goalkeepers also still score ah!'
Well all I can say is, I'm a great finisher..

Just Like That!

Petty man and dumb woman

2011-11-19T22:12:00.001+08:00

It's been a long time since I last blogged..

Well, haven got a job yet.. So I'm really penniless.. Doesnt really help that it's close to end of the year so people are waiting to receive their year end bonus instead of quitting their jobs.. So yea, kinda hard to find a job now.. I mean I could, but it would be those sucky ones that I'm not willing to commit.. So what's the point really.. Not like I'm a year w/o a job now and still choosy with what I wanna work.. So i guess it's okay? hahaha..

Well, there's another reason why I'm penniless.. Oh yea, I forgot to shout out here that I passed my driving! And it's really by grace that I managed to pass.. Cos despite this being the third time, it was my worst attempt at driving test.. Like I dunno why, you're supposed to get better with practice.. But somehow it worked the opposite for me.. The more times I took the test, the bigger the pressure to pass.. So I cock up even more.. First time was almost perfect, less the safety checks.. Second was quite messed up already, but at least my circuit was okay.. This time round, I made like 2-3 attempts before parking my vehicle, and it was slanted when it was parked sumore.. Really like FAIL.. Even I was embarrassed by my own parking.. It was damn bad..

I tot that was it already, confirm fail, CONFIRM, WITH MY LIFE.. But the tester that day was not super nice, I mean he scold me after the test, like really scold.. But he still passed me nonetheless.. He din even mark me down for my numerous attempts at parking or failing to stop at the line and I'm sure many others.. Hence my theory is still right.. It all depends on the tester that day.. It almost doesnt really matter how well you drive.. True story..

Which leads me to my next story.. Penniless me.. I got into an accident just a week after I passed.. I know right, like really ultimate fail driver.. And it was my bad cos I din check my blind spot while changing lanes.. But more unfortunately for me, I banged a very petty man.. He looked like MC king but more loserish kind.. Prob the loser guy in secondary school that no one wants to mix with that's why he takes life so hard.. And his gf or wife or prostitute or whatever.. Isnt any better.. Empty vessel making the loudest noise.. She should dye her hair blond to suit her brain..

The sucky thing was, I wasnt driving my car.. I was driving my date's car.. Yup FYI, i'm dating.. That's another story to tell.. And I crashed it.. Actually it wasnt really that bad.. Basically the damage was my whole side mirror came out while the other guy had a slightly faulty side mirror which after adjusting, looks okay, no problem.. And slight spots of paint on the side mirror that was scrapped off during the accident.. Then there was also a slight dent from the impact of the hit.. He wants to claim for the whole mirror, change the whole mirror.. Then he wanna add on for allowance of car use cos he cant use the car while the car is in the workshop.. And he wanna add this and that.. Basically, he just wants to use this opportunity to get as much benefits as possible..

I'm kinda lazy to type the whole story out, but basically, I'm paying for both car damages and the total cost adds up to $650.. And my allowance is only $500.. And I'm not working.. And I just pledge building fund.. And I'm dating.. Thankfully my sis gave me alittle allowance to survive till my next allowance, which I dunno when will it be cos I really just took my $500 like this week, and like totally gave it all away already.. BEST.. If I was single, it would totally be okay.. Now dating, no $$ really like dog.. Hope God comes true for me, if not I dun see how I can fulfill building fund..

Oscar winning film

2011-11-08T19:08:00.000+08:00

This is my 495th post! 5 more to go after this and it's phive hundred.. PHIVE!

It's been a week since my last paper.. Nothing much to say really.. Really hope I pass cos I'm never confident when it comes to theory-based papers.. Then it's graduation! Then the major headache comes, a J-O-B.. Really so far, all applications to the Big Four companies have failed.. I guess it's my own fault that I started planning my future so late.. But I have a plan in my head already.. So, hopefully all works out, I get to go into a Big Four company, if not, start from a lower one.. Can't complain..

Tomorrow is my driving test, for the freaking third time, so that's gonna be fun.. Okay not really.. but again, hope I pass.. Hope I get a lenient tester this time! Fingers crossed.. If i pass..... I tell you... Song song song..

Well, for the past week, my life has been like some Oscar winning film.. Drama to the max.. It involves a girl, I mean it has to, if not it can't be called a film.. It would just be called sausage fest or something.. I'm not gonna reveal much yet.. I dunno when will I be comfortable to share through this channel.. But i definitely did not expect my life to have such twist and turns, such drama that is only seen in the movie screens..

I never thought I would find myself in this situation, or even anywhere close to this.. Have I passed the 'do the right thing' test? I'm not too sure.. I'm not that strong really..

Let me end with this song by Katy Perry - Thinking of you

Hello-ween

2011-10-29T01:50:00.001+08:00

It's that time of the year again..

Where my month's post adds up to more than my average for the year.. Cos it's examinations time! Yup, really extremely sian/bored/wanna-stab-myself-in-the-eye.. Today everyone is out there celebrating halloween..

I for one am not the kind of person that celebrates such "fun" days.. Never celebrated halloween, highly doubt I ever will.. The thought of preparing so much stuff just for a day that isnt even a holiday or doesnt actually have any meaning in Singapore, it tires me.. I dunno how Singapore is catching this 'fever' of halloween as well.. I dun remember when I was young seeing people dress up like they do today..

Maybe as one friend of my said, i quote, 'time for some girls to have an excuse to dress cheaply again'. But who am I to complain? As long as she's not my girlfriend, I can just have a free show.. haha.. Then the old argument about 'can guys stop staring at girls when they dress provocatively' comes out again.. Well, one things for sure, they dun understand biology of men.. If we dont look at sexily dressed women, we are gay! And that's bad for the world and girls! Since girls always say all the nice men are either married or gay.. haha.. So bottom line, if you women dun want people to stare, then just cover up, being sexy is being confident and not in the way you dress.. End of argument.

Perfect e.g

Although I must say I enjoy seeing friends of mine dress up, so I can judge their outfits.. LOL!
Fail.... Fail.... Fail... Hello Wonder Woman.. Fail..
Haha..

Okay, enough ranting.. Back to stud... SLEEP! Woo!

Begin the ending

2011-10-26T17:16:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's the beginning of the end..

Start of my last semester's exams.. Two papers this semester.. Both are theories again.. FML.. Really would like a brain that actually remembers stuff.. Would really help so much in my studies.. Despite this being an accounting course, I believe close to 75% of the modules I take are more theory-based than calculations based.. So much for being in a course where you are supposed to be good in numbers.. Defeats the whole purpose really..

The past few weeks have been, how should I put it, refreshing? I dunno, I cant find the right word.. You know how it feels when you find someone new that you can actually click with.. Someone who actually get your sense of humor and trust me, not alot of people do.. Someone that bothers to reciprocate the same commitment to a friendship as you.. That someone.. I think I found it in my CG..

There are a few of these people in my life, but it's difficult to maintain the closeness.. I cant pinpoint why.. Maybe they are not as committed to me as much as I am to them, I mean afterall, I'm someone who prefers a small close group of friends while they have a bigger circle of friends.. I dunno, I'm just speculating.. But let's leave with a politically correct guess, that we both have our own lives to lead and sometimes it's hard to align our lives to meet up..

So the past few weeks, I've done some 'crazy' stuff with my CG friend.. First of all, she became my jogging buddy since she needs to lose weight for her wedding next year (yea peeps, she's engaged, I'm not hitting on her), while I wanna keep fit and hopefully lose weight like always (but failed)..

Then she forced me to catch the sunrise with her after this study cum watching session at ECP's Mcdonalds.. Basically, we went for a jog at ECP, then I studied while she was doing up her present for her Dad's birthday and I din know Man Utd was playing champions league that night, so after studying, I forced her to watch the match.. So I guess we're even there.. So by then it was near sunrise so might as well wait with her then..

But it failed, like epically failed.. Cos turns out her brother needed to use the car in the morning, so before the sun rised, we had to rush back.. Oh yea, she drives, how nice is that (for me).. hahaha..

And I can always rely on her for night study sessions when I haven covered enough during the day (actually did not study anything in the day).. She has her own exams next month so she doesnt mind studying with me as well.. I feel awesome to have someone new to rely on!

That's all the updates for now.. Need to study! (I hope)

Tor Long!

2011-10-24T00:09:00.002+08:00

I cant take it.. I'm soooooo depressed.. Extremely.. Wholeheartedly.. Overwhelmingly.. Depressed.. Why?!? Why must Man Utd lose 6-1 to Man City.. Why cant it just be 2-1.. Why must Johnny Evans play??

A few posts back I posted about ungracious Man Utd fans who always posts cocky statuses whenever Man Utd wins any match.. And I said dont do that cos karma will come back.. Indeed karma has come back and hit hard.. 6-1..

I totally understand how Arsenal fans felt when Man Utd thrashed them 8-2.. Depressed.. There I was sitting in my computer chair after the match.. I din even bother to sit through the match, I missed the last goal by Man City.. I just couldnt bear to watch anymore..

So I sat there.. Really felt like the whole world came crashing down.. I had no motivation to do anything.. Din feel like getting up to bathe.. Din feel like studying.. Din feel like continuing the conversation with my friend.. Totally despaired and despondent.. It hurts..

I really really hate, like extreme hatred, my sworn enemy - Johnny Evans.. Whenever he plays, all the goals let in seem to be because of his mistakes.. Every match starts with 11 players v 11 players.. But when Johnny Evans play, it feels like 12 players vs 10 Man Utd players.. He seems to be playing for the opposition, he is a freaking liability! Pek Chek.. Nothing good comes out of Johnny Evans..

Please Ferguson, if you read my blog, stop playing him, I beg you! Tor Long ah!

Big 5 Personality Test

2011-10-22T01:23:00.004+08:00

Lately, I've been studying Organisation Behaviour module for my exam.. And part of Organisational Behaviour is about knowing yourself. And it talks about the personality tests.. Such as Myer-Briggs which was in my blog for quite awhile already.. I'm kinda in between ISFJ and ISTJ.. Then there is the DISC personality as well.. But the most common personality test according to the textbook, is the Big 5 personality test.. So I decided to try it.. Here it is..

My Personality


Neuroticism	96
Extraversion	1
Openness to Experience	3
Agreeableness	41
Conscientiousness	44

You do not usually get angry too easily but some things can annoy you, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. People generally perceive you as distant and reserved, and you do not usually reach out to others. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You do not like to claim that you are better than other people, and generally shy from talking yourself up, however you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. You are guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about yourself. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing.

You feel tense, jittery, and nervous and often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. You may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. You do not usually get angry too easily but some things can annoy you. Mostly your emotions are on an even keel and you do not get depressed easily. You are sensitive about what others think of you. Your concern about rejection and ridicule cause you to feel shy and uncomfortable around others. You are easily embarrassed and often feel ashamed. Your fears that others will criticize or make fun of you are exaggerated and unrealistic, but your awkwardness and discomfort may make these fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. You feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. You experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress.

People generally perceive you as distant and reserved, and you do not usually reach out to others. You tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. You often need privacy and time for yourself. You tend not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. You get overwhelmed by too much noise and commotion and do not like thrill-seeking activities. You are not prone to spells of energetic high spirits.

You are a moderately imaginative person who enjoys a good balance between the real world and fantasy. You are not interested in the arts and do not display aesthetic sensitivity. You have good access to and awareness of your own feelings. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. You regard intellectual exercises as a waste of your time. You like the security of tradition, but sometimes have a desire to bend the rules and challenge conventional thinking.

You generally see others as selfish, devious, and sometimes potentially dangerous. You believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. You are guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about yourself. You will help others if they are in need. If people ask for too much of your time you feel that they are imposing on you. You do not enjoy confrontation, but you will stand up for yourself or push your point if you feel it is important. You do not like to claim that you are better than other people, and generally shy from talking yourself up. You are tenderhearted and compassionate, feeling the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity.

You are moderately confident that you can achieve the goals you set yourself. You are a reasonably organized person and like to have a certain amount of routine in your life. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing. You are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. You find yourself procrastinating and show poor follow-through on tasks. Often you fail to complete tasks - even tasks that you want very much to complete. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

Chick Magnet

2011-10-17T12:41:00.000+08:00

Dear ~~Diary~~ Blog,

Today, I did something meaningful.. ~~I and my Cg~~ My Cgand I went to an malay orphanage of girls to just bring some cheer to the kidsthere.. I know, my closer friends will start bringing out the "look likesmalay" jokes at this point.. But then again, I cant really find muchevidence to deny I look like a malay.. Well, at least I've been told by afemale that if i were a malay, I wld be the most handsome malay she's ever seenso far.. I dunno why I brought that up, it's not really a praise to meconsidering I would have to look like them in the first place..

So, we started off with introduction.. Name and age for thekids while only name for us cos it seemed a lil embarrassing mentioning our agewhen they're just 9-17 yrs old.. Then there was two ice breaker games -Squirrel, Tree and Hunter and "kai fan le"(something like musicalchairs).. The games were effective since it resulted in the ice being broken..But I kanna the sabo guy cos I lost the last round in "kai fan le"..Of all the rounds to lose, I had to lose the last round - forfeit round, fmlreally..

In de end, sian loh, must dance.. If there's anything Ireally suck at, it's dancing.. There's no dancing bone in my body.. As whatdancers would call it, I have 2 left feet.. So, just made some stupid movementsfor 3 seconds and sua.. But apparently my cellgroup members had photos torelive this 3 seconds.. fml again..

After that, the kids had to do sand art..

They loved thatthe most.. I think it's amazing how such an activity really captures theirinterest and attention.. I for one have not done sand art yet.. Thou there wasthis time during Amos birthday and we bought him the Barney sand art.. haha..But it was Amos who did it himself also.. Anw, I was there to just supervisedtheir progress and stuff and it's interesting that how a simple activity bringsout some traits of the kids..

One of the kids I observed kept losing her toothpick.. Thetoothpick is to pick out the stickers so that the sand can stick on the artpiece.. And she was pretty impatient when waiting for the color of the sand shewanted to reach her.. Plus she unknowingly spilled sand on her other friend'sart piece as well, not very considerate I would say..

Then there are some who are creative like blending twocolors.. Others use more logic like taking out all the sticky parts that theywant to color similarly while others take one sticky part at a time n color it..U can also tell who is more introverted or extroverted as well.. I think i shldbe a psychologist.. lol..

Then last part of the day was the balloon making from mycellgroup members.. You know the one where u can make dogs and heart shapes andstuff..

And then something strange started to happen.. Some of them werefooling ard with their machine gun balloon by all pointing at their friend atfirst..

Then they suddenly turned their attention to me, and pointat me.. This happened a few times.. I seriously dunno why me.. Lastly, wewrapped up by taking photos and packed up and leave.. As we were walkingtowards the front gates, the girls started with pointing their guns at meagain.. And then as we were walking off, they started screaming bye to me.. As inthey said "Bye Jerry".. Which made me kinda confused..

Maybe I attract kids.. PAEDOPHILEEEE!!! What?!? I never saidI was attracted by them what..

Then by now even my Cg joined in the fun saying I was'attractive' cos I look like malay.. Swee.. BWG alr.. If u asked me, i thinkthey're just jealous I grab all the headlines.. Oh well, what to do when you'resuch a ~~chick magnet~~ kid magnet.. Hahaha.. ~~Chick~~

F & F

2011-10-10T03:42:00.001+08:00

It's nearing the end of my Uni life! Exactly on the last day of this month is my last paper and after that ORD LOHHH!!! Oooops, i meant graduate already! Mixed feelings really, cant wait to stop studying yet I dun wanna start working either.. But one thing is for sure, I'm not going the graduation ceremony.. Never was a big fan of a such ceremonies.. Waste money to rent robe.. Waste time to listen to speeches and go thru the ceremony when I could just come down school another day and just take my cert in less than 1 minute..

I think I only ever wore the graduation robe once and that was after O levels.. That was when I went back St Hilda's to collect my cert for best performer of my batch for POA during O levels.. I'm not sure how do they know I got the highest during O levels since O level results only show the grade.. But at that time I remember my sis telling me that if you get highest for prelim and an A1 for O level, then you are awarded.. Now that's more worthwhile to wear the robe and waste time.. haha..

Oh well, I dun really wanna show off my intelligence, but yea, top performer in POA over here people.. So suck it! I'm just kidding.. Not gonna get into it, but I'm an average student all the way.. So, yea, that was my biggest achievement in my life so far..

Anw, back to the present..

I find myself extremely slack this semester.. Really unable to bring up my game during projects.. I'm usually pretty much on the ball, but for 2/3 of my modules, I was just another "team player".. I din really bother to take initiative, like quite sian already.. hahaha.. Anw, this semester is really my star team.. So I can afford to relax.. But at least for the last module, I take charge of the whole project.. Almost the whole project.. So give and take lah really..

I dunno where am I gonna find the motivation to start studying! HG!

At least I only have 2 papers this semester.. Cos one module was 100% project work.. Oh yea, and I was the one that bao the 100% project work! But actually the module is mostly individual scores, but, aiya, long story, dont bother to explain..

Gotta aim for at least 1 credit.. But i think if both pass, I should be able to graduate with a credit.. That's like a C grade lah.. Quite cui but honestly, in accounting, it's very difficult to get a B.. Even those extremely smart students I've come across only graduate with a Distinction.. If you graduate with a High Distinction, then I have to ask that retarded person, why the hell are you in SIM-RMIT.. Wasted your time..

So I take comfort in that, at least it's not a Pass.. So far it's like 2/9 modules is pass.. Plus 2-3 of my modules were D and HD.. So I believe after able to pull up my grade..

BUT!

Why the hell I care if I get a credit or not.. The truth is, as long as you are not from NTU, NUS or SMU, you will find it hard to enter the Accounting Big 4 Companies.. I recently went to the Big 4's websites.. And some had position openings for graduates.. When I click to apply, they ask me to choose between whether i graduate from NUS, NTU or SMU.. Only 3 options.. There was not even a forth option of others - please state.. That is how bias they are..

What to do? Hope for miracle loh..

Anw, building fund is coming.. Must pledge an amount that shows off my faith in God, so I can get a good job.. But then I really dunno what amount to pledge since I dun have stable income.. I dun work.. I get allowance, but my allowance is not fixed either.. My mum just randomly asks if I have enough money..

What if I pledge an amount that I cant even pay off cos I no allowance?
*Den you must have faith*
Say like easy only ah..

I think really ought to give according to your faith.. I mean pledging an unrealistic amount, later backslide instead of breakthrough.. Like cui ah..

But then again, I dun have alot of faith now also.. If i were to put a price on the amount of faith now, it would probably be like $2 a month? I mean I cant even fully trust God with a driving test, what more my future.. So how, pledge $2 a month lah?

How I wish I was like last time, when I had much more faith than now.. Disappointments get me.. But really can you blame? I know I'm not totally devoted, but you keep hearing stories of new believers who have drama in their life and they always make this prayer where they say if God you are real, do this for me and I'll believe in You, and somehow it always happens for them.. So of cos they believe..

Then what about me? I know I haven like fasted or prayed everyday for my driving tests.. But I still try my best to really believe that God will come true for me and commit the tests in to His hand.. But nothing happened.. In fact, it was worst than nothing..

Nvm, shall stop here.. Enough of complaining..
Well I have a new reader of my blog.. Frankly speaking, i'm glad cos really, no one ever reads my blog anymore.. So it's nice to know at least some one bothers to read what you write.. And just a FYI, I'm a guy who can forgive but cannot forget.. That's why I'm still harping over the driving tests.. and God.. Yea, I have a problem, you arent perfect either! :P

RSVP

2011-10-05T04:17:00.000+08:00

Well, I've been wanting to update my blog for a few days.. But I put it off cos I felt I might need something to do if I cant fall alseep on any other day.. TA DA! Today, or should I say Tonight, oh wait, it's morning.. hmm.. Whatever, I think it's messed up enuf that I cant sleep, I dun have to deal with this..

So.. I dun really know what to blog about.. I know I just wanna share the new cover by Boyce Avenue on the best song on the planet, ever - Coldplay's Fix You.. But I'll prob post it at the end of the post, which I still dunno what I want to blog about..

I guess there are a few things on my mind, but then again, I learned that these few things that keep coming up in my mind, are not worth mulling over.. For e.g friends or cg or friends..

Honestly, I gave up on my bunch of friends.. But not like I refuse to acknowledge them as my friends anymore but more like I dun wanna fucking keep being the one who initiates to meet up.. And it's not even a matter of being appreciated.. I dun need a pat on the back at the end of the event saying, well done, good and faithful Jerry..

I just need them to make this group their priority and not their backup plan.. To freaking reply to outings.. I really dunno why is it so difficult to get a fucking reply from them.. I know that some of them dont make our group a priority..

When a question is asked if say for example, 'Are you free on Wednesday for dinner?'. In their minds would be, 'Am I going out with this other group of friends on that day? Hmmm.. Nvm, shall wait till the date is nearer and see if the other group of friends invite me. In the mean time, I wont reply Jerry cos I dun feel like replying'

FUCK YOU!

It's so fucking annoying when people don't reply.. I'm not expecting people to reply like 10mins after I send a message, but they freaking ought to.. If not what is the phone for? U wanna reply 10 hrs later, u might as well throw your phone and stick to sending messages through pigeons.. i bet that would be faster than your phone.. And dun give the shit that you are busy and all.. You dun understand the word busy.. You are not Obama, you dont have the World to worry about, so dont act..

I'm sorry if I appear over emotional, but really, not replying a message really really really really irks me.. I hate it when I talk to people online and they suddenly go offline or go away w/o saying why.. I hate it when I message people and they take forever to reply..

A simple message to ask, ' are you playing soccer on saturday?', it doesnt need a formula to derive the answer.. If you have something on till late and cant make it, or you THINK you have something on till late and cant make it, then just say lah! People are waiting for your response and there you are thinking like u some prima donna ah, every1 must wait for u.. seriously wtf..

Kk enuf... Maintain abit..

Here it is.. Boyce Avenue - Fix You

In a word - Hopeless

2011-09-26T02:02:00.000+08:00

How I Met Your Mother is out again! Actually many shows are out again.. Two and a Half Men, Nikita, The Office, Modern Family and Big Bang Theory!! Awesome - That's right, the word made famous again by How I Met Your Mother..

For those people who have extremely good taste in shows and follows HIMYM series, you know who is Ted Mosby.. For those not so cool people that dun follow HIMYM, he is a hopeless romantic.. And this story is narrated from future him to his kids about how he met his wife, or to the kids - how he met their mother, thus the show name, How I Met Your Mother..

I kinda feel like Ted Mosby.. you know.. The Singaporean version..
Ted Mosby is this hopeless romantic who believes in "the one" or 'Miss Right'.. Exactly like me..

And then he goes on this search for "the one" by dating girls he felt could be "the one".. Kinda like me, just that I've not been so successful as him.. Yea, i admit I've been given the cold shoulder plenty of times when I tried to get to know girls alittle better.. So I'm not good at chasing girls, sue me.. But you cant blame me for the lack of effort..

And after so many failed relationships for him, he subconsciously stopped believing in "the one".. Kinda like me, after so many failed attempts to befriend, I subconsciously gave up looking for "the one"..

And after watching the new episode where Ted found his inspiration in an unlikely source - Barney, it made me think about my situation as well.. I'm so fixated in believing that I wont get attached till I'm like 30.. I dun believe I will find "the one" anytime soon.. I sort of gave up, resign to my fate..

Those that know me through the years, they know, they would describe me as hopeless in a word and hopeless romantic in two words.. That's how bad it is really.. All they hear from me is hoping to get attached, or missing the feeling of being attached and I've heard the same encouragement the exact number of times I tell them I wanna be in a r/s.. Which is freaking gazillion times..

It's always - "I'm sure you will find the right one soon", "good luck finding the one", "you are such a great catch, im sure plenty of girls will dig you".. Oh yea, dun blink after reading it, I'm a great catch, believe it..

Okay, who am I kidding, if I am such a great catch then there would be a line of women after me already.. I read somewhere that said something like - if you are not attached, then there must be something wrong with you.. I'm not talking about those just out of a r/s and they wanna take a "break" while they have a line queuing up to be their next partner or the picky ones who cant seem to find their one in a line of gazillion candidates.. No, not them.. I'm talking about people like me.. People who are not attached cos they cant get any1 to fancy them and have no queue of candidates to chase them..

Yup, I know some of these people.. And I've seen some that are relatively pleasant looking, definitely dateable kind, but somehow not attached.. And from what I know and heard about them, they are a little weirder than the normal people that I come across.. DOES THAT MEANS I'M WEIRD TOO!!?!?#!#@ WTFFFFFF!!@!@!!!!!

Honestly, that would be the only plausible explanation.. FML..

On a side note, I recently went on a "date".. Not gonna reveal much but it was with a FEMALE friend - just to clear any ambiguous doubts.. Basically I had a crush on her but after knowing her i knew it wun work out cos of differences and that "date" proved my point cos I felt nothing for her even during the date..

My point? I dun really know.. I just wanted to mention that.. I guess I can conclude that it's always wasnt for the lack of trying..

Dun mind me, this ranting always happens when I'm near a deadline - exam or projects.. Yup, tml i gotta show this 350words report to my groupmates, current status - 0 words.. BEST!

Think it's apt that I end this post with one of the recognizable songs ever - Creep by Radiohead..
Since you know, I'm a creep according to some girls I've chased.. I'm a weirdo as well.. What the hell am I doing here - I need to start my assignment.. I dont belong here..
This video is supposedly sang by a homeless guy, I think it's a pretty decent cover, kinda like his "rock" voice, but forgive his guitar skills.. But extremely apt coming from this guy.. Enjoy!

Recognise

2011-09-19T12:54:00.000+08:00

I think it's safe to say Blogging has lost it's charm.. I mean, really, no one ever blogs these days.. It's either twitter or tumblr.. I guess I can be considered not up to date with technology since I'm not using either platforms to rant.. I dun find anything wrong with either platform.. Probably I'm too lazy to start using them, just like how it took a year for me to start using facebook - when poking ppl was lotsa fun!

I'm usually quite critical of new stuff like how I was during the facebook era.. I was like, 'What facebook?!? Lazy to go maintain an account lah' and ' Friendster enough already what.. Friendster is the future!'

No, i'm actually just kidding about the last part, I did not say Friendster is for the future..

But I think it's really cool that twitter gives you an option whether to follow your friend's twit.. or tweet? Whichever, cos it's really confusing.. Cos I mean look at facebook.. Seriously.. The things people post on facebook.. WTF - Who the fuck(in this case), do they think they are.. They are not scarlett johansson (btw you cld go find her REAL naked pic online as her phone was hacked) or Neil Patrick Harris (better known as Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother), who is really hilarious by the way, just check out his interviews on Ellen Degeneres show or Late Night Show with David Letterman..

I dun wanna see the freaking same posts on Mondays saying you have the Monday blues nor do I wanna see you say TGIF on Fridays.. It's already inferred that Monday blues happen on Monday and TGIF happen on Fridays.. I dun need you to remind me of it..

I dun need to see you complain about every single bad thing that happens your way.. I dun need to know you've missed 4 mrts in a row due to overcrowding and how Singapore ppl are stupid to vote PAP.. PAP won the election fair and square, PLEASE, move on.. Unless an elected MP slapped your face and you caught it on camera, please just shut up..

I dun need to know how stupid it is when Blizzard asked you to change your password for your World of Warcraft game.. Cos I dun give a shit! I dun need to know that you are dumb enough to pay to play for a game.. Unless you are gamer chick - Linda Liao, please dun bother..

I dun need to know every time Man Utd score a goal.. That's what soccer apps are for! And I feel embarrassed as a Man Utd fan to see arrogant assholes taunting on facebook.. If history has taught us anything (Liverpool dominance in the EPL ended), it's that no team can stay on top forever.. Just be gracious.. And celebrate only after Man Utd has won a trophy.. Not just a single match..

I dun need to know every place you've been to and checked in.. That's what foursquare is for.. Recognised the correct platform.. and I dun need to know every single thing you are doing or have done for the day.. But you just made the job of stalkers much easier..

Unless you have a brilliant video to share, some words of wisdom that you quoted from philosiphers or send a birthday wish to your friend, please, dun flood your facebook wall..

Seriously people need to recognise the correct platform.. Twitter is for rant.. And if you like some1's ranting, please, follow them on twitter.. Foursquare is for check-ins at places.. And if you wanna stalk some1, please, add them on foursquare..

And what's up wif celebrities taking themselves naked on their phone/cameras.. I dun get it.. First it was the whole Edison Chen thingy and Vanessa Hudgens and Scarlett Johansson.. Seriously.. Do they love themselves so much that they have to take photos of themselves naked.. Please people, if history has taught us anything, it's to never have naked pictures or sex tapes taken or stored at any time.. If your partner feels adventurous, tell him to go out w/o zipping his pants or her to go out w/o wearing any underpants, it's the same thrill..

Well, enough of ranting.. I wanna share songs from Boyce Avenue - Youtube band.. I think they make good acoustic covers of songs.. Their lead singer reminds me of John Mayer, cos he plays the guitar well plus he has a good voice.. And I kinda fell for Christain Perri's Jar of Hearts from their cover.. I think the cover is better than the original.. Quite sad for Christain Perri.. But oh well, if you want to, just click play.. I know I would..

God is not with me

2011-09-07T01:38:00.000+08:00

Guess what, I failed my driving AGAIN! 48 points this time.. Yup, I was so confident, this time, no problem.. But, I guess God had a different plan for me..

*So now want to blame God lah*

Well, Pastor always mentioned only God can allow bad things to happen on you.. So, isnt failing a bad thing? And din it just happened to me? So God allowed it then? So yea, I'm just stating the facts.. Plus it's the 2nd time I commit my driving tests unto God's hands, so far no good.. And I just so happened to see one of my facebook's acquintance post such a status, 'After I prayed for Godly wisdom, my parents died. After I prayed for focus on God, people blame me for not living up to their expectations. Next time better don't pray'. So next time better dun commit my test into God's hand liao..

WTF happened?

I cant exactly pin point something that caused it to happen.. It was sort of like a collection of mishaps and they just pile on top of one another to make me FAIL! So let me list the possible factors that contribute to this shocking result of the century..

1. Lack of uninterrupted sleep

In army I learned that having sufficient amount of sleep is not enough, you ought to have sufficient amount of UNINTERRUPTED sleep to be able to perform.. That's the key difference.. I'm not into bio science and stuff, I dunno the reason behind that, but I guess that's just the way the body works.. So the night before the test, I was awaken by the estate's blackout as I was aircon-less and fan-less.. Had to wait 30mins before the maintenance person came down to fix it.. So yea, it could have contributed to my inability to perform.. I'm not lying when I say, I felt lethargic and unable to focus the whole day..

2. Sudden loss of form

I was almost practising the whole week before the test and honestly, I was okay and definitely able to pass any day then.. But I dunno why, I just felt off form during test day.. Even before going for the test, I had practice at circuit and I was making mistakes that I've hardly made and I just felt so tired and lethargic and unable to concentrate..

Worst part was, when the test started, I was freaking nervous, I drove like I just started learning driving, when in fact, I had over 20+ freaking lessons already.. I have no idea why I was so nervous.. I mean during the first test when I had 66 points, I drove with such confidence and peace.. But there and then, I was overaccelerating, releasing clutch too slowly, braking too hard.. Like some noob lah.. Really CMI.. It was really one of those out of 10 times, 9 times I'll be confident and only that 1 time I will cock up and being the suay cock that I am, that 1 time had to happen on my test day..

3. Fucked up Tester

Yup, I'm sorry to report, I din have a leniant tester this time despite my apparent need for them to take me cos like I said, God din want me to pass.. This tester may not be as strict as my first one, but I mean come on, who can beat my first tester who had a reputation of being a PITA (pain in the ass)? I mean u cant mess wif my first tester, he is gangsta with his street credit and stuff.. But now my 2nd one, in my opinion, he is more fucked up than my first tester!

He is definitely strict, but not SUPER strict.. The worst part is he is one of those assholes who just cant keep to himself.. He MUST tell the whole world how he is feeling at that moment in time, he cant just shut up for 30mins.. There I am, probably in the worst form of my life, making stupid mistakes like cant even keep on a lane properly(WTF), he MUST make a comment! And not just a one liner, short and sweet.. MUST come with sound effects.. He would go, "TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK! AIYO, GO OVER TO THE OTHER LANE AH!"

FUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! KNNCCB!! This guy must really drag him out of the car give him
1 x stone cold stunner
1 x w.o.r.m
1 x swanton bomb
1 x roll the car over him
EHHHH ZU YI LEHHHHHH!! MUST put in sound effect ah, cannot talk properly ah!

4. Dubious decisions

Yup, there were dubious decisions that he made, but even w/o them I would still fail, so I'm not that pissed off.. I mean if I did fail cos of them I would .... Neh mind, listen to the story first.. There were 2 dubious decisions and both were high points, 8 points each! Considering you must get maximum of 18 points, an 8 pointer means half the battle lost already..

The first one, wasnt really dubious lah.. More like I was damn swuay.. I was travelling at say 30-40km/h and my car was already near the line of the traffic light line and the traffic light MUST just nice turn orange at that point so it was near impossible to slam on my brakes.. If I did, it would be futile cos
1. Car stopped over white line, also kanna
2. If I suddenly slammed brake, what if the car behind me cannot react in time, *POM*, GG..

The real dubious decisions was this, any1 that drove to or been to CDC through the front entrance know about this curve bend that leads to that entrance.. And any1 that learnt driving knows that you dun travel more than 30km/h on that bend cos
1. You are not allowed to accelerate when you turn
2. There are always cars parked at the side which makes the bend more narrow and you need to be more careful to navigate

So there I was negotiating the bend, travelling less than 30 km/h and as I reach the end of the curve and towards the entrance, there was this FUCKING STUPID INDIAN woman who was standing in the middle of my side of the lane and not looking at the direction where cars are coming from! But neh mind, it wasnt a problem to me cos I wasnt travelling fast and I had time to react, or so I thought.. I applied the brakes and the car halted a comfortable distance away from her.. I would say almost the same distance I stay from a vehicle infront of me during a traffic light junction.. It was nowhere near her at all! But my tester seemed to disagree, giving his tsk(x1 million) saying I did not stopped in time for her.. WTF really!

So what, he expected me to slam the brakes plus pull hand brake so that I can stop further away from the woman? Just becos she got a shocked, and not becos my car was near her, it was becos she wasnt fucking looking at the road! And when she turned she saw my car stopping! Damn retarded.. Lucky for her, I din fail becos of her, if not I'd imagine I would have told myself I should have just banged her with the car.. Really si bei retarded! That was the only thing that made me mad.. I accept that I just wasnt good enough... THAT DAY..

Even my instructor was surprised I failed.. Haizz... What can I say? When things are not meant to be, no matter how hard you try, they still wont be meant to be..

I was really depressed after that.. During the first test, I knew it wasnt really my fault, so I wasnt really sad, just pissed that the stuff that happened were beyond my control.. Now, who else can I blame but myself? I just wasnt good enough.. It's worst knowing that you are able to do it but just din perform.. It says if God is with you, who can be against you? Right now, almost everything went against me, so God is not with me then.. All I can say is I have to be so good that even on my off form days, I am able to pass.. That's all I can do..

Screw You Murphy

2011-08-24T01:10:00.000+08:00

Did I tell you about the time when my life got fucked up by Murphy? No?
Let me tell you about the time Murphy fuck me up pretty well..

So, who the hell is Murphy? Well, you and me know him pretty well.. I cant say it's been a pleasure knowing him though.

Last week, was my premature hell week.. Cos I had two deadlines with just a day apart each other only.. So obviously I started the projects early, on Monday while the first deadline is on Friday.. I worked on the one that was due first, common sense. And I finished it on Wednesday.. So it's still good since I have Thursday and Friday and half of Saturday to finish the other one.

Everything went quite smoothly for the first project.. Not much hiccups..

Then...

I started the 2nd project..

I was slow to start the 2nd project, probably cos of the fatigue from the first.. But I knew I could definitely complete it in time.. So I started working on it Wednesday night.. Then Thursday passed.. And then Friday..

So I was working throughout the night on Friday since the deadline is Saturday.. Im talking like 4-5am in the morning, and there I am, trying to finish it up.. Then, the unthinkable happened!

............

I realised I was writing out of point! WA HG LAH!! NBCB@$*%#!!!%#
Saturday 5 am - realised writing out of point
Saturday 7 pm - DEAD-line

Less than 12 hours to write my shit.. I had to rewrite almost the whole project.. Though the word limit is 1,750 words, it was the longest 1,750 words I've ever written.. Those that have done referencing, I mean the proper referencing - Havard Referencing, not those where you just paste the website at the end of your document and call it a reference.. I'm talking about finding the authors' names, the title of the article, the journal it was taken from, the chapter, the page, using italic words at the right time.. It's really PITA (Pain in the ass)..

I raise my hand and admit that it is not my best work, but due to time constraint, I din really had a choice.. I mean I was working till the deadline! Din even had time to take a bathe before going out to submit! That's when Murphy comes in..

My printer was down, so I had to go to school to print it.. And it was partly my fault as I din find out what time does the school library close since it's a Saturday.. Partly it was becos, I DIN HAVE THE FREAKING TIME TO GO CHECK! So I cabbed down to school only to find that Library was closed and the computer labs were locked already.. FML moment.. Now How Brown Cow?

Called up my friend, he told me that he was at Clementi, going down to school to hand up the ASS-ignment.. Told him my situation, he told me he wld help me go Clementi Mall to see if there are any shops to print the file from my USB.. Took a bus down to Clementi.. Went to the shop to have it printed out.. It so happened ta=hat my friend saw his friend at the shop, and my friend's friend had just finished printing her file off her USB..

FYI, the rates are expensive compared to my school library.. I was 50 cent for the first piece then I think 20 cents for the following piece onwards.. Cant confirm the subsequent pieces, but definitely it was 50cents for the first piece.. My school's library lets me print a single piece, be it first or 15th or 1,000,000th copy at 5cents per piece.. But at this time, money is not an issue already.. 50cents per piece better than spending a few hundreds to buy a new printer at that moment.

So, this is the part where I "climaxed".

So I handed my USB over the shop assistant.. She asks me which documents I wanna print.. Directed her and there I was, talking to my friend, waiting to collect my documents.. Lo and behold, Murphy strikes! The shop assistant after several several tries, tells me they cant print my document as their printer cable has some problem.. And this was the same printer and laptop that they used to print my friend's friend's documents just 5mins ago! MUST LIDDAT LAH?!?

Then they directed me to another shop upstairs and thankfully it was able to print out!
But.......
It was freaking $1 for the first piece, 50cent for the subsequent pieces.. WTH! That's double the freaking price.. One might suspect that maybe those 2 shops are collaborating.. SMLJ really..

It was my most expensive project ever, taking in calculation the cab fee down to school, bus ride to clement and then the crazy rates for printing my document.. Yet, I dun think I can score well in this, what a waste of money..

So SCREW YOU MURPHY!

When you see my face, hope it gives you hell!

De Gea

2011-08-17T01:54:00.002+08:00

And so the premier league begun..

It was a bittersweet first week for me.. Man Utd's competitors all stumbled except Man City while Man Utd also won their own game.. That was the sweet moment.. Buttttttttt... De Gea really cannot stand la! Si bei jia lat really.. That was the bitter moment...

For someone who played against the likes of Barcelona and Real Madrid, he really look damn noob now sia.. Plus it seems like he just has very good agility. The really good GKs have good handling as well, like Van Der Sar, who gives an impression that the opponents' shots seem like they are very weak.. It gives a calming effect when you see your GK like tat.. Not a GK who makes every save seem like it was from point blank range and make exaggerated jumps or dives.. This projects an impression that the opponents are good..

Really lah.. Not that Lindegaard is damn good, but I think must really slowly integrate De Gea to the game and not just throw him in the deep end.. I will get heart attack soon if he continues like that.. Everytime Man Utd restores the lead that De Gea gave away, you can see the cameramen purposely showing De Gea reaction.. And his reaction is always a mini celebration, as if he breathe a huge sigh of relief, "WA HENNNNN AHHHHHH!"I'm sure he said the same thing, but in Spanish..

WA HENNNNNNNN AHHHHHHHH!

Rat Race? More like Dog Life

2011-08-11T14:30:00.002+08:00

Can you actually believe that it's August already?? Few more months to December and BOOM! Next year already.. Gosh, time really flies somehow.. And come December, I'll be doing reservist! FML moment.. After that, it's joining the rat race..

Honestly, it's not looking that optimistic at the moment, with the US credit rating dropped and the world's market all dropping in prices.. It's worrying for me as well, not because I play stocks.. But if this carries on to become a economic downturn, companies will start retrenching people, so what hope is there for me to find a job?!? All the repercussions of a "simple" drop in credit rating..

All I think about this days are really my life after studying.. Where am I gonna work?? Cos the BIG 4 is pretty bias to me.. They just go down to NUS or NTU or SMU to just grab the graduates there.. So what hope is there left for private uni like SIM?? Sure there are special cases, but like the term suggests by itself, SPECIAL case..

The way things work here truly justifies the saying "nothing is fair in this world".. It's not enough that students at local uni like NTU or NUS get government subsidies for their studies, they also get better facilities, better teachers, better food, better campus in short.. Now they even get secured futures?!? Like freaking everything served on a plate for them..

While the people here at SIM are like dogs.. Fighting for any crumbs falling off their plate.. Tat's the sad reality isnt it.. The rich get richer, the poor gets poorer..

Finding Fulfillment

2011-08-02T02:28:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure how true this story is.. If it's true, it's a great story! Kinda like the movie "P.S I Love You" but in a family way instead of a romance way..

Anw, here's the link to read:
http://www.matchmove.com/news/article/a-fathers-message-from-beyond-the-grave

I just wanna share a part of his message here.. Entitled - "A FATHER'S RULES FOR FINDING FULFILLMENT"

Be courteous, be punctual, always say please and thank you, and be sure to hold your knife and fork properly. Others take their cue on how to treat you from your manners.

Be kind, considerate and compassionate when others are in trouble, even if you have problems of your own. Others will admire your selflessness and will help you in due course.

Show moral courage. Do what is right, even if that makes you unpopular. I always thought it important to be able to look at myself in the shaving mirror every morning and not feel guilt or remorse. I depart this world with a pretty clear conscience.

Show humility. Stand your ground but pause to reflect on what the other side are saying, and back off when you know you are wrong. Never worry about losing face. That only happens when you are pig-headed.

Learn from your mistakes. You will make plenty so use them as a learning tool. If you keep making the same mistake or run into a problem, you’re doing something wrong.

Avoid disparaging someone to a third party; it is only you who will look bad. If you have a problem with someone, tell them face to face.

Hold fire! If someone crosses you, don’t react immediately. Once you say something it can never be taken back, and most people deserve a second chance.

Have fun. If this involves taking risks, so be it. If you get caught, hold your hands up.

Give to charity and help those who are less fortunate than yourselves: it’s easy and so rewarding.

Always look on the upside! The glass is half full, never half empty. Every adversity has a silver lining if you seek it out.

Make it your instinct always to say ‘yes’. Look for reasons to do something, not reasons to say no. Your friends will cherish you for that.

Be canny: you will get more of what you want if you can give someone more of what they desire. Compromise can be king.

Always accept a party invitation. You may not want to go, but they want you there. Show them courtesy and respect.

Never ever let a friend down. I would bury bodies for my friends, if they asked me to . . . which is why I have chosen them carefully.

Always tip for good service. It shows respect. But never reward poor service. Poor service is insulting.

Always treat those you meet as your social equal, whether they are above or below your station in life. For those above you, show due deference, but don’t be a sycophant.

Always respect age, as age equals wisdom.

Be prepared to put the interests of your sibling first.

Be proud of who you are and where you come from, but open your mind to other cultures and languages. When you begin to travel (as I hope you will), you’ll learn that your place in the world is both vital and insignificant. Don’t get too big for your breeches.

Be ambitious, but not nakedly so. Be prepared to back your assertions with craftsmanship and hard work.

Live every day to its full: do something that makes you smile or laugh, and avoid procrastination.

Give of your best at school. Some teachers forget that pupils need incentives. So if your teacher doesn’t give you one, devise your own.

Always pay the most you can afford. Never skimp on hotels, clothing, shoes, make-up or jewellery. But always look for a deal. You get what you pay for.

Never give up! My two little soldiers have no dad, but you are brave, big-hearted, fit and strong. You are also loved by an immensely kind and supportive team of family and friends. You make your own good fortune, my children, so battle on.

Never feel sorry for yourself, or at least don’t do it for long. Crying doesn’t make things better.

Look after your body and it will look after you.

Learn a language, or at least try. Never engage a person abroad in conversation without first greeting them in their own language; by all means ask if they speak English!

Awesome!

Birthdays are good for you

2011-07-29T01:52:00.001+08:00

Well, my attempts to gather some feedback for my song has failed.. Guess friends cant be bothered these days.. oh well.. Life goes on..

Birthday is coming this Sunday.. And again, dun really feel the importance or significance of it.. My own birthday really slides down my own list of important things to do..

Let's see.. The list of things more important than my birthday.. There's
Attending class..
Playing soccer of any kind..
Digging my nose..
Remembering to wear a watch..
Change my guitar strings..

Think I've painted a really good picture already..

Maybe birthdays will be one of those things where you have those bell shape curves.. In the beginning birthdays are lovely cos of the presents and cakes.. Then midway you're like "never ever seen a gift wrapper ever" cos you never receive presents anymore or you dun bother making a fuss abt birthdays.. Maybe towards the end, birthday becomes enjoyable again when you see your sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters..

Definitely sounds right..

Check.. Check.. Check it out..

2011-07-22T23:28:00.000+08:00

Not sure who's reading my blog anymore since most I know have already stopped blogging or blogs with the same frequency as the Singapore Election..

Anyway, if you are "lucky" enough to chance upon this blog again.. Check out my new song.. It's a preview of my final product, which isn't done.. Right now I'm just recording a small bit to hear how the song sounds.. So appreciate your comments and criticisms.. Maybe I'll write an even better song out of it..

Lyrics is at the bottom of the music box.. Song is called "Hope"

It went on..

2011-07-19T01:58:00.000+08:00

Blogspot has been tracking my blogposts, and recently there's a rise in traffic for my post about Down PES in the army.. Im trying to imagine the link between that and the retarded recruit who tried to swam out of tekong.. HE CANNOT STAND AH?!?

It's so sad and at the same time ridiculous that he thought somehow he could have gotten away with it.. So what comes after swimming back to the Changi? Where's he gonna stay? Where's he gonna run? I hope he has a freaking good plan since reports suggest that he is from Raffles Instituition..

Somehow by doing that, he really showed that he neither has the brawns to survive army, nor the brains to escape from NS.. What has happened with the new generation?? Cant even take abit of suffering?? Too pampered?? Sergeant knock you down so you cannot go home and ask your mother to call in SAF for you like how she does when you in RI? Jiaaaaaaa Laaaaatttttt.. Worrying signs indeed that our future leaders are from these kinda people..

I dun like God at this moment in time.. I'm sorry to have said that, but being honest with myself here.. I just feel God is disappearing in my life when I need him the most.. Where was God when I lost my near to perfect job at Redbull? Where was God when I needed blessing for my results after putting much effort for exams?? Where was God when I needed just Saturday to quench my soccer cravings but instead I got a full day of lessons from 12pm-630pm?? Where was God when I needed a "cut me some slack" driving tester since I already had a lousy instructor??

In all those major events in my life, I felt God wasnt there.. Honestly, everything that could go wrong, went wrong.. And not like in the slightest way, but in the worst way possible.. Argh wth.. It's not like I'm on fire now, I have endless faith to trust God.. I'm in a vulnerable state, and this really isnt helping.. But oh wells, life goes on..

Yah right!

2011-07-13T17:27:00.000+08:00

I failed my driving.. I din get any immediate failures, but I got a total of 66 demerit points.. SIXTY-SIX!!!

Right now you must think I'm some hell driver, probably needs to go for like another 20 more driving lessons or be suspended from the road for 10 years or something like that.. But the reality is really far from that.. I can drive.. If I were to drive now, I'm confident.. Probably only my parking would be worrying, but it's what all new drivers face as well..

So why the fuck did I get 66 points? Did I freaking bang a elderly while he/she was crossing the road? Did I hit a dog crossing the road and laugh out loud after running over it?? Or did I just continuously striking the kerb xi zup gor times? No no, I assure you it was nothing of that sort..

The first reason would be that I had a fucked up tester.. Second would be my instructor is fucked up.. Third would be that when I needed a miracle, God din come true for me.. But I'm seriously getting sick and tired of it.. I just feel God wants to prank my whole life.. So wtf.. Just forget it.. I know I'm not poor or what not, and I'm thankful for that.. But really, when my "big" moments come, and I really need that bit of blessing from God, it always never appear.. I'm always that "lucky" to fail something or do badly in that something when wif a bit of "luck", I could have easily passed it..

Met Abel just before I went for my driving, so he saw my tester.. Coincidentally, he was also going for his test.. After exchanging scores, wif him also failing due to 2 immediate failures, he told me he thinks my tester is the fucked up guy... Apparently, there's this famous Ke Leng Kia, Indian fucker, whatever you wanna call him, that is damn strict, wound up too tight.. I safely assumed it was my tester cos one, of the results I got, and two, there arent many Indian testers around anyway..

3/4 of the points I chalked up was becos I din do my "safety" checks.. "Safety" becos it's really not that safe when you have to check like xi zup gor things when you wanna do a simple thing like stopping the vehicle or moving off from a stationary position.. By the time you perform all the "safety" checks to brake, you already buang the car infront..

On a serious note, what I really feel is fucked up.. It's one of those situations whereby, you cant do a task cos you're not even taught how to do it! I wasnt even taught by my instructor to perform the safety checks, so obviously I never performed them.. I can safely say I din perform 3/4 of the safety checks that he marked down cos I din know about it.. The other 1/4, he was just being an asshole.. My head was turning left and right like a freaking retard already, yet he still say I never perform safety check.. WTF..

The other 1/4 of my demerit points, are either my own stupid mistakes or my instructor taught me wrong.. Which is still fucked up.. My instructor told me to follow this rule whereby if you hit 20km/h, you change to 2nd gear.. If you've been to the circuit, you will understand what I mean when I say there's not even a need to travel 20km/h.. One, it's small, two, you are surrounded by learning drivers also who may just slam their brakes anytime and cause you to fail also.. For me, I just travelled at a slow pace all the way, 20km/h and less.. But the fucked up tester said I drag the gear.. I did the exact same thing when I'm with my instructor, and he din say anything also.. So wtf, kanna saboh.. And like I said, when I need that bit of luck, maybe a more slack tester who wld overlook this kind of small thing, I get a fucking strict tester..

Then alot of people tell me this.. That when you go out on the roads, and tester ask you to change lane, you gotta do it fast if not kanna fucked by him.. Cos if you miss a chance to turn, you wont know when is the next time you get another opening to change lane.. So I already did this when I was learning with my instructor.. When I see an opening, just chiong.. I mean not those narrow opening where the car on the other lane is just right beside me then I just cut.. I mean it's like really open.. Confirm can cut in kinda open.. I would step on my accelerator to change lane which makes sense cos if I take my time slowly turn in, it would cos the car in the other lane to slow down.. But noooooo.. He said I change lane abruptly.. Wtf..

Honestly the feeling is fucked up.. Knowing that I can drive, even the tester that freaking gave me 66 points said so, but I din managed to get it cos of all the mandatory and useless things I din do, and not cos I was careless, but becos I wasnt even taught properly..

Then liddat who to blame?? Blame myself for getting a useless instructor? Blame my useless instructor for not teaching properly?? Blame God for not giving me any favor since EVERYTHING is done according to His will and bad things will only happen when He allows it to happen? So in the end, blame God la..

Ya right!

Change of Seasons

2011-07-10T18:32:00.001+08:00

Last day of holiday! School begins tomorrow.. Last Semester!

For the past week I have been catching up with the movies that I've missed back when they were out in cinemas.. Not that I would actually watched them when they were out in cinemas.. Cos my group of friends are a funny bunch.. We dont even watch movies together.. I really cant explain why.. But yst was an exception.. Finally watched Transformers 3! I really feared for the worst, that is waiting for the movie to be ready for download..

So in my "movie marathon" there were a few okay ones, like "Life as we know it" and "Faster".. Then there were the really bad ones like "The American" and "Buried".. There were the slightly better ones also, like "Easy A", "The Fighter" and "Social Network"..

The okay ones are the typical hollywood movies.. You know how the story unfolds or your typical movie with big names that makes it barely watchable. "Faster" featured "The Rock", so it was the typical action movie.. Guns n cars n chics n stuff plus it's The Rock.. Watchable..

The really bad ones like "Buried" or "127 hours".. OMFG! Really bad.. "Buried" is super budget to the max.. The story is abt this American guy captured n wakes up finding himself buried alive in a coffin underground.. And the whole movie just focuses on the freaking coffin.. Even when he's talking to a US agent who told him they took down his captors, they din even show a single gun shot or action that showed a US marine team taking down his captors.. Basically in short, the only face you see is the guy in the coffin.. The only scene you see is the coffin.. That's all.. For whole freaking 1.5hrs.. I was really shocked by how bad this movie was.. Plus the actor, is Ryan Reynolds, the guy who played Green Lantern.. I'm surprised he took on such a lousy movie.. For the money I guess..

Then there were the slightly better ones like "Love and other drugs".. It was nice to see Anne Hathaway's naked boobs.. Frankly, cos I think she looks damn pretty.. But that wasnt the whole reason why I felt it was a slightly better movie.. It was the story that really captivated me.. Hathaway plays a pretty lady with Parkinson's disease while the lead actor is this typical Playboy who sleeps around and never had a serious r/s, bla bla bla..

In short, they got together even though they said they were gonna be just friends with benefits.. Then the guy becomes rich and famous cos he started selling viagra for his pharmaceutical company.. (The movie is supposedly in the 90s where Viagra hasnt been developed yet) And problems start to develop in their r/s as the guy is afraid of the girl's Parkinson's disease getting worst.. They broke up for awhile cos of that and in the end got back together.. Yea typical ending..

So the question that came up in my mind was, would you fall for a partner that has a incurable disease? I think parkinson's disease would be a good example.. Since there are different stages.. The first stage according to the movie is like, the person would have some difficulty sometimes to open a bottle for e.g cos of their uncontrollable shaking.. Then there are the stages four to five where again, according to the movie.. The person cant even control their bladder.. And you start cleaning their shit n urine..

So say you feel in love with this person, like really, click on every level with the person.. But that person has level 1 parkinson's.. Knowing it will only get worse, would you still wanna be with that person??

Honestly, I dunno what I would do.. I mean I've experienced cleaning up shit and urine from my grandpa last time.. I know how it feels.. N it's not like they are gonna make a shit mess when you are relaxed and at your best mood.. It will probably happened when you are so shag, deprived of sleep, in the worst mood possible, and you still gotta clean up shit.. SHIT.. not spilled water or milk where there's no smell.. Freaking shit!

FYI, in the movie, the main actor asked this other older guy for advice cos the older guy's wife has parkinson's as well.. The older guy said, if he had a chance to do it all over again, he wouldnt have gone down that road.. He said dont be mistaken, he loves his wife, but it's too much for him..

So I really dunno.. Cos I know I cannot take it, but then again, if she's my whole world, I would think I'm able to do it.. But then again, wld it be too much for me??

Anyway, love this song I heard when I watched "Easy A"..
Change of Seasons by Sweet Thing

One day at a time

2011-07-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

Drving test next monday.. Haven even went in the circuit before.. Im trying my best to not go crazy cos really, it's almost beyond my control.. Of cos I can just F**k my teacher n then get another one, but due to the fact that the driving testers are all private teachers, I feel it's better not to affect my chances of passing.. After all, I'm sure driving instructors all like quite "gam" one.. For all we know, they have some conspiracy to earn more money by purposely failing people during the test.. It's really not hard to believe.. In soccer, got match fixing, so why driving cannot have test fixing? Both are also in to earn more money..

I'm really trying my best to maintain manner, of cos I'm freaking worried, I NEVER WENT IN TO CIRCUIT BEFORE! Circuit is 50% of the test sumore.. But I take comfort in knowing that Leslie who passed his driving first time, went in circuit, I quote from him, 2-3 times only..

I come to a quick conclusion that passing the driving test may well depend on your tester that day.. According to Leslie, his tester gan relac.. Came in, Leslie asked the tester if he want to listen radio.. WTF.. Never heard before.. The tester wore his shades, lean his seat back, and only start writing down stuff when he was on his way back to the driving centre..

Totally different from what Chit Yong experience.. He said his tester like write alot of things down like that, make him more stress.. So really, must see "luck" one.. Hope I have "luck" den..

Schools starting next week as well.. Same day as my test.. How I'm dreading to return now.. Nvm last semester liao.. Push on.. After that, a bigger shit to worry about.. Jobs.. I think I dread that more than studying now.. Feels like so difficult to kick start one's career.. Haiz.. One day at a time..

I think God can explain

2011-06-25T23:48:00.001+08:00

I find I always come back to my favorite song when I feel down.. Coldplay's Fix You.. I feel bad that I dun go service.. Though I haven been going that often anyway..

But I'm afraid... Afraid that one day I wun feel bad not going to service anymore.. If that day ever comes, I know I'm a goner already.. So far, the signs are showing that I'm gonna be one.. But really, is church suppose to be like that? Suppose to be so dreadful? So difficult to motivate myself to go?

Church for me was a place where all my troubles disappear.. Now, it seems like a place where all my troubles reappear..
Church for me was a place to meet God.. Now, it seems like a place where I meet strangers..
Church for me was a fun place.. Now, it seems like my workplace..

WAS..

If the saying was true, follow your heart, not your head, then goodbye church.. In conclusion, this saying sucks!

This song sums up everything in my situation.. Splendor - I think God can explain

It's alright, I'm okay

I think God can explain

I believe I'm the same

I get carried away

F**king perfect

2011-06-19T01:06:00.002+08:00

What if the one thing you enjoy doing the most turns out to be the thing that brings your life down? What would you do then? Stop doing it and feel like you've lost a part of your life? Or keep doing it and risk seeing your life go down the gutter?

Maybe I'm overthinking and being oversensitive.. But I feel that God is telling me to stop playing soccer.. One sign is the countless Saturday morning rains.. Cos I have 2 games to play at least on Saturdays now.. One street soccer in the morning and another field match in the afternoon.. Normally if it rains in the morning both games would be ruined.. Cos if it rains, the street soccer court doenst have shelter and the field would be water logged and becomes unplayable for the field match..

Now it so happens that it has been raining every Saturday morning! Exactly at the time I'm suppose to start/play soccer sumore.. And the weird thing is that, it may not even rain at all during the whole week, but the moment it's Saturday morning, you will start seeing dark clouds and after that rain already.. It's one of those, "too much of a coincidence" things already..

And it happened again today! Rained at 7am today but stopped just in time for my street soccer game.. So it looks like all set to go for street soccer.. But the field match was cancelled due to water logged pitch from the morning rain.. Happy only, at least enjoy street soccer.. Then something worst than the rain happened, I sprained my ankle.. And not the kind where you walk it off then you can carry on, it's those, lasting and need recuperation kind.. Sian!

I could also add that I saw my friend's ankle cui the previous week also.. Maybe it's a warning to me.. And when I din heed it, I sprained my ankle.. And the way I sprained it, it's not one of those, opponent was reckless then I kanna.. It's the damn lame kind.. I attempted to roll the ball forward, twice! But the ball seemed to be stuck to the ground, just a normal flat ground, and the second time I tried to roll the ball, my ankle got caught in an awkward angle with the ball when I tried to move forward.. Straight away I knew then, my ankle is a goner.. That is how lame it is.. And I was supposed to play soccer 3 times today sumore, all ruined by the ankle..

This rain thing started when I decided not to go service at Jurong West since it's so far.. And even though this week they moved back to Suntec, I wasnt considering going back cos I chose soccer over service.. But the sprained ankle spoiled all my soccer plans, cos I cannot play already! In the end, I went service..

So really, isnt it too much of a coincidence all this nonsense started the moment I decided to choose soccer over service? Or am I being over sensitive? You tell me..

Plus it's already bad that I chose soccer over service on Sunday already, and now I feel like a total stranger in my cellgroup.. Even when my cellgroup members that are going Saturday service today and ask to sit with me since I'm a Saturday service goer in the cellgroup, I told them I wasnt going service and sat with Hp and Matt by ourselves instead.. It's really from bad to worst already.. Like really, the word to describe my situation is "Cui".. Haiz..

Can I just pretend my life is f**king perfect then?

Timing Buay Swee

2011-06-14T23:00:00.000+08:00

The past week was interesting for me.. Some moments good, some moments not so good..

Hp, Matt and I went alittle crazy and started doing a "Post Bo Liao Status" for a day.. And I felt I really played my part to spam Bo Liao Status the whole day.. Cos really, some people really just post everything they are doing every hour, so I'm just trying to follow the example and of cos, not forgetting the exaggeration component.. Really post super bo liao stuff like wrapping a towel around my waist, and then later in the day, post that I wrapped a towel around my waist AGAIN! hahaha..

But despite having this day of foolish fun, bad things still never cease to spoil the moment.. Seeing a friend dislocate and fracture their ankle is no laughing matter. But my two friends still went to like my status when I posted about my friend, sick! hahha.. But really, it was a horrifying moment.. Seeing someone's leg "disfigured", it's just sick.. I tried to avoid any sight of it at first, but when I accompany my friend up the ambulance, I saw it.. It was just sick.. My other friend was rather distraught, din wanna play soccer the following day as we had match also..

The worst thing is that the guy that injure my friend, that's his 2nd time he caused some one to dislocate their leg.. Really, what the hell, like my friend said, he really deserved to go to jail.. It's freaking criminal.. We're not even in S-League.. There is no need to go in so hard or reckless.. It's just a freaking game! But these people dun get it.. That asshole should really change the way he play after the first time alr.. Suspended for life lah, best! This kinda asshole..

On another matter.. I really think God is pranking me.. Firstly, I joined a new CG last year.. Everything was going well till early this year, they said they were changing service to Sunday service.. That was a pivotal moment in my walk with God, and I can tell now, choosing soccer over service was a huge price to pay.. Now I'm neither close to God nor my CG..

Then suddenly, a chance open up for me to play soccer league on Sat instead of Sun, which means I can go service.. But God had a different plan.. 2/3 of my modules are on Sat.. Means I'm in school on Sat for 6 hours.. I definitely cant make it for soccer since from what I observed, they play around 3pm.. Then that leaves me with not going Sun service again if I choose to play Sun soccer..

So it's really like one moment I though a window of opportunity open and solves everything, then I go back to square one.. The exact same dilemma.. But now it's worst cos I cant even choose to play Sat soccer.. FML really.

This holiday saw me lose my Redbull job.. But another job opportunity came, though much more slack, the pay also lesser.. End of this week, I'm moving to Queensway.. So hard to meet up with the rest for supper already.. Hope I pass my driving next month, at least I can drive down when I move over there.. And my com crashed during my holidays sumore! Of all the times.. Since my mum is renovating the whole house, I dun dare to ask her for money to get a new com, cos renovations are really expensive.. Seems like everything came at a bad time..

No complaints

2011-06-06T00:52:00.002+08:00

First post since I'm back from China...

Shall not blog about it till maybe my sis upload the food pics! Cos pictures speak a thousand words..

Well, let me just say, life goes in a cycle..

Yes, there are moments when you feel heaven on earth, and the next, it's hell on earth.. It doesn't matter who you're with, or what you do, you will still go through this cycle.. So enjoy the happy moments while they last, tough out the bad moments when it comes and you'll do just fine..

Some may feel the bad moments are longer than the happy ones, what can I say? Some just have a more blessed life than others.. If yours isn't, then just suck it up, no point grumbling about it..

I feel bad not going service this week, and I forsee next week as well.. Service at Jurong West is really a challenge.. More so when you're going down all alone and coming back all alone as well.. So if this was a test, I failed it, badly.. Sorry if I'm not as committed as I make myself to be, I dun feel strong or connected at all..

Which leads me to my next point.. CG.. Yep, I'm gonna say it.. I thought of changing CG.. I know, it's what I feared the most.. I'm becoming one of those idiots who have to eat my words.. I remember saying this was the best decision of my life, but I cant say the same for now.. But at least I can say I haven regretted joining this CG..

Cos when I reflect back, I have myself to blame.. I decided to stick with soccer on Sunday instead of joining CG for Sunday service.. I cannot blame anyone except myself for that decision.. I cannot then direct any blame to anyone for feeling left out in the CG, like an outsider.. When I stopped moving, the CG kept moving, as simple as that.. So I gotta live with my decision, stop complaining..

But anyway, Sunday league is ending in a month's time.. And I just joined another Saturday league.. So I'll be back with my CG soon.. Back to the "new friend" feeling when I returned, I'm positive of it.. No complaints..

Bai Bai

2011-05-25T16:23:00.002+08:00

Flying off to China, Shenzhen.. See u folks next monday!

I'm Mr. Brightside

2011-05-24T02:30:00.001+08:00

Another sleepless night.. It's nights like this that makes me wanna go "gan f**ked up"..

Going to work tomorrow at Singapore National Eye Centre for a one day kinda job.. Supposed to wake up at 645am, and now it's 2am.. Not sure the time after I end this post, but one things for sure, SHAG TOMORROW!

There are certain things I will never ever understand in my life.. And I dun think I ever will understand them.. Honestly, now my life isnt exactly a smooth sailing ship or a bed of roses.. It isnt exactly Tsunami bad as well.. I guess if I count my blessings, I would probably feel a little better about my situation..

Financial wise, totally cui.. Zero income.. This is happening during my holiday sumore.. What a great time for this to happen.. Totally zero savings now as all my money went to driving lessons and just surviving already.. Just as I had predicted months ago, I would not be needed in Redbull anymore and true enough, I have only been to work once this whole month, even though I am having my holidays now..

Then again, if I count my blessings, my sis is helping to sponsor rest of my driving, while I'm back to taking allowance from my mum.. But I'm prudent about my spending now, eating at home whenever I can and not doing any online shopping anymore.. Plus I can even go China for holidays.. So I'm not that bad..

CG wise, still feels like a stranger even though it's been half a year with the CG.. Even thoughts of changing CG has entered my mind now.. But I dun really wanna entertain those thoughts.. Going through the process of getting to know people again is so tough..

Then again, the CG is really very loving and positive.. Just that it feels like a square peg trying to fit in a circle hole..

Friends wise, we're not as close anymore compared to last time.. From a weekly meet to a monthly or bi-monthly meet up..

Then again, it's not like they are lost forever like how Nicky is.. We're all still open to meeting up whenever free..

Relationship wise, still nothing.. Not even close to anything like a relationship.. Sure there were potential targets, as those closer to me will know.. It looked so optimistic at one point.. Then suddenly, it just dropped to nothing right now.. It was just as I predicted, nothing lasts forever..

Then again, I had experience some sort of "chasing" in the past month or so.. I thank God for it and I told myself to enjoy it while it lasts, which I did.. So no regrets..

Spiritual wise, it's not like I'm back on fire again.. I'm even contemplating if I should go service for the weeks that we are back at JW.. As you all know I'm attending different service from my CG due to soccer commitments.. So I've experienced the "pain" of just going to service and leaving straight after that.. Really not fun.. And it wun be any more fun when service is at JW..

Then again, I have started to "purify" myself by getting rid of sins in my life.. I know God sees it.. I know he is pleased with me.. That is enough for me already..

So really, many things I can complain about..Then again, many things I can thank God for.. Shall I look at my situations half empty, or half full? Saying it is easy, but I'll do my best to look on the bright side, cos I'm Mr. Brightside..

One of nicer songs of this world.. The Killers - Mr Brightside

Enjoy!

Reality - Worst game ever

2011-05-20T07:36:00.001+08:00

Reality is a cruel bitch.. My reality that is.. When it's exams or project deadlines, oh how you wanna hit the bed so badly but you cant cos no matter how many hours you are gonna sleep, if the exam isn't cleared or the project isn't submitted, you still gotta do it.. And falling asleep then is so easy.. Just hit the books or start the research and you immediately could get the sleepy feeling..

So it's pure irony when I tell you now, that I cant seem to sleep much during my holidays. I've been sleeping at around 12-1am every night and waking up at around 9-10am.. Which is okay, but what I really want is to sleep in.. So came yesterday, when I woke up at 8am.. And today, 6am.. It's a joke really, not the funny kind but in the sickest way.. I feel I'm letting down all those who are sleep deprived by not being able to sleep much when I can..

I cant really pint point the reason for this episode.. Maybe it's my cousin loud snoring.. Then again, maybe it's just me.. But I'm pretty sure it's a mix of both.. The worst part is that my cousin went to remove his large tonsils cos they were blocking his airflow to the body, so by right, his snoring should stop also, but it didn't. Maybe it does help his airflow now, but it really doesnt show with all that loud snoring..

So here I am, freaking 7 am, up and blogging.. Lame..

Well a couple of things are on my mind.. but I feel they're those "time will tell" situations, so whining or pondering about it won't help, if you understand what I mean.. One of them is CG.. Yup, even though I changed, thought it was the best decision of my life, then here I am again, back to square one, with doubts again.

I feel like a fish out of water sometimes when I'm with them.. Maybe it's the mandarin speaking culture there, then again maybe it's just me, as always.. But one thing I know is that I lack a "partner" I can fall back on in there.. So far in the various CGs I've been in, one particular trend that helped make my church life better was having a "partner". Not literally a life partner, but more like a BFF.. Back in Angie's CG, it was easy, the whole gang of SHSS was there.. Then when it split to Eric's, Hp and Qianhua was there.. Then again when it split one more time to Samantha's, Celine was there.. And after moving to Timothy's, Matt and Amos was there.. But right now, I cant name one my bff.

I'm not sure if there's a guide that says " Survival in CG" with a point, "have a bff with you", cos to me, that's what I really need right now. There is only so much small talk I can talk or the CG can talk for that matter.. And after that, all will fall back into their "bffs" to resume their normal conversation.. But to me, when everyone does that, I'll be like the wandering soul with no where to turn to, walking alone.. I dun blame any of them for my situation, I'm weird, I'm slow to open, I know myself. I dun even blame myself for it, I just accept it and live with it.. No point insisting just to fit in and then lose yourself.. I'm okay with walking alone till I find my "partner"..

That also explains my attachment to my soccer team.. Soccer on Sunday is probably the reason for my lack of integration in the CG.. But then again, I feel so much happier when I play soccer on Sunday, no disrespect to God. It's the activity that drives me on, soccer is my passion.. I could wake up early to play soccer, but cant really wake up early to go to a church service, again no disrespect.. Between the evening church service and soccer, I would definitely choose church service though.. I also feel more accepted and needed in my soccer team compared to CG.. Maybe it's the lack of defenders in the team, but then again, the conversations I have with my teammates are so much more better than my CGs!

So in an ideal world, I would be sleeping on my bed now, having the perfect dream..
In an ideal world, I would be loving my CG so much, having the time of my life..
In an ideal world, my soccer wont clash with church as well..
But in reality... Reality is a bitch..

Just wanna make a special shoutout to Matt.. Thanks for all the advices man.. When I'm in to deep, and I really need an opinion, you've provided it.. Thanks man... Fingers crossed for my situation, dun wanna talk much about it here, cos I dun wanna "jinx" it.. Haha..

Perfect Accident

2011-05-14T14:25:00.000+08:00

Favorite song of the moment..
Jesse Labelle - Perfect Accident

Some signs are made, while some are sent

To me you're just a perfect accident

Could not have planned or understand

But you were just the perfect accident

ISTJ

2011-05-12T01:48:00.001+08:00

I just realised I'm a ISTJ personality type! I realised when you do personality quiz, you gotta do it slowly and take time to truly answer the questions.. So I did, and I got ISTJ personality.. So much for thinking I was an ISFJ.. ISTJ definitely suits my description more.. For one, ISTJ hobbies include playing computer games and watching sports events while ISFJ hobbies include reading and arts appreciation.. I think I'm almost in the middle actually, I'm logical, but yet with a soft spot for feelings.. A gamer but yet a guitar player.. Anw, here goes..

ISTJ Portrait

As an ISTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically.

ISTJs are quiet and reserved individuals who are interested in security and peaceful living. They have a strongly-felt internal sense of duty, which lends them a serious air and the motivation to follow through on tasks. Organized and methodical in their approach, they can generally succeed at any task which they undertake.

ISTJs are very loyal, faithful, and dependable. They place great importance on honesty and integrity. They are "good citizens" who can be depended on to do the right thing for their families and communities. While they generally take things very seriously, they also usually have an offbeat sense of humor and can be a lot of fun - especially at family or work-related gatherings.

ISTJs tend to believe in laws and traditions, and expect the same from others. They're not comfortable with breaking laws or going against the rules. If they are able to see a good reason for stepping outside of the established mode of doing things, the ISTJ will support that effort. However, ISTJs more often tend to believe that things should be done according to procedures and plans. If an ISTJ has not developed their Intuitive side sufficiently, they may become overly obsessed with structure, and insist on doing everything "by the book".

The ISTJ is extremely dependable on following through with things which he or she has promised. For this reason, they sometimes get more and more work piled on them. Because the ISTJ has such a strong sense of duty, they may have a difficult time saying "no" when they are given more work than they can reasonably handle. For this reason, the ISTJ often works long hours, and may be unwittingly taken advantage of.

The ISTJ will work for long periods of time and put tremendous amounts of energy into doing any task which they see as important to fulfilling a goal. However, they will resist putting energy into things which don't make sense to them, or for which they can't see a practical application. They prefer to work alone, but work well in teams when the situation demands it. They like to be accountable for their actions, and enjoy being in positions of authority. The ISTJ has little use for theory or abstract thinking, unless the practical application is clear.

ISTJs have tremendous respect for facts. They hold a tremendous store of facts within themselves, which they have gathered through their Sensing preference. They may have difficulty understanding a theory or idea which is different from their own perspective. However, if they are shown the importance or relevance of the idea to someone who they respect or care about, the idea becomes a fact, which the ISTJ will internalize and support. Once the ISTJ supports a cause or idea, he or she will stop at no lengths to ensure that they are doing their duty of giving support where support is needed.

The ISTJ is not naturally in tune with their own feelings and the feelings of others. They may have difficulty picking up on emotional needs immediately, as they are presented. Being perfectionists themselves, they have a tendency to take other people's efforts for granted, like they take their own efforts for granted. They need to remember to pat people on the back once in a while.

ISTJs are likely to be uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others. However, their strong sense of duty and the ability to see what needs to be done in any situation usually allows them to overcome their natural reservations, and they are usually quite supporting and caring individuals with the people that they love. Once the ISTJ realizes the emotional needs of those who are close to them, they put forth effort to meet those needs.

The ISTJ is extremely faithful and loyal. Traditional and family-minded, they will put forth great amounts of effort at making their homes and families running smoothly. They are responsible parents, taking their parenting roles seriously. They are usually good and generous providers to their families. They care deeply about those close to them, although they usually are not comfortable with expressing their love. The ISTJ is likely to express their affection through actions, rather than through words.

ISTJs have an excellent ability to take any task and define it, organize it, plan it, and implement it through to completion. They are very hard workers, who do not allow obstacles to get in the way of performing their duties. They do not usually give themselves enough credit for their achievements, seeing their accomplishments simply as the natural fulfillment of their obligations.

ISTJs usually have a great sense of space and function, and artistic appreciation. Their homes are likely to be tastefully furnished and immaculately maintained. They are acutely aware of their senses, and want to be in surroundings which fit their need for structure, order, and beauty.

Under stress, ISTJs may fall into "catastrophe mode", where they see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. They will berate themselves for things which they should have done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. They will lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and will depress themselves with their visions of doom.

In general, the ISTJ has a tremendous amount of potential. Capable, logical, reasonable, and effective individuals with a deeply driven desire to promote security and peaceful living, the ISTJ has what it takes to be highly effective at achieving their chosen goals - whatever they may be.

ISTJ Careers

Whether you're a young adult trying to find your place in the world, or a not-so-young adult trying to find out if you're moving along the right path, it's important to understand yourself and the personality traits which will impact your likeliness to succeed or fail at various careers. It's equally important to understand what is really important to you. When armed with an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and an awareness of what you truly value, you are in an excellent position to pick a career which you will find rewarding.

ISTJs generally have the following traits:

Value tradition, security, and peaceful living

Will work long and hard to fulfill duties

Can be depended on to follow through on tasks

Loyal and faithful

Stable, practical and down-to-earth

Family-minded

Dislike doing things which don't make sense to them

Dislike abstract theory, unless they see the practical application

Natural leaders

Prefer to work alone, but work well in teams when necessary

Extremely observant, they take in facts via their senses and store them internally

Vast, rich inner store of facts which they rely on to understand problems which they encounter in their lives

Profound respect for facts and concrete information

Make decisions objectively, applying logic and rational thinking

Dislike change, unless they are shown it's benefit in a concrete way

Have strong opinions about the way things should be done

Appreciate structured, orderly environments

Have very high standards for their own behavior and the behavior of others

Not naturally in-tune with other people's feelings

Able to accomplish almost anything if they put their minds to it

Community minded "good citizens"

ISTJs have one character trait which puts them at a definite advantage in terms of career success - Perserverance. An ISTJ can do almost anything that they have decided to do. However, there are areas in which they will function more happily and naturally. An ISTJ will do best in a career in which they can use their excellent organizational skills and their powers of concentration to create order and structure. ISTJs seem to fit extremely well into the Management and Executive layer of the corporate business world.

The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an ISTJ. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.

Possible Career Paths for the ISTJ:

Business Executives, Administrators and Managers
Accountants and Financial Officers
Police and Detectives
Judges
Lawyers
Medical Doctors / Dentists
Computer Programmers, Systems Analysts, and Computer Specialists
Military Leaders

ISTJ Relationships

The ISTJ's word is as good as gold, and they honor their commitments faithfully. They believe that to do otherwise would be nothing less than a breach of honor and trustworthiness. Consequently, they take their vows very seriously, and once they have said "I do", that means they are bound to the relationship until "death do us apart" or otherwise. ISTJs are driven to fulfill their responsibilities and duties, and will do so with tireless effort. They will do their best to meet the obligations presented by the different relationship roles which they play during their lives, i.e. spouse, parent, offspring, etc. They may have difficulty showing warmth, but they frequently feel it in abundance, and most develop the ability to show it through sheer effort. If nothing else, the ISTJ holds the gold medal of all the personality types for Effort. They will put forth tremendous amounts of effort to accomplish goals which are important to them. If healthy relationships are among these goals, you can bet that the ISTJ will do everything that they can to foster and maintain healthy relationships.

ISTJ R/S Strengths

Honor their commitments
Take their relationship roles very seriously
Usually able to communicate what's on their minds with precision
Good listeners
Extremely good (albeit conservative) with money
Able to take constructive criticism well
Able to tolerate conflict situations without emotional upheaval
Able to dole out punishment or criticism when called for

ISTJ R/S Weakness

Tendency to believe that they're always right
Tendency to get involved in "win-lose" conversations
Not naturally in-tune with what others are feeling
Their value for structure may seem rigid to others
Not likely to give enough praise or affirmation to their loved ones

ISTJ as Lovers

ISTJs are committed, loyal partners, who will put forth tremendous amounts of effort into making their relationships work. Once they have made a commitment to a relationship, they will stick with it until the end. They gladly accept their duty towards fulfilling their role in the relationship. ISTJs are generally willing and able to do anything which they have defined as a goal. So, if maintaining a good relationship is important to the ISTJ, they are likely to have a good relationship. If they have not added this goal to their internal "list" of duties, they are likely to approach the relationship in their "natural" state, which is extremely practical, traditional, and structured.

Sexually, the ISTJ is likely to approach intimacy from a physical perspective, rather than as a means of expressing love and affection. They usually have a problem expressing their deepest feelings, even though they may be very strongly felt. They will expect sex on a relatively scheduled basis, and are likely to honor traditions regarding gender role-playing. Male ISTJs will assert their perspective on their partners, while female ISTJs will tend to follow along with what their male counterparts want (although they will be uncomfortable with anything extremely out of the traditional norm).

ISTJs do not feel threatened by constructive criticism or conflict situations. When faced with criticism, the ISTJ is likely to believe that their point of view is correct. They have a tremendous amount of respect for Facts, and base their opinions on known facts and logic. Consequently, they have a hard time seeing the viability of viewpoints which don't match their own. When the ISTJ gets involved in a disagreement over a point, they usually begin to attempt to recruit the other person over to their own point of view, fully believing that they are right, and that the other individual simply needs to understand the facts of the situation. In such situations, the ISTJ may or may not be right, but their confidence in their own "rightness" can shake the confidence of others involved. This habit can quickly turn conversations into "win-lose" situations, and can present a special problem in intimate relationships. While they may inadvertantly shake the confidence of their colleagues with their "I'm right" approach, the same behavior may cause serious issues within their intimate relationships. The ISTJ's constant assertion of "rightness" may send a message to their mates that they do not value their opinions. If the ISTJ has a mate with a strong Feeling preference, they may inadvertantly wreak havoc with their self-esteem, since Feeling individuals are extremely sensitive to conflict and criticism, and are especially vulnerable in their intimate relationships.

Since ISTJs make decisions using the Thinking function (rather than Feeling), they are not naturally likely to consider their mates feelings and emotions in daily living. This may be a problem if their mates have the Feeling preference, since Feeling individuals usually expect a lot of positive affirmation, which the ISTJ does not naturally communicate to them. The ISTJ needs to remember that others may need to hear that they are loved and valued, even if the ISTJ doesn't need to hear this themself.

ISTJs are generally very capable and efficient at most things which they endeavor. Consequently, their mates are likely to hold a good amount of respect for them. Daily concerns are likely to be well-provided for by the ISTJ. If other concerns, such as emotional needs, are pointed out to the ISTJ as important issues for their mates, the ISTJ will rise to the occasion and add the task of addressing these needs to the internal "list" of duties. Since the ISTJ is so willing to work hard at issues, and so tireless at performing tasks which they feel should be done, the ISTJ generally makes a wonderful, caring mate who is willing and able to promote a healthy, lasting relationship which is also a partnership.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, the ISTJ's natural partner is the ESFP, or the ESTP. ISTJ's dominant function of Introverted Sensing is best matched with a partner whose personality is dominated by Extraverted Sensing.

ISTJ as Parents

ISTJs are faithful and devoted parents who can be counted on to put forth their very best efforts towards raising their children in positive, comfortable, secure homes, and to promote their growth in such a way that they will become secure adults who know their place in life within our society. Such is the greatest goal of an ISTJ parent toward their child.

Along the path towards this goal, the ISTJ expects that their children honor their traditional familial roles. As parents, they demand respect and authority from their children. They willingly accept their parental role of provider and guardian. Once the ISTJ becomes a parent, it becomes a "given" that they will perform all of the duties associated with parenthood, and they will do so without grudge or burden. However, they expect that their children give them their due respect in return, and will have little patience with disrespectful behavior.

When it comes to giving punishment or discipline, the ISTJ will be able to do so when necessary without too much internal trauma. They see it as their duty to teach their children when they've done wrong, and so will administer the punishment in the name of the greater cause of doing their duty towards their children. Not to imply that the ISTJ will enjoy disciplining their children, they simply will put their duties before their personal feelings.

The ISTJ is likely to have a problem giving a lot of positive affirmation and support to their children. Having very high expectations for their own behavior and the behavior of others, the ISTJ often forgets to give praise when praise is due. All children need positive support as they find their place in the world, and this is especially true for children with the Feeling preference, who benefit tremendously from positive affirmation, and suffer (sometimes tremendously) in its void. The ISTJ who recognizes sensitivity in their child should take special care to give them positive support and affirmation.

The ISTJ will create a consistent, secure environment for their children, with definite roles and boundaries. Although this may at times create division between the parent and child (especially during rebellious adolescence), it will generally promote the child's growth into a secure adult. ISTJ parents will be remembered and honored by their children for being good people who always tried their best, and for putting the needs of their children above their own.

ISTJ as Friends

Although friendships do not rank highest in the ISTJ's list of important relationships (whose duties and obligation to the Family rank above all else), they do have value these relationships and put effort into enhancing and maintaining them. The ISTJ is likely to choose to be around people who have similar interests and perspectives to their own, and are likely to not have much patience with people who are very different from themselves.

Although their usual mode of being is very serious-minded, ISTJs like to have fun and let loose. They like being with Extraverts who are optimistic and fun-minded, although the E's enthusiasm may eventually get on the ISTJ's nerves. ISTJs can get along with most other types, but they especially form solid connections with other Sensing Judgers. The ISTJ's respect for laws and traditions may make them unable to relate well to Sensing Perceiving types, although they admire their carefree ability to live for the moment. And conversely, the Sensing Perceiving types may see the ISTJ's need for structure as too conservative or scheduled for their tastes. ISTJs seem to get along well with Intuitives, although they cannot really relate to some of the Intuitives perspectives.

What does Success mean to an ISTJ?

People with the ISTJ personality type are serious, methodical, analytical, and hard-working. They store knowledge gained from their experiences, and use this knowledge to tackle new problems and ideas. They will work a problem through to its identified conclusion. They work towards defined goals; their analytical objectivity gives them the tendency to make goal-oriented decisions that are not waylaid by the concerns of individuals. They're uncomfortable with ideas that are completely new to them, or that are totally theoretical in nature. Since they have no direct experience with the new concept, they have no tools for knowing how to deal with it or what to think about it. They need to get the framework for a new concept before they're able to deal with it. An experienced ISTJ is usually a very capable person, and makes an excellent manager. ISTJs have great value for the "tried and true" approach, and are reluctant to adopt new systems until direct experience proves the validity of the new system. They internalize and value the rules and structure of the society in which they live, and disapprove of behaviors that go against these rules. ISTJs highly value the cornerstone institutions of society such as Family, Work, and Church. Their hard-working, dedicated nature is especially well-suited for holding up such institutions. An ISTJ's feeling of success depends upon being able to use their experience for the benefit of an institution, and also upon the level of structure and lack of chaos in their life, and in the health and welfare of their family or other social structure.

Allowing Your ISTJ Strengths to Flourish

As an ISTJ, you have gifts that are specific to your personality type that aren't natural strengths for other types. By recognizing your special gifts and encouraging their growth and development, you will more readily see your place in the world, and be more content with your role.

Nearly all ISTJs will recognize the following characteristics in themselves. They should embrace and nourish these strengths:

Their desire to execute known systems against concrete facts makes them happy to chunk through large amounts of routine work.
With their respect for rules and order, they value honesty and integrity and seek to live with these ideals.
An ISTJ has a "stick to it" attitude. They're not afraid of hard work, and will put forth a great deal of effort towards something that they are interested in. This persistence will help the ISTJ to achieve any identified goal.
The ISTJ's value for social structure makes them more interested in being social than is true for many Introverts.

ISTJs who have developed their Extraverted Thinking will complement their interest in their inner world of concrete data with an interest in the welfare of the rest of the world, especially with regards to upholding social systems and traditions. These ISTJs enjoy these very special gifts:

They will move beyond an expectation that others should follow rules into a dedication and willingness to work hard to uphold standards themselves.

They show a dedication to maintaining personal relationships that lends them a respect for individual differences.

They will use their inner store of facts for the benefit of an institution or society in general, rather than to satisfy their own interests.

The more they develop their Extraverted Thinking, the better they will become at strategizing. They will be able to brainstorm multiple possible solutions to problems.

ISTJs are often uncomfortable with decisions based on values rather than on objective criteria, but the more they develop their Extraverted Thinking, the more likely they will become able to use Introverted Feeling as a positive force rather than strictly a negative one. This will allow them to understand a value judgement that is based on personal perspective rather than social obligation.

Potential Problem Areas
With any gift of strength, there is an associated weakness. Without "bad", there would be no "good". Without "difficult", there would be no "easy". We value our strengths, but we often curse and ignore our weaknesses. To grow as a person and get what we want out of life, we must not only capitalize upon our strengths, but also face our weaknesses and deal with them. That means taking a hard look at our personality type's potential problem areas.

Most of the weaker characteristics that are found in ISTJs are due to their dominant Introverted Sensing function controlling the personality to the point that all other functions are being used to defend Sensing demands, rather than for their more balanced purposes. In such cases, an ISTJ may show some or all of the following weaknesses in varying degrees:

Excessive love of food and drink

Lack of interest in other people, or in relating to them

Occasional inappropriate emotional displays

General selfish "look after oneself" tendencies

Uses judgement to dismiss other's opinions and perspectives, before really understanding them

May judge others rather than themselves

May look at external ideas and people with the primary purpose of finding fault

May become slave to their routine and "by the book" ways of doing things, to the point that any deviation is completely unacceptable

May have difficulty communicating their thoughts and feelings to anyone

Explanation of Problems
Nearly all of the problematic characteristics described above can be attributed in various degrees to the common ISTJ problem of Introverted Sensing overtaking the ISTJ's personality to the point that all other functions become slaves to Introverted Sensing. A more "whole" personality needs to have a good balance between its dominant and auxiliary functions. For an ISTJ, the dominant Introverted Sensing needs to be well-supported by the auxiliary Extraverted Thinking function. If Extraverted Thinking exists only to support the desires of Introverted Sensing, than neither function is being used to its potential.

Introverted Sensing is a personality function that constantly gathers data and stores it in a sort of informational database to be accessed at will in the future. As the dominant player in a personality, it has the effect of constantly bombarding the psyche with facts to store. As something new is perceived, it is added to the vast warehouse of Introverted Sensing data. Introverted Sensing does not in itself analyze this data for meaning or connection--it just takes it in as information. In order to sort through and make use of this information, a judging function must be applied. It is the judging function that does the analysis and ordering of the data.

When Introverted Sensing is too dominant, or Extraverted Thinking is not developed sufficiently, we see the ISTJ using Extraverted Thinking to order the individual's world in such a way that Introverted Sensing can reign without interference. This may include dismissing the importance of relationships, or pushing away anything that threatens the ISTJ's highly introverted way of life. In this manner, Extraverted Thinking is used against the external world, rather than against the ISTJ's internal data. It is a defensive shield, rather than a useful filter.

The better, more "whole" use of Extraverted Thinking for the ISTJ would be to use it to order and evaluate its own rich store of data, and therefore generate useful solutions to problems and efficient systems. Like all types, most ISTJs will show some signs of this kind of weakness. This does not mean that they're hopelessly flawed. The real problems occur when an ISTJ personality has become so imbalanced that its owner is extremely selfish and unable to consider the importance or validity of anyone else's perspective.

Solutions for ISTJ
To grow as an individual, the ISTJ needs to focus on applying their judgement against information that they have gathered, rather than against single facts or ideas coming from others. Before judging, put all new data into the context of existing facts. Working with all of the facts at your disposal will greatly improve your ability to judge effectively, and will reduce the likelihood that you will become offensively reactionary and isolationist.

An ISTJ who is concerned with personal growth will pay close attention to the subject of ther judgments, and their motivations for making judgments. Are they judging something external to themself, or are they judging something within the context of their stored knowledge? Is the motivation for judging something to be able to understand its usefulness in the world, or to dismiss it? Too often, an ISTJ will judge something without properly understanding it, and with the intention of dismissing it. Seek first to understand, then to judge.

Living Happily in our World as an ISTJ
People of all personality types sometimes experience problems dealing with specific aspects of civilization and human interaction. For the ISTJ, problems are generally associated with being unable to tolerate behaviors that go outside perceived norms, and with not putting forth effort to meet others' emotional needs. These problems stem from building up the importance of the ISTJ's inner world and diminishing the importance of the external world. ISTJs who recognize that their knowledge and experience can be enriched by the synergy of other people's knowledge and experience will find that they can be committed to their internal worlds and still have satisfying relationships with others. The key to accomplishing this is development of their highest extraverted function, Extraverted Thinking.
An ISTJ who uses Extraverted Thinking to find fault externally rather than internally may become so strongly opinionated that they form rigid and unreasonable expectations of others. Their hyper-vigilant judgments about the rationality and competence of others may be a very effective way of keeping themselves at an emotional distance from others. This will preserve the sanctity of the ISTJ's inner world and lifestyle, but will reduce a lot of valuable input, arrest the development of their social character, and stagnate the development of the ISTJ's rich store of experiential data. In extreme cases the ISTJ may find him or herself quite alone and lonely.

More commonly, the ISTJ will run into trouble when they try to order and structure the outer world, rather than their inner world. Trying to structure people into a predefined, acceptable system is problematic. The personality types who value the unique individual will be offended by the apparent lack of respect for their person, and people with personality types who follow social values will want to be honoring their own system, rather then being forced to follow yours. Many people experience being controlled or manipulated as a form of suppression, and resist it. Eventually, they may harbor serious resentment against the suppressor.

Specific suggestions:

Take care to listen to someone's idea entirely before you pass judgment on it. Ask questions if necessary. Do whatever it takes to make sure that you understand the idea. Try not to begin judging anything until you understand the details.

Try to identify the personality type of everyone you encounter frequently in your life. Remember that Intuitives often have a wandering style of expression. Try to exhibit tolerance for this.

Before you being talking to another person, pause for a moment and look at that person. Take in that person's attitude and feelings at that moment. Be aware of the person with whom you are speaking.

Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve ISTJ Success

Feed Your Strengths! Do things that allow your excellent organizational and logical abilities to flourish. Explore the worlds of business management, accounting, and medicine.
Face Your Weaknesses! See your weaknesses for what they are, and seek to overcome them. Especially, strive to use your judgment against your internal store of knowledge, rather than as a means of disregarding other people's ideas.
Talk Through Your Thoughts. You need to step through your vast amount of information in order to put things into perspective. Give yourself appropriate time to do this, and take advantage of discussing ideas with others. Some find that externalizing your thoughts is a valuable exercise, as is expressing your ideas clearly in writing.
Take in Everything. Don't dismiss ideas prematurely because you don't respect the person generating the ideas, or because you think you already know it all. After all, everybody has something to offer, and nobody knows everything. As Steven Covey says, "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood."
Quench Your Desire to Control Others. Remember that most people do not want to be controlled. Again, turn your controlling tendencies inwardly rather than outwardly. You can only really control yourself.
Be Aware of Others. Take time to notice where others are coming from. What is their personality type? How are they currently feeling?
Be Accountable for Yourself. Don't blame the problems in your life on other people. Look inwardly for solutions.
Be Gentle in Your Expectations, and judge yourself at least as harshly as you judge others.
Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself and others by dwelling on the dark side of everything. Just as there is a positive charge for every negative charge, there is a light side to every dark side. Remember that positive situations are created by positive attitudes, and vice versa. Expect the best, and the best will come forward.
There is Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself. Sometimes it's necessary to take a risk to initiate change. Don't be afraid to do so when that time comes. In most cases, the obstacles and burdens standing in the way of your goal are not really there--they just exist in your perspective. Change your perspective--change your life.

KLKB

2011-05-12T01:28:00.000+08:00

I guess this counts as one of those sleepless nights.. Yep, updating my blog again on one of those nights.. Nothing to do, just come and here and talk cock, okay what!

Just started my driving lesson today! Really beginning my action plan to make this holiday a fulfilling one.. Today I learnt to drive on the road.. Used gears 1-4, handbrake, clutch, pedal brakes, accelerator.. I can totally tell, not easy.. Im learning at literally snail pace cos Im not allowed to drive fast, but I can sense the difficulty to drive already.. So many things to process at one go.. To stop at a junction and turn, you must look for incoming vehicles, release accelerator, clutch in, step on pedal break, change to lower gear, turn steering wheel, release clutch and step on accelerator..

Seriously, the releasing clutch part is the trickiest, cos it's not one of those clear cut things.. When you clutch in, it's straightforward, just step in.. But when you release clutch, fwah.. Must gently release the clutch so that your car doesnt jerk, and also slowly step on accelerator at the same time to move forward.. Hate that part the most..

But not sure how many times I'm gonna stall the engine.. So far so good, once today only.. Cos the instructor just ask me step break, so I step loh.. I din know step break also must clutch in.. Complicated stuff.. Really tests your multi-tasking skills.. Individually, everything thing is simple, but collectively, it's a nightmare..

And I know why people ka lang ka boh when they learn driving.. We all sat on a car before, and we have all encountered cars with L plates, and we know how irritating they can be cos they are so slow! So sub-consciously, I feel pressurized to go faster when I see a car behind, but cannot, cos I learning, then stress, almost KLKB! No joke really.. But overall, it was fun.. Hope to clear it once!

Good habits

2011-05-05T23:55:00.001+08:00

Sort of broke my "promise".. Supposed to be back blogging today, but couldnt take it 2 days ago, just had to blog to release my frustrations.. haha..

I can foresee this semester's results being really average, like a C grade or worst a D, just passed! Makes me depressed just thinking of that.. Or worst than worst! FAIL! Fwah... Cannot cannot.. I think I may just jump.. That's how un-confident I am about this semester's exams.. Gosh.. Suddenly I cant wait for this degree to end already.. 1 more sem, 1 more sem..

But now, I'm free! No more breakout of pimples or sleepless nights, depression over bad papers or my inability to study long hours, it's just rest and rest and rest! I wanna do a few things during this holidays, hope I'm able to fulfill it.. From the back of my head, i can think of 2 significant things I wanna achieve..

1. Learn driving
2. Cultivate good habits

Yea, I think I put off learning driving for the longest time... My PDL expiring liao.. Dunno buy it for what, never even drive once.. zzz

And secondly, good habits like not eating in front of the computer.. Yes, I have a habit of eating infront of the computer cos there's just so many nice shows to watch while I eat.. But studies have shown people who tend to eat and watch tv, eat more than a person who doesnt watch tv.. So yea, back to basics, eating at the dining table.. No shows to watch!

That's about it! Woo!

Fix Me

2011-05-04T00:29:00.002+08:00

Someone try to fix me.. I'm sad.. Exams make me sad.. Had a bad paper and it makes me feel sad.. It's days like this that I wish I had a girlfriend to hug and tell me things are gonna be alright.. Even though I won't believe her since I'm a person of logic, but it would make me feel much better..

注意

2011-05-02T18:29:00.000+08:00

Watch this space.. I'll be back after 5th May..

Help my disbelief God

2011-04-26T01:10:00.000+08:00

I find myself in an unfamiliar situation.. My close friends will know what I'm talking about.. Sometimes I feel God is playing a prank on me. You know, the situation where you keep asking someone for something, but you dun receive it immediately. In fact you wait damn long before that someone gives it to you. And just cos it will look comical from a 3rd person's perspective, that someone give you an extravagant amount like xi zup gor of the same thing that you've been asking for.. Yea, so that's how I feel at the moment.. But just for the record, I'm not complaining about what God has done, I'm thankful for all he's given, I'm just telling my story in another perspective.

But like what I tell my close friends, I will just enjoy the moment. Cos I know, no way will this last. Heck, I'm estimating by the end of next month probably this "dream" will end.. So JUST..

Anw, Exams are around the corner.. This friday! OMG! Im totally not prepared.. HG! I really cannot focus for more than 5 hours! CUI! Plus this semester the 3 subjects are all theory based.. Sian.. I din join an accounting degree to study theory.. I need numbers!!! Damn! This time really, God help me! I wanna believe everything is possible, help my disbelief God!

Me change..

2011-04-14T01:31:00.001+08:00

People change over time, I mean like everybody changes. I looked at the personality tests that I did way back in Nov 2010 and now on April 2011, it's different. I'm still a ISFJ as shown on the results on my blog now. But the percentages have changed. Probably I've change like abit, but still maintain my personality..

Legend:
Introversion is a preference to focus on the world inside the self. Introverts tend to be quiet, peaceful and deliberate and are not attracted to social interactions. They prefer activities they can do alone or with one other close friend, activities such as reading, writing, thinking, and inventing. Introverts find social gatherings draining.

Sensing refers to how people process data. Sensing people focus on the present, they are "here and now" people, who are factual and process information through the five senses. They see things as they are, they are concrete thinkers.

Feeling refers to how people make decisions. Feeling people are subjective and make decisions based on principles and values. They are ruled by their heart instead of their head. Feeling people judge situations and others based on feelings and extenuating circumstances.

Judging is the preference outwardly displayed. Judging does not mean "judgmental". Judging people like order, organization and think sequentially. They like to have things planned and settled. Judging people seek closure.

The more shocking one is my love language tests! haha.. I did a new one and I've managed to track my past results in my older posts thanks to the search function I installed in my blog.. LOL!
In 2006, my top love languages was receiving of gifts -8 and quality time -7.
In 2008, it was acts of service -11 and physical touch-9.
And now in 2011, it is acts of service-8 and physical touch -8

It's so weird that in 2006, is so different from 2008 and 2011 results.. What was I thinking then sia?? 2006 I was in poly, 2008, in army, and now 2011, in uni.. Did I changed alot during NS? haha.. weird..

But well, this is just a normal routine, a pre-exam "stress". Where you are so bored, you'd do anything except studying.. hahaha.. Oh well..

FWAAAHHHH JIAAAAAA LAAAAAATTTTT

2011-04-13T02:01:00.004+08:00

One moment I felt like I was at the top of the world, and the next, I felt like I fell in to hell.. Why do people change their behavior or thinking or intention or whatever you wanna call it, so quickly?!? Seriously.. But funny how things have turned out.. I just thanked God for them and leave it to Him..

Anyway...

Projects are over!!! Wooo!!! Exams are here!! Boooo!!

So reluctant to start studying.. Gotta start tomorrow.. But damn, not sure if i can find the energy to get out of the house.. Gonna study alone! Or maybe wait for a study buddy to drop from heaven.. I think the latter is unlikely though..

Anyway, it was decided that my useless group project partner is sacked from the group as of the end of this semester. My other good partner cannot stand already! LOL!!

It isnt enuf that the useless guy pissed me off so badly last semester that I, me, a guy who avoids conflict, can gather so much "hatred" within myself to actually tell him off about how useless and how irresponsible he was. He ended that semester "begging" for us to partner with him for this semester. But the phrase, a leopard never changes it's spots is very apt for him.

Last semester, he tested my fire by by totally pang sehing his part of the project work. Sum how he always believes that his excuses are genuine reasons.. Cos the day before submission, he did not complete his tasks and then he attended a wedding dinner.. He tot just by offering to "help", but not actually helping in any way, would make him an ideal partner.

This semester, probably he thought he has improved tremendously or something. Now he does his work.. Sents it probably a little over our own deadline that we set. So he tot he has fulfilled his part and was a good team mate.. Cos after he sent his work on the day before submission, he just disappeared. It never crossed his mind that editing or compilation or other tasks required by the project still needed to be done. It's not his job. That is our job. His job is to sent shitty work, make a living hell for the both of us, go out and enjoy with friends, and then enjoy the grades as well.

Cos once you open up to see his work.. You'll just wish that he never should have done anything at all cos whats the point of "helping" someone, when all you did was create more problems than there was in the first place.

I'd rather from the start, I'd just branded him as useless, and the work is split between me n my other good partner, so that I feel it is my obligation to do these parts that I am assigned. Comparing that to the work split between the 3 of us, and when I got his work, I felt like I'm doing extra work. You know, sometimes perception really matters.. Perception of fairness is especially impt when marks are shared between a group.

And I now know I have a higher tolerance level compared to my other good partner.. Cos my good partner was the one who said enough is enough and told me to abandoned him next sem.

Firstly, last semester, my good partner did not work with me and the useless guy for this certain module's project, so he did not feel the "wrath" of the useless partner like I did. So if anything, I should be the one who is more pissed off than he is.

Secondly, this semester, my good partner did not work with me n the useless guy for this other module again. So he did not get to feel the pek chek-ness of editing the useless guy work. And when we 3 are finally grouped together for this other 2 modules' 3 projects, my good partner did not edit his work till the last project.

So in total I edited the useless guy's work 3 times this semester, each time, I really felt like I've lost 1 year of my life after editing his work. It's so badly written that almost every sentence, I have to take time to understand what is he saying, and then think of the correct method of phrasing the sentence, cos his engrish is so bad! So when my good partner finally edited the useless guy's work on our last project for the first time, he cannot stand! 1 time only!!! And he lost it liao.. Cant imagine what wld happened if he had edited the previous few times..

Let me give you a sample of his work:

His words:"With this scheme, can help companies who got their cash or investments held up in productivity....."

What it means:" This scheme helps companies which have cash or investments held up in productivity....

His: "Income Tax Act is some forms of formal decision or law made by government in regards to..."

Means:"The Income Tax Act is made up by the Government in the form of formal decisions or laws in regards to..."

His: "After reading a number of articles on tax sparing credit, notice that the information provided is merely copy and paste from the official website such as IRAS"

Means:"The article from the IRAS website on tax sparing credit is being used by a number of other websites as well."

I can go on and on cos he had so many bad sentences that you would think maybe it was a dog that typed out that report. You may think I'm being mean by comparing him with a dog, but the fact is a dog is more useful than he is cos I believe a dog could make me more happy. Trust me, just edit one of his work, and u'll be joining me, criticising him as well.. He used the words " copy and paste" in a report!!! WHO THE HELL USES THIS KIND OF LANGUAGE IN A FREAKING REPORT! Seriously.. WTF!

Plus, there is just no effort to produce decent work. If it is just becos his english is bad, i gladly change it for him if I can see the point he is getting across is good, but honestly, that is rubbish work.. If I had time, I would just delete his file and restart a new one. But sadly, no, I dun have so much time or energy to do that. And he is wasting my time and energy already to edit his work..

So bye bye useless guy, torment somebody else next semester!

True Love

2011-04-08T01:24:00.003+08:00

Just made my brother angry.. Ooops.. Ate "his" dinner which i found in the fridge.. I mean come on, there was no name, nothing, finders, keepers man.. This is an impt lesson to you folks out there. Either put your name when you wanna claim the food or dun put your name and risk losing it, it's simple!

Last project to settle this semester! Deadline on mon and I'm 1/3 done already.. Cant wait for it to finish, and then a different stress will come, exams.. Zzzz.. Just get it over and done with already..

Anyway, I downloaded this fabulous Iphone App called "How Stuff Works". Interesting stuffs like how Vampires work or good to know stuff like how to survive a sinking ship or to the topic I'm gonna mention, "Everlasting Love: How do you know if it's for real?"

It starts off by giving a scenario - Your heart races everytime he calls and your pamls sweat whenever he's near. You think he may be "the ONE". But how do you know if this is the real thing?

It goes on to further explain that Love has 3 stages. Infatuation stage, Bonding Stage and the Familiar Stage.

Infatuation stage is when you cant wait to be with the other person, also know as the romantic stage of love. But Dr Neder warns that this is the stage when people thinks it's "the real thing." But this stage lasts only a short time. Happened to me alot, hahaha..

2nd stage - Bonding. You get to know the other person and you start planning aspects of your life around them. If you continue through this stage you eventually enter the 3rd stage.

Familiar stage. You've established a pattern that involves the other person. You know foundationally how the other person feels about almost everything and interestingly, you also become refocused on your own life, direction and goals. Dr Neder says, not I say one, that this is where most professionals believe "real love" starts.

Dr Neder defines true love as caring about the health, well-being and happiness of another person to a greater degree than your own health, well-being and happiness.

Conversely, Dr Northrup says if someones says to you: " If you love me, you would..", that is not love, it's about control. True love is easily recognised as unconditional support.

Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks says that true love occurs when you shift from unconscious commitment to conscious commitment. When you hear people say: "Relationships are really hard work," that is an expression of unconscious commitment. Conscious commitment means that you reveal your true self to your partner and support your partner through thick and thin.

Laurie Moore, has a different opinion though. She says all love comes from an open heart and that when you're together, it's open and safe at the same time, but she believes that this doesnt mean the person you love is necessarily your life partner.

Interesting point of views from all these people...

So finally, to the gist of this message. The experts give us nine ways to tell if your love is real.

1. You feel good

A good r/s makes you feel good about yourself.

2. You look forward to spending time with your partner

You dont need to be with other people to go to events to avoid being alone together. You enjoy spending quality time together even when it's quiet.

3.You respect your partner

You hear yourself bragging about your partner. If you find that you're always talking about yourself, you're not focused on your partner or the r/s

4.You're interested in what your partner thinks

You ask your partner's opinion about issues that are important to you. It's OKAY if he/she disagrees.

5.You accept your partner's quirks

If your partner's quirks are endearing or tolerable, you're in good shape. If they really bother you, you should look more closely at the relationship.

6.You're able to work through your problems

People in healthy r/s see disagreements as a chance to learn more about their partner. However if you're creating the problems, or if you think every fight is the "big one" leading to a breakup, you should probably rethink your r/s.

7.You feel safe

You're not afraid of losing your partner.

8.You cant explain why you're together

Ask yourself if you're together because you truly want to be. If the answer is yes, then you'll probably stay together. If it's no, you're bound to have problems.

9. You dont compare your partner to others

There will always be someone more beautiful or smarter or more athletic than your partner, but you dont care because you only want to be with him/her.

But a disclaimer - True love has different meanings for different people.

So there you go. I guess this stems from my curiosity of how do I recognise if she's the one. I tried asking my cg member who was engaged not too long ago, and to my horror, she told me actually they quarrel alot and she is not certain herself if he's the one.. ZZZZzzzz.. To think she accepted the engagement.. I was quite lost for words.. But really, it puzzles me, how to recognise "the ONE"..

Even after reading this, I can safely say, you wun know "the ONE" till you JUST TRY! Since it suggest that real love only comes at the 3rd stage and not the 1st, so obviously you need to know the person till the 3rd stage before you know it's true love. So morale of the story, JUST TRY!

I'm falling in love with this song, true love.. We at stage 3 liao.. haha.. Probably not very apt song title for this post, but that's the irony! I love irony!

What if..

2011-04-03T17:36:00.001+08:00

My inner demons, they're fighting to take over my mind! Ever felt like you don't deserve happiness? Ever felt like who do you think you are to deserve this or that? Or maybe it's just me but I believe that's the work of inner demons in me.. And it just overwhelms me sometimes out of nowhere.. Sneak attack me.. But they wun bring me down!!! NEVERRR!!!!

Anyway, was kinda disappointed yesterday.. Service was the family day theme, and I actually invited my sister to come. She actually said she was coming but unfortunately she had to work OT and couldnt come down.. I was kinda hopeful that maybe when she did come, she would rededicate her life to God again.. What more, i felt yesterday's service was a great time to respond to the altar call.. But I guess it was not meant to be.. Well, at least Easter's coming, hope she is able to come then..

I guess that set the whole mood for yesterday.. Disappointment.. I'm not too sure why I am so affected too.. Cos even when my Cg went for a movie, which I couldn't make it, technically cos of my sister as well, i felt down as well even though it was nothing worthwhile.. It was just one of those, "anything can bring you down" day.

The story goes like this, my cg asked me for sat movie , but i couldnt confirm as my sis was maybe coming for sat service.. She only could cfm wif me an hr before svc itself but my cg member booked on sat morning. Bkl I say i going to watch, den later my sis come, den what she do? Or I say me n my sis gg to watch, den she cant make it, den extra ticket how? It just wasnt realistic to confirm my attendance at that time, so in the end, when my sister cfm she cant make it, my cg already booked the tickets, so movie never watched.

It prob din help much with the fact that I am sick again! Seriously, after that one month cough episode and now barely stayed sick-free for a month, and then here I am again, sick with cough! Another dip in my fitness level again! Sian, build up then drop, build up again then drop.. Si bei Sian.. But neh mind, like i said, it was just one of those days where anything can get you down.. So i try to maintain manner..

Today, went for Qing Ming.. Sweep Tomb.. I am one of those not particular about holding joss stick as I believe in my own convictions and the reason I hold them is a sign of respect for the dead and nothing else. But then again, I understand why Christains feel so strongly about not holding them. Can you imagine one day if someone takes a photo of Pastor Kong holding joss stick? Imagine the consequences of that! People start slamming him, etc. Even though like I said, he may hold it out of respect.. But sometimes, intention is never enough.. So, yea, i totally get that..

Anw, I am clueless about half the people that I paid respect to today.. Like really never see before but somehow they are related, but I just cannot remember how are they related. Every year I asked who is that, but the following year I forget. So i dun bother asking anymore.. lol!

The other half are my grandparents and my father.. Really brings back memories. My grandma and grandpa who I'm more familiar with.. Especially my grandpa whom I have a more deeper relationship with cos I was more older when he was still alive.. Then there's my father, whom passed away a few month after I was born.. Every year, visiting his tomb, always makes me wonder, what if? What if he was still alive? How would I turn out to be? Will he be proud of me with what I've achieved so far? But i really think my father very handsome.. I finally took a picture of him this year.. Here it is..

What if....

Getting ahead of myself

2011-04-01T13:16:00.000+08:00

Awesome catching up last tuesday over dinner and chill at coffeebean.. Boo to Junhao n Amos who did not come.. Both of them are cocks, seriously.. Jun best, dun even know tuesday is his mum's bday celebration and still told me eating wif us.. Zzzzzz.. Who doesnt know when is their mum's birthday! If u dunno the day, at least know the month! Amos also best! Asked him on sun, say okay okay.. On tues suddenly say got family dinner.. Maybe he also like Jun, forgot mum bday dinner tat day.. But Ta bai ask him eat dinner, either mum got cook or family dinner.. Oh well, not my loss..

Right now, i have 2 projects left to finish up! Soon soon.. Then after that it's exam break.. The stress period is coming.. This semester, my exam break is longer.. Close to 3 weeks.. While last sem it was only 2 weeks! Plus now my papers are a little more separated apart.. Last sem, it was 2 papers in 2 days.. Zzzz..

But this sem could be the hardest of all the semesters.. All the heavy modules in this semester.. I'm a little worried to be honest.. This semester's modules feels like they are on a different level compared to those I cleared already.. Tax, even though it's open book, it's gonna be hellishly difficult to do.. The irony of an open book exam - the books there for you to refer to, but do you have time to? Oh well, just look to clear my 2 projects first, which coincidentally, are both tax projects.. Dun get ahead of myself..

Speaking of getting ahead of myself.. Those who knows my "secret", should know this, I dun wanna get ahead of myself.. Cos that's what I always do.. But sumhow, as I got older, I learned to control some bad habits of mine.. But there are some that still emerges sometimes, but then again, I think I'm much better in keeping emotions in check right now..

Thankful

2011-03-27T20:15:00.001+08:00

Finally the gang met up on Tuesday for dinner, courtesy of yours truly, no prizes for guessing.. Cos it seems I'm the only one who bothers to ask any1 out for the longest time.. Oh well, nothing's changed..

This week service reminded me of thanksgiving.. I for one am someone who when the going gets tough, I whine and wonder why liddat.. I forgot how to be thankful of everything else God has provided or the fact that His ways are higher than mine.. I forgot how to be thankful for the ones surrounding me.. So, thanks... To God... To my gang of friends.. For always being there whenever I need you guys.. New friends (CG) may come, but deep down, I always feel most comfortable with you guys.. And lastly, to my family who's a solid rock in my life..

And next, finally, my team won! 4-1.. Thank God! We had a China player who made his debut today.. I was told he was a former youth player at Dalian. Remember this China team that joined S-League? But he's like 30+ now, so I cant cfm this claim.. haha.. But he definitely has the quality.. Thou he missed a one-on-one chance in the 6 yard box! haha.. That was damn funny.. I kept laughing.. But he "scored" one other goal.. Shot at the keeper, hit the defender and went in.. It dun matter how it goes in, as long as it does.. haha..

Lastly, I dunno why, but I've been hearing this question ALOT recently.. And I'm not exaggerating.. Cos I never had to deal with such questions for the longest time, not even in relatives house during CNY! So imagine, I'm so puzzled now cos it seems every1 else is asking NOW! APA LINK?!? The topic involves me with a girl..

My Cg, workplace, family, close friends.. I think the only group not inside here is my classmates..

My cg, has plenty alot of single ladies and gentlemen. But somehow, I seem to be asked this question alot.. "So, what you think, this other female cg member can not?" or " I think this cg member quite suit you" or "you can try this cg member, she's very nice person"..I'm like, nah she's not my type.. or I dunno her well enough..You know, just to be polite, and not like, "fwah.. she?!? CANNOT LAAHHH".. haha

At my workplace, after doing Lasik and getting a short hair cut, they suddenly came to this conclusion that I am either chasing a girl or aiming a girl to chase.. And I'm like what!?! I did Lasik for convenience sake, how I know I will so handsome after that.. LOL.. And haircut, cos i just felt sick of my curls.. But I think I wanna grow one more time before reservists hit me! Haha, my mum is gonna complain again..

And my close friends.. Saying the cg member that I upset, liked me.. And I'm like what?!? G-Rope?? hahaha..

But I have a secret... I'll reveal it in due time, lest I jinx it.. If u wanna know, then ask me in private lah.. :)

Cheers!

Perfect Gentleman

2011-03-20T20:41:00.004+08:00

In the end there was no happy ending.. My team lost the game.. Quite heavily as well.. Think it was 6-4.. Zzzz.. Wasnt one of my proudest matches.. It's surprising how not exercising for one month can make such an impact on one's fitness. Like really a huge difference.. Reaction slower, turn of speed slow and staimna dropped.. I need to train up! Man, i used to be fitter, and even then I wasnt exactly "fit" either..

And I think I overstepped the line on Sat on one of my Cg members.. See the thing is, my usual khakis, we're a bunch of jokers, but most importantly, we know each other for ages. So it's common to see each of us disturb each other in a crude way.. But I think i forgot my place in the CG, and i may have made a crude joke, and my cg member got angry.. It was one of those classic non intentionally offensive jokes that was taken a wrong way by someone who doesnt understand you that well yet.. A case of being overfamiliar..

The worst part, I dun even know what I said that spark this episode! LOL! So I just apologised generally.. If my cg member asked me what I was sorry about, I confirm HG, GG! Thankfully she did not.. Hen ah..

That's when I felt my break from the Cg was kinda at the right time.. I think I was getting on some of their nerves for my "jokes" which obviously they arent used to it.. Thou I'm not sure if they ever will.. haha.. I'm thinking of just stop joking as a whole.. It's nvr nice to be a source of "pain" in a group.. I'll just be the perfect gentleman from now on when I'm there.. :)

Just look at this post, and you will know how I joke usually, a "perfect gentleman" with this kinda picture, get it now?

Made me feel like a superstar

2011-03-17T00:24:00.000+08:00

Excited for this Sunday.. Making my comeback for my soccer league.. Not known to all, is that the time that I left for my MC break, the team had a lot of incidents.. Our team let in 20 goals in 3 games.. There was a constant lack of players for each match and even if we did make the full squad of 11, some were late and even arrived at half time.. So you can see there were alot of unsatisfied feelings that developed as those committed ones feel shortchanged and they were pretty much fed up of playing already..

So before I even step out on to the pitch once again, I find my team falling apart.. A few players were sacked and some threatening to quit.. Honestly I tot this was a sign for me to attend service with my Cg on Sunday. But apparently my presence back this Sunday helped convince some that there may still be hope playing for this team.. Wow, firstly, I'm damn honored to hold such influence and high regard in this team.. It really makes me happy to represent them cos I'm wanted.. Secondly, I just feel, SONG AH! Really feels good to be wanted somewhere or by someone..

But right now, after not exercising for 1 month.. I find myself lack of fitness, shape and stamina.. I dunno if I can last a full game.. It din help that besides the fact I did Lasik which made me unavailable to play, I couldnt play either cos of my cough which lasted a month plus.. And my cough had some relation to my "childhood" asthma, which is not so childhood anymore.. So right now when i restarted running again, I feel very breathless, and i feel asthma is playing some part in it cos I dun remember feeling this way before even though last time I had a break from exercise also..

So I'm trying my best to gather some fitness on Sun.. Played soccer last Sat, body ached like mad the next day.. Went for a run again on Tues, and right now my legs are aching like mad as well.. Prob shld go for one more run on Fri to prep myself.. But hope I dun ache on Sun thou, if not I'm in trouble.. haha.. I can do it!

Death by assignment

2011-03-14T02:03:00.001+08:00

Assignment deadlines are nearing again.. This year I can safely say, I have lost the enthusiasm to study already.. Getting started on doing projects have become more n more difficult..Kinda like Im on my deathbed and electrocuting me with those things isnt working like it used to anymore..And when I do get started, it's so easy to get distracted and then the cycle restarts.. Suddenly it feels like I cant wait for end of this year to come already..
I dun want life to zoom pass like that!

Next on the agenda, last week with my cg on last sat.. Initially I was gonna join Hp and Van cg for svc.. But turns out my other cg member who also cant make it for sun, dun mind if it's just the two of us.. Then there's her fiance who would join her, so tat makes 3 of us.. And there's this other member who serves alternate weeks, so she will go Sat svc when she serves on Sun, which I salute cos normally what people would do is just count the ministry as attendance for svc alr.. So tats makes it 3.5 of us since it's alternate weeks.. haha.. Haven told Hp or Van btw.. Van if you're reading this, just take note.. LOL.. Haven had the chance to see them recently.. Matt no gig, hard to catch them.. lol..

Played soccer on Sat! First since about a month plus already.. Couldnt make it.. Stamina dropped "it like it's hot".. LOL! Scored a goal as well! It was pretty nice considering my standard.. One of the softest goals I had ever score.. Merely guided it with sufficient energy to roll inside the goal, but at the same time, with little energy to look like it was peanuts to me.. NICE! On my way back, I was still boasting to Ben saying that I dun feel the ache yet, since normally after soccer I'd do cos we normally play very long.. Then the next day came, REGREEETTTTTT! Haha.. Whole body ache sia! Jiaaa Laaattt..

To sum up the week, got to witnessed Man Utd beat Arsenal 2-0! Woohoo!! Niceeee.. Using the twin confusion tactic.. Defender tot he covered one, he tot wrong.. haha..

You're seeing double... Or are you?

Rant Tan Tan..

2011-03-08T01:30:00.000+08:00

There's hope for me! I just felt like saying that cos that's what I felt when my female colleague told me that I'm quite a funny guy, so why am I not attached.. FYI, she's attached, so no, she's not interested in me, I just made her laugh today.. hahaha.. Well the sad reality is that I'm not attached..

Sometimes I think to myself, I think maybe I dun wanna be attached after all, maybe all this talk about how I long to be in a r/s, it's all bullshit, it's all a front.. I think maybe I'm afraid to get attached.. The commitment, the time consumed, the rejections, the potential arguments, the messed up feelings after a quarrel or disagreement, the making up after the disagreement.. Maybe deep down, I dun wan all those or I'm not ready for those..

But then again, maybe I just dun have the free time right now to think so much about girls.. Work and studying, even part time work, can be tiring.. And when I'm all alone, relaxing, I dun really think much abt r/s now.. I just wanna go into screensaver mode and just play pc games or watch tv series.. It's either one of those..

I was talking to my female cg member who is engaged already the other day, and we were talking about girls from my point of view. And I said to her what I really want is to talk to a female w/o having the need to impress her or have her think that I'm just trying to get into her pants when all I said was hello.. The social protocol of a group gathering of guys and girls insists that each gender gather with their own gender only.. If one decides to differ from this protocol, he/she risks the mocking of the group that he/she is... how should i put it delicately, Horny.. But really, I wanna just experience a different kind of conversation and not just have sausage fest.. But oh well, I'm not one who has balls of steel and am able to break such protocol. So just enjoy my sausage fest..

And then she asked me about my decision.. She sympathized with me by saying it's not easy to settle in a Cg, and after doing so, then I have to take leave from them.. Felt good for someone to step into my shoes.. But oh well, life still goes on, next week is my last week wif Cg before breaking.. Not really looking forward to it.. Feels like one of those r/s "breaks".. You know the stuff people in r/s tell themselves, they need a break to sort out their thoughts and really think about the r/s.. haha.. Hope it doesnt happen to me in the future..

Stay

2011-03-02T03:23:00.003+08:00

After consulting with 3 of my friends.. They all had the same conclusion, option 2.. Stay! It's nice to know I'm able to turn to them for some guided wisdom.. Cos sometimes when you're in the thick of things, you cant see clearly the paths ahead of you..

But oh well, i guessed the thought of quitting the CG was becos I was discouraged that such a thing happened so fast since I just joined the CG.. And then I start to wonder if this was the right CG for me.. Was it a sign to change another CG? But since I took a step of faith to join this CG, Van was right to say when taking a step of faith, discouragement will come.. So honestly, it could be either one of those when you think it..

So now, I've made up my mind.. option 2.. STAY! A big shout out to Matt, Van and Amos for listening to me..

Should I stay or should I go

2011-02-27T21:43:00.003+08:00

I'm at a crossroad again.. Just when I thought my life is rejuvenated , I go back to square one, in the gutter..

I wonder does everyone think that their life is just a sad sad tale? Like if it was a movie, it's a sadistic comedy becos of how it always turns out for the worst? I mean, I know I am blessed to have food on the table, a bed to sleep on etc.. But sometimes I just feel damn swuay.. Like as if every single step of the way, there are bumps.. Sometimes I feel I'm like the most swuay person in the world.. But obviously, it isnt a fact.. Just that it certainly feels that way those times..

Even right now as I blog, I really wonder why, why cant I be in one piece? Why must i have a freaking cough that lasts 3 weeks or the sore throat and flu before that during CNY sumore! I have been sick for a month now! Never full recovered.. And it's not like I din try, I stayed away from CNY goodies when I was sick, but when I recovered from sore throat and flu, the cough came.. Wonderful.. I cant ever fully enjoy CNY goodies! Like really? Why? It's really frustrating sometimes.. I try my best to look on the positive side, but things just keep coming.. Oh well.. What's new?

Glad I have this blog to rant all this insignificant stuff.. All these petty problems that get me sometimes..

But anw, my main story is that I may change CG again.. Oh well.. Just when I tot I'm on a run after making an effort to mingle with the CG and mixing in with them, then this had to happen.. My cgl's daughter is getting old now and needs more attention and education, so she needs to spend more time with her and she cant do that when she and her husband is different service days.. So after pondering for a while, she asked the CG if they were okay with Sun service.. And all were ok except me and this other member since I have soccer league while the other member got work on sun for a a few months..

I cant quit my soccer team cos I made a commitment to them and also cos I wanna play soccer. I already cant play soccer on Sat since I have classes, and if I go service on sunday, then i cant play soccer regularly anymore.. Soccer is my passion man!

Just when things start to come together, they fall apart again.. I tot this was my transformation.. New cg that i could mingle with, a new soccer team that I can play with, then now it becomes like this.

After assessing the situation, my options are..
1. Quit my league and team and just go for service with cg and totally miss soccer..
2. Wait for the end of the league that ends in May/June, and then go for service with cg after that while mean time I go to sat service with someone I know.. e.g Hp
3. Quit my cg now, attend a cg that attends Sat service and continue playing Sun soccer..

The funny thing is that I was speaking to Hp about Sun services last friday, and he was so happy that his cg is changing to Sat svc cos when he attends service, he normally sleeps during the preaching since it's so early.. Imagine, 10am at expo already cannot stand! 10am at suntec? How will it be any better? I've been to the odd sun services at expo from time to time, and honestly, it's no laughing matter, it's so hard to wake up and feel alive on a sunday morning.. Even if I'm physically awake, I still feel lifeless and stoned.. Sun is like my body's rest day, automatically switches off to rest. So that's a bummer.. One of the reasons why I'm contemplating changing to a new cg..

Option 1 is probably my last option since I dun want to quit the team and league cos even though we may not be good, it's nice playing with them.. I made friends with the team already.. And soccer is my passion!

Option 2 is the likelier option I will choose since it's like a play by ear option.. See how it goes since I know my life doesnt always go the way that I figured it will turn out.. But the bad thing is that I have to attend service with a cg im not familiar with.. I mean I will probably be going service different from my cg for 2-3 months? With that amount of time, I probably could join a new cg and get to know the ppl there also.. I've also been my current cg for like 3 months.. So what's the point of staying wif my current cg then? Correct?

And what happens after my league seasons restart say next year? Then another 6 months of going sat service? If I decide then sat service cg is better for me, then wouldnt i have wasted time staying on wif my current cg? And wldnt I make saying goodbye harder later compared to now since I'm only here for 3 months?

Which leads to option 3.. Quit the cg and join a permanent sat service cg.. But the bad thing is, I would have to make new friends all over again.. And I seriously hate that process.. HATE it.. It's not fun going through all the awkward moments.. And this time my zone already dont have any cgs that I would go to.. So where do i go then? It's a whole new problem by itself again..

I haven decided yet, tough choice to make really.. Hiazzzzz

To Jonny!

2011-02-24T00:42:00.002+08:00

I realised I'm like the only consistent blogger left standing among my group of friends..
Amos has stopped... So much for after NS I sure blog more one - that's what he said..
Jx has stopped emo-ing on his blog ever since he has a gf.. No more Jess related posts..
Matt still the same.. Never was a consistent blogger..
Van's like the spammer.. Would stop blogging for months, then suddenly spam alot of posts in a week..
So my daily/weekly routine of reading blogs are kinda boring now since no one ever blogs! I guess I'll just read mine after I post.. LOL!

Right.. After witnessing the most embarrassing moment of my friend's life - Jonny.. I salute Jonny for taking everything in his stride.. Really.. *SE DI YAH! Salute*

He did what most of us at the table wont do, except probably Jx, and yet still get mocked at and embarrassed to the max! And still walk away laughing and not punching the guy - Matt, who sabo-ed him.. Salute!! Firstly, I dun think I will ever have the guts to ask a girl for a number unless... hmmm.. say maybe if it's a dare from playing truth or dare and I dun wanna be a spoiler.. Really, I say it first, I've no guts.. I cant take the rejection!

Secondly,to be laughed at by the whole bar and take it like a man.. I dunno if I cld walk out of there w/o bearing a grudge or feeling pissed off.. And seriously, to me, it din help when Amos and Matt said "you see, you made everyone laugh leh!" together.. It's a fact that he made everyone laughed, but it was more like salt to the wound.. Well, I'm quite a petty guy and the kind who takes things too seriously.. But Jonny took it..

POWER LAH JONNY!! Really, you deserved the girl's number even if she has a bf.. LOL! One thing is for sure.. We will all definitely remember that night, especially Jonny.. And Sarah summed it up best - Jonny, you already asked for girl's number and failed, nothing can bring you down tonight.. hahaha..

To Jonny!

The backside of Lasik..

2011-02-20T21:47:00.005+08:00

Lasik... Everyone knows the good part.. But no one says anything abt the bad part..

So here it goes..

First.. The price.. Pretty obvious... $3k is no small sum..

Second.. The freaking eyedrops.. The amount of times I have to put eyedrops during the first 3 months after operations is insane!!!!! I have a total of 3 eyedrops.. 1 is the antibiotic eyedrops, another is the steroid eyedrops and the last is the a normal eye lubricant eyedrops..

First day after operation, I have to put the antibiotic and steroid eyedrop every 2 hourly with a space of 5 mins in between those 2. On top of that, the lubricant eyedrops to put every 15 mins.. EVERY 15 mins!!! Haven even watch finish 1 How I Met Your Mother episode must put 2 times already!

2nd day - 1st week. The antibiotic and steroid eyedrops every 4 hourly.. And the lubricant every hour..

2nd week.. Only the lubricant changes to 2 hourly..

3rd week - 3 months.. The lubricant eyedrops change to 3 hourly.. 3rd week to 3 months is 9 weeks! 9 weeks of 3 hourly eyedrops! Where got time!!!! No joke leh..

There's more...

Not allowed to rub the eye for first 2 weeks after op..
Have to wear a cool shades/googles 24 hour after op.. Subsequently to wear it nightly for a week!
Eyes cannot have contact with water/soap/shampoo.. Bathing time becomes troublesome since I have to bend my head down to bathe..
Cant play contact sports for 1 month!
Still have to go back the eye centre for 3 more reviews!

But for 10 years of specs-less convenience.. This is a small price to pay.. Focus on the big picture..

My fav song of the moment and also Record of the Year at this year's Grammy Awards..

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

Lasik

2011-02-08T17:44:00.002+08:00

Haven blogged in awhile, no hweeling.. But...

I think I need to look for a new job soon cos the company is hiring 2 full time staff to cover the workload that my former supervisor and me were doing. So I guess that means I'm the surplus already.. So it's a sooner or later thing, once they're hired, I can expect the worst.. Not sure what I'm gonna do. I cant go back to the recruitment agency since I bluffed them that I "quit" Redbull cos to concentrate on studies.. But I'm thinking of internship at one of the Big 4 companies.. See how that goes.. But it's an idea.

And I'm doing LASIK, like FINALLYYYY!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! So far the people, (2 is counted as people), that have done lasik, said it's the best decision in their life.. Dan Chua and my CGL.. But I've never ever doubted that it will be a decision I will regret... Cos come on, those that wear specs, come on, you know what I'm talking about.. Constantly pushing up your ever sliding down specs.. Once in few hours have to take out and wipe cos diry due to long eye lashes "sweeping" your lenses - maybe only for me.. And sports, O.M.G, dun even get me started how sian is it when your specs break when playing sports..

Plus, not everyone can carry out a specs look and look good.. Some do, really, but those that dont, wear contact lens.. And come on, those that wear contact lens, come on, you know what I'm talking about.. Dry eyes, shag after a whole day out, drag yourself to the toilet to take out your lens.. Sometimes it's too dry during the day that your lens shift out of place, then so uncomfortable and have to find a mirror to go adjust..

So really, those that have vision that dun require specs, count your blessings.. But that will soon be me! Even if for a temporary period of 10 years, I dun care! It will be the best 10 years of my life.. hahaha..

Wasted that Lasik should only be done when you're older cos that's when your eyes degree stabillise.. I mean, it would have been perfect, all those ultra active years, I could do without specs.. Countless times my specs broke becos of sports.. But it's okay to wear specs when you're older, when you're less active..

Speaking of sports related damaged specs.. The current specs I'm wearing now is cursed.. Really cursed.. Bought it 2 plus months back.. One of the "leg" came out when the ball hit my specs 2 weeks ago.. Brought it for repairs last tuesday.. They managed to fix it back with spare parts in their factory and collected it yst morning.. Played soccer today and guess what, my specs took a hit again! This time it din break, but one of the legs was bent, so had to push it back.. So it went back to being loose again, and now have to keep pushing my specs up, but, I DUN CARE! LASIK HERE I COME!!! But honestly, this specs is cursed.. My previous specs which i bought during NS, lasted throughout NS and 1 year of Uni.. 3 years before it broke down! This one, not even 3 months damaged twice.. Cursed!

Glasvegas

2011-02-04T01:59:00.003+08:00

Once in a few months i have this short fuse where i just get pissed off by things not within my control.. I do not know why, maybe as humans we must go through every single emotion yearly or something.. MUST..you know, just evidence to show that we're still human and not robots with pleasant feelings only.. The silliest thing about it is that it is not within my control, i cant do anything about it! That's the worst kind of situations to have any emotions over, but yet, I cant help it also..

I need to have this mentality whereby I only consider matters that are actually within my control, the rest? Let God handle.. Cos honestly, no point.. I like the mentality of "anything is possible", if you think it's possible, it can happen.. That is what a self-claimed former millionaire once told me.. And I really agree with him..

He told he mixed with other people that had the same mentality.. And when they came together to discuss an idea, they would first ask each other if they thought the idea is able to be carried out.. If they agreed it could, straight away liao, planned out the steps to carry it out.. He said dun ever leave any space for excuses.. Which is true in my case, cos most of the time I tell myself that this particular thing can be done, but I'm too lazy or what if it fails or I have no time.. Be it losing weight or studies.. Really..It's about time already..

And I like what Alex Ferguson said in an interview about why he is so successful..His answer? Never leave space for self-doubt.. Which sounds easy.. But everyone knows when we make a decision, the starting part or even mid way, we feel like why the hell did we make this decision! Joining a new CG is one e.g I can think of.. I had doubts at the start too! But it's not just me, look at Amos, so much self-doubt that he dun even dare to join ANY CG! So it's really not as easy as it sounds..

At first it was kinda sucky, and after like 1 month with them, I still felt like a stranger.. And when I saw my old CG after 1 month, all the cheery "hi"s and "how are you doing" made me wonder if i've made the wrong choice.. Suddenly I felt closer to my old CG becos of the stranger feeling I had in my new CG.. But i held on, and now after a few months already, i know i've made the right choice.. I'm not exactly "ah ka liao" with my new cg, but I can hold a decent conversation with most of them, sometimes there are still awkward moments, but there are some bright moments as well, in particular, the fellowship.. I feel comfortable when fellowshopping wif them in a group, so it's a good sign..

Honestly, reading my posts last year, it was like I wanted to change CG since the start of the year, but only managed to step out in faith at the end of the year.. It took me a year to gain courage to change CG! And I felt it's the best decision I had made last year.. I feel alive in church again..

And just last week, i saw my old CG again, it could be a different reality from what i saw, but what i saw was just 3 people going to fellowship.. Timothy, Elisha and Xinyi.. what a dramatic change right.. And after joining a few months, the CGL is already challenging me to serve in the CG.. It's a good push, something I have not had for a few years already.. This may sound weird, but I kinda missed discipleship.. As bad as Eric was last time, there were some good principles that he actually did taught me.. Nothing at the back of my head now, but I truly believe discipleship does make me a better person..

I have this thinking that I'm still young, I wanna learn, be it good principles or skills, so suddenly discipleship doesnt sound like a bad idea.. The only sucky thing is to actually trust the person teaching you that he/she is actually teaching you something useful.. If you feel that the person is talking rubbish, you're never gonna learn.. But then again, not learning rubbish is good as well.. Oh well.. Hope for a good mentor then..

Here's a song I'm addicted to.. Thanks to Lucas first for repeating this song 1million times when I was sharing a desk with him at our contract work office last time, and also the TV series Chuck, for reminding me this melody that was stuck in my head.. I dunno why but songs just sound better when you watch it in a a show that has it in their soundtracks.. It really sticks in the head, but what the heck, JUST enjoy..

Glasvegas - Daddy's Gone

Who is?

2011-01-30T14:59:00.002+08:00

CNY is coming!! This year I made an exception and opened my house for some Legen, wait for it......... DARY steamboat feasting. Other years I was thinking of the cleanup after that, so I was lazy to organise..

On a side note, online shopping at ASOS rocks. I remember last years CNY, when I was shopping for clothes, totally sucked. Cos there isnt nice clothes hanging on the shelves anymore. It's like as if all the nice clothes are hidden in their storeroom and only sold in a black market. It was really bad, i remember not seeing ANYTHING nice.. I had to settle to buy some clothes since it's a tradition.. I think I bought 1 top and 1 bottom only.. But now, relac only, at the comfort of my computer chair, browsing so many nice clothes, even able to buy clothes months before CNY begins.. Power la really..

But right now I relac already.. Unless there are good deals, I wun splurge anymore..

At the same time, Valentine's day is coming.. Another year goes by, another insignificant 14th February.. I forgot the feeling already.. What it's like to have someone there.. What it's like to stress over her present.. I think I even forgot what it's like to recognise the one for me anymore.. Who is worth chasing and who's not.. I was talking to Matt the other day, and so far, my past showed me that, I have bad judgement on girls.. I tend to pick those with weak character.. And surprisingly, the girls that I liked are all christains and attend church, but all cannot make it.. So that goes to show, doesnt mean attend church/christain means she will be good..

So who is worthy then?

2 x 3 Hit Combo

2011-01-21T22:19:00.005+08:00

As you all know, one can get rather "unlucky" at times... And recently it happened two days in a row, all in a short period of time.. Maybe I shldnt have blogged abt Murphy's law.. In the end it turned out to be a "prophecy" over my life sia... Truly, everything that can go wrong, will go wrong..

First, incident.. Wednesday, was in the office for half a day.. My boss was in as well.. But when I was about to leave for class, he had to meet me before i leave to tell me "impt" stuff.. Cannot meet me when I just reach the office, or even half way through the day, MUST meet me when Im about to leave.. MUST! Den in de end, delayed my exit of the office by 25 mins.. Sian already..

Then when I was on the MRT towards Buona Vista/Dover, I needed my 3G to work to find out which route is faster.. Cos normally i would drop at Dover to take bus, but evening classes crowd can be insane.. The bus can be so crowded that you cant even board.. So taking the bus from the start at buona vista is a better option.. So I wanted to decide.. But after i left the tunnel, at Redhill already, no 3G all the way! Redhill/Queensway/Commonwealth/Buona Vista! SMLJ!!! It was only when the train is braking to stop at Buona Vista, then 3G was available.. By that time, i already decided just drop at Buona Vista..

So since, i took the longer bus route, and late from office, I needed the bus to reach JUST nice when i reached the bus stop.. But NO! I walk down the stairs, bus stop abt 50m-100m away, the bus reached and gonna go already.. FWAHHHHH.. Is really BAM BAM BAM combo sia..

Neh mind.. OKAY WHAT, like what i posted on FB..

Next day.. Evening, wanna go jog.. The weather looked cloudy, but not storm clouds.. So, OKAY WHAT.. Cooling to run.. Stepped out of my house, gonna press the lift, then can hear the sound of the lift closing at ground floor.. Dun ask me why my lift so noisy, I do not know.. Sian, just as I feared, it went to the top floor.. Have to wait.. zzzzz..

Finally reached ground floor.. Plug in my earphones.. Start my playlist and app.. Walked out of my void deck only, can feel raindrops.. It's not drizzling before I step out, cos i looked at the floor, not wet.. But MUST, MUST, when i JUST step out of the void deck, then it start.. APA LINK!?!?

Neh mind, give up liao.. Walk out of lift to void deck, MOST, 1.5min only.. Walk back to lift.. APA LINK!?! Top floor already!!! WTF!! Really, another 3 hit combo.. U may think all these are small things, but why cant small things work in favor for me also? It's always the nitty gritty stuff that irritates people..

So really.. WHAT UP!!!

Just wanna post this, cos i love this song..

Ohhh Murphy..

2011-01-17T11:03:00.003+08:00

I find Murphy's Law very negative.. It expects the worse in every situation.. At the same time, it's soo true, and that's how this law even came about.. If it isnt true, then this law wouldnt be as famous as it is..

I went to the Murphy Laws site and there are really some "laws" there that make you go, true true.. Like Murphy's Bus Law - If you're early the bus is late, If you're late the bus was early.. But the one I wanna mention, is Murphy's Love Law - If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.. Cos I aint taken so it makes me wonder, what's my reason then?? What's my deal breaker?? What's my point of NO-GO?? Can it even be explained??

Of cos I hope, and choose to believe, I'm just holding out for the right one.. But then again, it's not like I'm constantly on the verge of going into a r/s and then i have to remind myself to wait for the right one.. So this train of thought goes back to square one.. What's my reason??

Too picky cant be a reason becos you're talking about being in a r/s, not picking out some socks where any color will do.. It's gotta feel right and be right.. Sure, pretty girls are nice to look at, but if you cant even connect and converse, then they will forever just be a pretty face and not the "one" for you..

ARGGGGHHHHH DUNNO LAHHHH

Caught in a bad romance

2011-01-09T23:35:00.002+08:00

School is a dreadddddddd OMGGGGG KILL ME ALREADYYYYY..

This sem no joke.. 3 subjects all theory.. Madness, whoever said accounting was all about numbers and money! That's why I never quite like studying for a degree/diploma.. Sure, my interests is in accounting since POA was easy for me.. So was financial accounting.. But then they have subjects like Cost Management Accounting or Company Law that makes accounting degree/diploma a drag..

Then to make things worse.. One of the subject has a project as part of the assessment, and I cant even get to choose my partners to do with, its random! FWAHHHHHH!! Fingers cross already.. Hope for the best or die like the rest leh.. Being able to choose my own team mates, and I'm already pek chek till I wanna murder someone already, imagine if i get another similar group mould, HG LAH!! Hope for God's blessing already, out of my hands liao..

Then work has become tougher now.. Cos my supervisor left, and since the admin department consists of me, her and my manager, there is no proper takeover of the duties.. I mean I'm a part timer, how can a company rely on a part timer to keep their admin department running? Plus, when i was doing the store audit job for the company, I found out that actually my manager is quite a fucked up person and Redbull has a bad reputation among those drink distributors..

Our company is like a subsidiary of the main branch and we dun even do our own distributing of Redbull. We employ local distributors to help us.. Intially, it was Yeo's, then Allswell and now it's Pokka.. Apparently, we employed Yeo's but break with them after 2 months only, so they are not happy with us.. And after that we were with Allswell for like 6-7 years but they went to change to Pokka as well.. Which is stupid becos when I went auditing with an Allswell sales guy, he told me Allswell distributes both the silver and blue redbull and the gold redbull. But their boss love the silver and blue redbull alot that they entered into a contract that said if we use their services, they cannot do promotions for the gold redbull can. Which is good cos the gold redbull can had the market share plus they are cheap.

But now they withdrew and went Pokka, so Allswell started the gold redbull promotion last christmas.. So i think it's damn dumb.. Plus, the Allswell made a valid point about Pokka. Pokka has vending machines all over Singapore, and they place redbull inside the vending machines now, but it's at $2.80 per can.. Who would bring $2.80 worth of coins out to buy a redbull?? hahaha..

Plus like i mentioned, my manager is fucked up cos apparently he pissed off alot of people he meets with, like the Allswell salesman who dealt with him for 6,7 years. Cos apparently my manager has no power over big decisions, everything goes to the main branch to decide.. So when they push him to make a decision or if he make a bad decision, he just says is his boss say one, he cant do anything.. Or if he lands other people in trouble, he says is not his problem what.. Hahaha.. Harsh reality of the working world..

And the company is quite messed up cos they take forever to employ a full timer.. My supervisor already gave 2 weeks notice, but apparently, even my manager cant even employ the people he works with, they have to go through the main branch, that's why it takes so long to even replace someone here! So it's damn dumb, in the end a part timer has to pick up the baton for them! Which successful company ever does that? Successful company ask new full time employees to do a part timer job, like make coffee, laminate, photocopy.. But Redbull is doing the reverse.. FAIL!

So my responsibilities now are much bigger, have more tasks to do.. Part of me hates the added responsibility cos that's not what i signed up/paid for.. But at the same time, i know it's a learning experience for me, if i dun try, i will never learn. So fine, I can get over this fact. But then when I was made to do the audit job for them, not my choice, I tot i was paid my normal rate.. But then they told me since it's a project, they will pay me the same rate as the other part timer tat did it.. $8.50 per hour.. BTW, my supervisor told me my pay rised to $11 per hour cos we bluffed the recruit agency that i left the company already, so they will pay me the rate they pay the agency, $11 per hour..

So, naturally i felt cheated.. I mean I din choose to do the audit job.. U said you needed me to do.. I rather sit in a chair and earn more than going out to do the audit.. WTH already.. Then the last day of my supervisor, she told me the manager willing to pay me $10 per hour only.. So i had a chat with the manager, he said since we waive off the agency fee, I've gained but the company also needs to gain something out of it.. So he thinks $10 is fair.. Which makes sense, so when he said that, I BWG.. Mathematically, I've gained, $7.50 to $10 per hour is definitely a huge jump.. But i still felt cheated and lost.. Gained something but dun feel shiok.. Sucky feeling..

As a result, i felt last week was a long week for me.. It felt like one month last week.. URGH!! Please improve this week..

Dream big..

2011-01-02T23:06:00.003+08:00

Happy New Year Blog.. Come September this year, this blog will be 5 years old! Niceee

Countdown this year was interesting.. We went to Vivo for a ridiculously early dinner, walked around for a few hours before going to citylink and eating at BK again. Grabbed drinks at 7-11 before ending up at the outside of Marina Square, sitting and waiting for fireworks. It din turn out as well as we thought it would cos, our view of the fireworks were blocked by this huge exhaust pipe like thingy.. So we saw, half of the fireworks.. But it was still nice.. Went on the bras besah MacD before deciding on playing pool down the road at Pool Fusion.. But it was gan pua expensive.. $15 per hour.. No joke.. Next alternative, playing Starcraft at Park Lane.. It was quite fun, cos we were all noobs to the games less Amos.. So it started with a 4v2.. And after awhile when we got the hang of it, 3v3.. Close fight all the way.. That was what made it nice..

I cant say for the rest though, cos i know most of them think is ultimate fail to the max.. But if we never try we never know as I said.. At least we know it's not as fun as we thought to just wait for fireworks in a crowded area.. I din think ending up at a lup sup bar 2 years back was any better, but if we never try, we never know.. It was interesting as well.. But truth be told, there were no other solid plans as well, so no point crying over spilt milk.. Plus as they say, it's not about the place, it's about the company..

2 days past the new year.. So far, it's been kind to me.. Sat soccer, scored a goal! Not something that happens every week.. And then today marks the start of my sunday soccer team's league.. And we won.. 2-1.. Definitely not the best performance, but I'll take it anyday.. A win is a win..

Tml also marks the restart of school.. Ohhh how I dread it.. Not even prepared for it this year.. Last 2 semesters, I had my files bought and notes printed days before school started.. But not this semester.. Somehow dreading to study again.. Hope my results dun suffer the same fate as my enthusiasm towards studies..

Yesterday, Pastor preached a good message as well.. Though i heard it before, I felt challenged to dream big.. I dun believe it's coincidence that in a span of a few days, these two words kept repeating in my face.. "Dream Big" First, I was doing audit of provision shops for redbull fridges for my company. As the company is changing distrubutor to Pokka, thus you can see Redbull soon in the Pokka vending machines, I was teamed up with a sales guy from our former distributor to check the fridges in the shops to handover to Pokka.

The driver/sales rep was a man prob in his late 40s? 50s? He claimed he was a former millionaire. He did alot of businesses but his specialty was the tire buisiness cos he learnt that from young. According to him, he was a fearless guy, which helped propelled him to become rich, cos he said Failure, isnt in his dictionary. But at the same time, becos of this attitude, it brought his downfall, cos he too chiong.. He said he wanted to commit sucide after going bankrupt but thought of his family.. But he kept telling me he tells his son, who is a little younger than me, to dream big.. Dun ever put off anything or give yourself any excuse to not try, JUST TRY!

And he told me alot of his "sayings". A waste that my phone was low on batt that day, if not i would have facebook-ed most of his "sayings". So, I can only remember one, cos I facebook-ed it.. "don't be afraid that success comes late.. Be afraid if you don't have a chance to be successful" Which when you think of it, it's quite true.. Some times success isnt instant.. Sometimes we must be "blind" to our common sense before success happens, cos you cannot expect extraordinary results from ordinary effort. And also opportunities are not always there, and when it appears, and you dun grab it with your life, it may slip away..

Then Pastor talked about dreaming big, having God's dream inside.. Not just a dream of having a family,car,house,retirement, etc.. So I'm really thinking, what dream can I have.. I know I dun wanna be a Pastor.. I know a realistic dream of mine is probably be a football coach.. But then again, I'm not going in the right direction for that.. Then I thought about accounting, what dreams can be realised in accounting? Setup accounting/audit firms all around the world? Being a testimony for God this way? I mean being an accounting/manager is not really a big dream as well.. Can you imagine, Jerry & Someone, since most accounting/firms are partnerships like one of the big 4, Ernst and Young.. Then the world will have a new Jerry combination that people can speak of instead of just Tom & Jerry or Ben & Jerry.. It will be Jerry and someone since Jerry is always the 2nd name to pronounce, for whatever reason.. Cool ah..

But bringing it down to the year alone, I guess my resolutions last year was a failure cos I did not lose weight, neither did I did QT at all nor did i get a B/Distinction for my results.. Same resolutions this year, but I prob will have an action plan soon at least on how to lose weight.. Really need to change my diet.. :)

Dream big, Be a Billionaire!

2011 Baik

2010-12-28T01:48:00.003+08:00

It's the annual reflections for the year.. Plainly becos it's the end of the year and also cos I cant sleep.. I am so screwed for work tml.. I am watching Chelsea vs Arsenal later, 4am-6am.. Now is 2 am, cant get any sleep.. 6am-730am to sleep before preparing for work.. HG lah!

Okay, I haven personally interviewed people to ask them about their year, but on the back of my head now, I know of two who had a bad year.. Well, shit happens, just have to count your blessings each time you go through shit..

I haven really concluded this year of mine.. I feel it's definitely not a bad year, yet, it's not the best either.. So i will go thru my posts for the year to see it for myself..

I started the year badly, with kidney stones.. Yup, it's gonna be a year since I've had it.. And it really wasnt a good start at all! Uni life began for me as well during the start.. New beginnings? New sickness? New chapter in life? haha.. That sums up January..

Feb, i started missing my ex-gf really badly again, in need of a radical change.. Following that, I got my new guitar, thanks to Matt who helped me get it.. And I concluded February with finding a China partner.. Radical enuf? haha

3rd Month, I got addicted to How I Met Your Mother, and never looked back since.. Legend.. Wait for it.. Dary Show.. I also had my very first toe/finger nail coming off! VERY FIRST! Hope chicks dig that like they dig battle scars.. haha.. Then it start to take a turn for the worst becos Karma bite back.. I realised my "perfect" school group mates were really from hell.. Yup, school life was hell all the way after that.. Then if that wasnt bad, on my journey to school, i met another kid from hell, who tormented me.. March wasnt a good month for me..

March ta pao in to April.. I was still suffering in my school work.. Plus another urge to find a change/purpose in my life.. Then I failed my Basic Theory Test and found out that claiming warranty for a graphics card is a total bitch.. Exams began this month as well.. But the mood really, cannot.. I had some problems with a friend(s) as well.. Conclusion -April was a fool..

May.. I found this video that basically said, WOMEN ARE SHALLOW.. No kidding, but it was close to that.. Women find guys more attractive based on their salary.. Saddening news for me, cos I'm not rich.. :( Next, Man Utd lost the title to Chelsea.. :( End of exams!! But the general mood is that I'm pretty over my ex-gf by now, and holding out till the right one.. Then Asia Conference came! My first time in the conference as the previous year i was in NS.. Glad to have went down with Hp, Amos and Matt.. Felt like the old times.. Queuing early and Simpang almost every night as well! You know what, i shall put this down as a good month, just becos of Asia conference..

Mid year already, June.. Got back my results, wasnt satisfied with it.. Felt lousy about myself.. But World Cup started though! So did my airport job.. That sucky airport job.. zzz.. I concluded the month with comparing my cellgroup with Italy in the World Cup.. FYI, Italy played badly in the World Cup.. So yea, get the message? Half Time - Sucky 5 v Good 1

Birthday month! World Cup ended - Spain won! Started ASOS shopping, never looked back also.. hahaha.. POISON! And I confirmed to myself that I'm over my ex-gf.. Right after that, a close friend called me on the phone on my way to work at 5am in the morning, in his/her drunken state, to cry about his/her ex.. It was the first time seeing him/her cry.. It made me hate exes even more.. Birthday! But I din celebrate it.. Celebrations are overrated.. Pretty neutral month, but I'll put it as good, since no bad news is good news..

August already.. Quit the airport job, then began working for Redbull! My school semester restarts as well.. I realised one of my lecturer was an asshole.. And also, I entered Redbull company at the wrong time cos it was the hell month and I worked endless OT hours.. Even went back once on Sat! It was a shag month.. Tempted to put this as a bad month, but I was kinda glad i found Redbull job, so good month..

Wake me up when September ends.. I started with a mini reflection about my life and concluded that I would prob get my next gf at 30yrs old.. Hmm..Still sounds pretty likely.. Next, I had some friendship problems again..And this month was the start of my song compositions as well, cos i had a crush on one of the redbull girls.. hahaha.. Following that, I realised my new "dream team" for school projects, wasnt perfect either, I still had one liability.. But I finally passed my Basic Theory Test! Then the whole cycle of falling hopelessly for a girl repeats.. Wake me up when September ends - rightly so, cos it sucks! Being tormented by the Redbull girl who played hard to get.. Bad month cos of the waiting feeling for my crush..

Reached boiling point while doing one of my projects.. The month was October.. Like blood boiling kinda point.. Next, tried to ask my crush out, but was rejected.. Then I concluded, I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist.. Then I was labelled Emo by my mum first then by my close colleague.. Next, I reached an ultimate low in my church life.. From a happy group of friends in CG, to becoming a lone ranger.. Next, exams began again.. Watch an inspirational speech by Steve Jobs to not settle in any aspect of life.. Then I felt screwed while taking my Corporate accounting paper.. October seems forgettable..

Cold November.. Was MLM-ed by my crush and regretttttttttt.. Totally turned off, it was like having a de-rection.. From crush to MLM Crazy Chick cos she failed the Hot/Crazy scale.. Then my very close colleague left the company as well.. :( Nothing last forever, even Cold November Rain, apt lyrics for the month..

Lastly, December.. My cousin moved in with me becos of some family problems.. I also joined my cousin to play for his soccer team, and playing in a Sunday League come January. Then I got back my results and it spelled A-W-E-S-O-M-E! I also finally changed to a new CG, after almost complaining for the whole year! Now fitting in better already.. Had a sudden strong nostalgia of being in a r/s.. Passed my Advance Theory Test as well, scored full marks! Then lastly the awesome Christmas party at Matt's house! Best month whole year i feel! haha..

Looking back, I realised, I had a bad year! Final score - Sucky 8 v Good 3.. Hahaha.. I mean there were good times, but it seems the bad times were pretty bad this year.. This was the breakthrough year i guess.. The initial struggle before something new.. I hope I'm right as well.. hahaha.. Next year to be much better please! Thank God for optimism.. Thankfully i never really kept looking back during the year, if not, I'm constantly reminded of what a bad year it's been..

First the kidney stones, then still struggling with my ex-gf feelings, first semester of school was a nightmare, got rejected by my crush first, den MLM-ed, the list goes on.. Not to mention friends come and go.. Lost a few close friends.. One good e.g is losing adelene/shuyin that side.. No ones to blame really.. Recently watch a video on Razor TV.. And they were going out in the streets to get people's view on " r/s - does it cause you to lose friendship". And they said that a researcher's findings concluded that a person will have a average of 5 close friends at any present time.. And once the person becomes attached, the number of close friends drops to 3.. Since both adelene and shuyin are attached, I guess we are one of the close friends that are lost in that transition..

But friends come and go.. So no point holding on to something one sided.. When that person simply dun make time for you, it is impossible for things to work out.. I need to find new friends that are worth my time then..

Well, I must really retain this "blind" faith that things will get better, trust God.. If not, I dunno how to live on.. So please God, truly make 2011 great for me this time round.. :)

*Post ended at 3.47am*
*Zero sleep so far.. Dead!*

Merry Christmas to YOU

2010-12-25T13:22:00.002+08:00

Matt Lim's party was awesooommmeeeeeee... Thanks Matt for making it happen.. The only thing i can complain about is that it is not on the eve of christmas, so we couldnt do a christmas countdown.. Wasted..

So much shit happened at the party man.. If i list them down, I'd probably missed a few highlights of the night.. I remember the shouting of stuff you need like "PLATE PLATE PLATE PLATE PLATE!" or "FORK FORK FORK FORK FORK FORK!" Not forgetting the main highlight, watching the guys high.. If anything I've gathered from the night, it was that you really cant drive after you drink.. Watching them play a simple taboo/card game where normally a sober person will definitely not get punished that many times, and actually watching their high state making countless mistakes, it was just raw comedy..

Honestly, it was so bad, i really think i damaged my voice box from laughing so much.. Not an exaggeration, but my throat really hurts.. hahahahahaha.. Worth it..

Then church drama wasnt as nice as the last few years.. It felt like now they're moving into a real drama where there is not much comedy in it anymore.. We all know the highlight of the drama each year is their funny section, but this year, i kept waiting and waiting, even till the preaching and after the preaching, nothing happened.. Disappointed..

And after that me, matt n my cellgroup member went for dinner at changi, popeyes.. After that, went home cos it was pretty late.. And me n matt, we wished each other Merry Christmas, on the bus home... Yet another countdown on a vehicle.. hahaha.. Last year it was in Chit Yong's car.. I think the only thing me and matt can take away from this is, at least my cellgroup member was a girl, so we spent christmas eve with a girl.. hahahaha..

Anw,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY BLOG FOLLOWERS!

*Just a preview of Matt's Christmas party*

Bonus

2010-12-22T23:44:00.002+08:00

Swee lah.. "Bonus" came in.. My mum received a bonus, so i also received a "bonus" from her.. Heng ah, i almost gonna $90 for 3 weeks again.. I think my mum's bonus is either quite insanely huge or she went on a insane spending spree.

Last sat, i went out wif my family for lunch thus missing the usual sat soccer.. But it was not in vain as i ate a wonderful Japanese restaurant at Great World City, called Ichiban.. Really not bad, not like the sakae sushi kind, but not until over the top also, but the word to use would probably be premium. Then my mum set her mind on a Prada bag.. So off we went to Orchard ION..

As you all already know, ION is a class-cist.. They rank their shops by class.. If you are the average Singaporean, you would loiter around the basement.. Topman, Uniqolo shops to name a few.. Then a level higher would include Christain Audiger/Armani Exchange.. Then another level higher you would have your Yves Saint Lauren.. By this floor you can see the difference in crowd already, not just in quantity, but in quality. Something about rich people, they just look different from a normal crowd, maybe it's their dress sense, maybe it's their unlimited facial products they use or the effects of using Lamer everyday.. I dunno, but they look a little different.. Maybe they would be a 5/10 in a different class, but now that they are rich, they look probably a 6-7/10.. No joke..

Carrying on, i went a level higher, and that's where the Louis Vutton/Prada is..
You know when you know you enter a high class shop when they have people in suits opening doors for you and not just a door greeter in T shirt and jeans..
You know when you enter a high class shop when crowd is controlled even though there may not be much people in the shop and not every Tom/Mary can enter as and when they like.
You know when you enter a high class shop when there are service crews offering you champagne as you browse and not just people asking how can I help you..

My sis was in awe of the experience, but i still maintain my poker face and ask her dun throw face leh.. Must act like you've been here alot of times and it's nothing new to you.. Must also look at price tags and exclaim audibly, "wa, quite cheap what!".. Haha..

In de end my mum bought a $2k prada bag.. She asked me to choose something from the shop.. WAHAHAHHA.. But I'm not those kinda idiot that will save up $5k, live like a dog, just to carry a prada bag, so I did what a wise man does, ask for the money instead.. hahaha.. In the end, God is still good, cos i found a pretty decent wallet online at half price.. Ted Baker.. Okay what! Plus i have much more money to buy other stuff as well.. hahaha.. Niceeeee..

And I just wanna emphasize something.. People really will only listen what they wanna listen or see what they wanna see and do what they wanna do.. If someone said a particular something to you, it may not enter your thick skull and be processed. But suddenly, another person says the similar thing, and then you think, eh true ah.. IT HAPPENS..

I dunno what to say or even react to this kinda of situation.. Give the "WTF ISNT THAT WHAT I SAID" face? Or just acknowledge the other person's "brilliance" in being the only person who can think of that? Seriously..

Gan Handsome

2010-12-19T21:24:00.004+08:00

Last fri, I passed my advanced driving test! WOOHOO! 50/50 siol.. FULL MARKS! All my pre-test jitters was worth it.. I read thru the theory book 1.5 times.. And took 2 e-trial tests.. The 1st one i failed by 1 qn - 88.88%.. The 2nd one just passed - 90%.. So it seemed to me i had a 50-50 chance to pass.. But 50-50 became 50/50.. POWER LAH..

Den later in the evening, met up wif Amos n Matt for supper.. SAMURAI *SHING SHING* BURGERRRRR!!!!! Power lah.. The only reason worth eating mac.. Interesting topic though, cellgroups.. Glad that they are on the lookout for one now at least.. Was still wondering when is their breaking point to find one.. hahaha.. Ya, but going into a new CG is really no joke.. The amount of awkwardness is unimaginable.. And the suspense of knowing the new cellgroup members, whether they are of your wavelength, is unbearable as well.. Really just cross your fingers and hope for the best..

But though i felt it was a bad start for me in the new CG, i think things are getting better.. Still some awkwardness though.. And they are sincerely very nice people, and not judgemental.. Unlike me, hahahaha.. So i feel that's a very big plus point, they treat everyone nicely even though you may be different.. Well give it time really, I know what I got myself into, and honestly, I din expect myself to settle in quickly anyway.. I knew it wld take time, so I'm not at all disappointed.. Maybe just the fact it took awhile for them to include me in the CG was the only problem.. But minor setback.. It's not how you start a race, but how you end it.. Aiseh, spoken like a real pro..

Lastly, my specs broke.. Thanks to the soccer game just now.. Took a kick in the face and my specs broke.. Now I'm wearing my sexy "backup" specs.. Gan handsome really.. Of all the times, my specs had to break today when i have work tml.. Last week whole week at home, den nvr break during last weeks game.. Basket! But nvm, Gan Handsome..

Exes

2010-12-16T02:20:00.005+08:00

Cant sleep!! ARGH!! Screwed my body clock pretty badly now that work is pretty scarce this month. That's another topic.. But i haven been sleeping early, cos there isnt a need to.. It started with an innocent football match that I stayed up to watch, then it became a little more frequent and now it's a habit.. Damn! Why do these kinda habits form so easily..

Anw, back to the work story, i have no idea why, but I haven been called in to work much these month.. Normally, a normal human being would be absolutely ecstatic that they dont have to work in the month on December, but I'm not normal, I'm SPECIAL! Actually I just need the cash, but I'm still SPECIAL! It's a little weird for me cos for the past 4 months that I've worked there, I'm almost needed everyday, if not, it would be like 3/5 working days at least.. Then suddenly this whole month, I think I've worked only 2 days! And it's already half a month gone already!

The frustrating part is that now I'm in my holidays, and this might sound stupid, but I wanna work! Of cos not everyday, but 2-3days a week suits me just fine.. It's so ironic cos when I'm so free, I'm not needed, but when i have 45 school projects on the back of my head, I'm in demand.. What the hell..

The good news is, my mum is rewarding me for my exam results.. Or so she says, money go into my account then be happy lah ah.. haha.. It was pretty random, not really sure how it came about.. But basically, I'm an independent child, mostly except financially, and she never asks about my results cos I believe she knows that I know what I'm doing.. And I know what i'm doing.. So it is a surprise that she suddenly wants to see my results.. Well, no harm done since my results spelled - AWESOME.. niceeeee..

On a side note.. The nostalgia of being in a r/s came back yst as i viewed my ex-gf fb profile.. I dun view it often, but i think it was 3 or 4 am in the morning, with me unable to sleep, i saw her online on fb chat, so i clicked her name to go to her profile.. I think she still looks great.. Then the "hweeling" or memories of being in a r/s starts flooding in.. Oh well.. I can only look forward now and hope for the best..

Plus i take comfort that I'm studying right now, and being in a r/s definitely screws things up.. Not for everybody of cos, but i know i'm a sensitive guy, any "bumps" on route to examination will destroy my results.. And it's true cos me and my sis, we're sort of more similar in genes as we take on our mum's side, whereas my bro resembles more of my dad.. And those who dunno yet, my sis is really study smart and smart.. Her O levels were like single digit, got in Temasek JC, went into NUS.. But the moment she got attached in NUS, her results suffered, she became a 2nd honors student.. She told me herself, it was becos she got attached, but now sadly, she broke up with the guy already... So this kinda thing, i feel it runs my family, being sensitive..

And since we're on the subject of family genes, I used to think that guys are the ones who find it more difficult to let past r/s go, even though they may be the one who initiates the breakup, cos I felt that way, and someone told me so.. But i guess it's all about personality.. Cos my sis is the one who is finding it hard to overcome a breakup whereas her ex-bf already is in a new r/s.. Well, what can i say, exes sucks! I dun care, I'll say it again, exes suck!

What better way to end this posts with a song about exes..
The original version by Wham! - Last Christmas

and a more recent cover by Travis, which i prefer..

Enjoy!

90

2010-12-08T14:42:00.003+08:00

Now that it's over, i'm able to say it out loud.. I survived 3 weeks with just $90 in my bank acct.. Dunno whether to be proud or feel sad for myself..

I ate most of my meals at home, even packing lunch to work so as to not spend money at all.. I think the only time i spent money was on weekends, even then, it would probably just be on a meal of 10 bucks max.. I even gave offering money, u know, cos i wanna trust God that i literally wun be stranded one day with no money in my wallet and ez link card, having to walk back home from office maybe?

Yup, November was a dog's life for me.. Now that pay has come in, i look forward to a brighter December.. Cos Christmas is coming.. And New Year as well..

I know we're not so much in the American culture of kissing under a mistletoe, but i would, with no disrespect to the friends im gonna countdown the new year/christmas to, love to have my very own girlfriend beside me counting down, planting the first kiss of the new year or kissing under a mistletoe or "mee soto" as HP's tradtion goes, enjoying that moment and throwing all my worries behind.

But here i am, single.. But not without my loved ones, just a different kind of loved ones.. :)

Random thought.. How cool would it be if my relationship status could be like Single but life too complicated by undercover work to get attached.. It would be cool to be single this way, and not like single and available or single and desperate, I mean I'm not saying i am desperate please! Come on guys, you know me better.. haha..

Anw, Matt Lim, i know you are reading this blog, I can trace u cos like i said, i'm doing undercover work.. MUHAHAHA.. So the plan to BBQ at ur place for christmas still on??

Relac one corner only..

2010-12-03T12:55:00.002+08:00

I haven blogged in ages.. Funny thing is, I've been at home all this while, no work, no activities, yet no blog post.. Yet, when i'm always so tired/busy after a day's work or with school projects, I could somehow still force out a blog post.. What irony..

But I'm enjoying this period.. Nothing to worry, doing things that are somewhat satisfying.. Playing new PC games like the new Fallout game from their series, Call of Duty, Star Wars, just to name a few.. Then i started watching new TV shows like Deadliest Warrior, Chuck, An Idiot Abroad, just to name a few as well.. Plus, my cousin moved in with me, so he brought along his PS2, and i've been kicking my bro and cousin butt at Pro Evolution Soccer 2011.. As usual, pfft.. LOL

My cousin moved in with me cos his family has some financial trouble.. Basically, it's complicated, so the conclusion is that he moved into my room.. The last time some1 share the same bed wif me, it was my ex-gf.. And it has been a long time.. So I need some readjusting when he moved in.. Like I cant do the cool stuff anymore like no more sleeping naked under the covers or bringing hot chicks back to spend the night with me, you know, it's cramping my style, the dizzle on my nizzle.. LOL

Then there is my results which i got back yst.. This is one of the weirdest results i ever gotten back.. If you've read all my post u know that the subject, Corporate Accounting, is my screwed subject.. Like the lecturer screw me, then the exam setter screw me, so basically my results should be screwed.. Turns out, it was the highest, 75/100, which i still think is mathematically impossible unless they moderate the marks, which is more likely cos alot of people din score for this subject.. But who am I to complain now? Just take it n go.. With a happy face :)

Then there was this other subject where it was purely project based.. and after receiving back all the individual project scores, I definitely only had a Credit grade, but it turned out to be a Distinction grade, again, i think moderation, another happy face.. :)

The last one was also kinda unexpected.. Cos I've heard so much about this subject from my seniors.. All were unanimous that it's a common sense paper.. It was one of those ambiguous papers where there is no right or wrong, just how you argue your case.. And if you dun study also sure pass, so they say.. I heard from my friend that another of his friend, same batch as me, failed this subject.. And i only managed a Credit score.. And a low credit score may i add.. Not as easy as it seems lah!

But overall, I am pleasantly surprised, this results were better than my previous semester.. 2 D 1 Cr.. Previous semester i had 1 High Distinction, 2 Cr.. But it's unfair to judge based on that HD, cos it was a giveaway subject.. It's seriously easy to score for that subject, for me that is.. LOL

And I've changed to my new CG already.. I pray none of them find this blog cos I dun really have the best first impression so far.. But it's still a first impression, so it can still change.. But yea, the initial feelings are bad.. I dunno is it becos they too long nvr had some1 new join them, cos I certainly feel left out at times.. Or maybe it's the way their cg operates, then in that case, in brutal honesty, i think it's quite bad..

For e.g, in the 2nd week of joining the cg, they nvr even tell me where their cg meeting is held, or even invite me to go.. And for service, they never even tell me where they were seating.. And it happened for service, i couldnt make it, and i was waiting for them to sms the seats before i told them i cant make it, you know, just wanna test the system abit.. But they never even sms the seats, nor asked why i never come.. So much for feeling welcome right..

Some may say I think too much etc.. But come on, dun we all pick up all these small signs to determine whether some1 likes us? In a courtship, issit not through all those late night calls, constant sms-ing, laughters and sharing of feelings that one is brave enuf to say the words, "would you be my partner?" So i beg to differ when it comes to all these small signs..

I mean they are friendly, but so far, only a few have initiated to talk to me, the other times, i initiated.. Well maybe in my head i expect that at least everyone in the cg will be the ones who initiate the convos.. Guess i expected too much also.. But the bad thing, mandarin speaking cg.. And u all know how i feel about groups speaking in mandarin.. I cant converse properly.. Cant catch the joke or even make a joke.. Well, all these are all initial impression.. I'm not condemning it straight away.. But see how it turns out.

The MLM Chick aka Crazy Chick

2010-11-18T23:03:00.004+08:00

So here it is.. The story.. The long awaited story of me liking a weird chick..

As my faithful readers would know/figured out.. I have a crush on this girl, also known as the redbull girl as I met her at my workplace.

But what you may not know is my attempts to get to know her. It started with adding her on fb and subsequently msn.. The conversations we had on msn were bad, like really bad.. How do i put it? It was more pleasant talking to myself when i face the mirror in comparison to talking to her on msn.. She's one of those who types a few messages on msn and then half an hour later, replies you. It's one of those things that i particularly dislike in a person. Maybe that should have been my first sign.

Later on, she quit redbull for her "studies". The inverted commas will be explained later on. What happened next was due to sheer desperation and years of "loneliness", I composed a song for her as a present for her bday and asked her out. Results were negative, that should have been my second sign already. I thought to myself, this is it, it is over, let it go...... So i thought..

Din talk much to her aft that since i din have her phone number and her msn conversation skills were comparable to a baby learning to speak - almost non-existence! And somehow i kept believing or hoping, either one, whichever makes you happy, that i could still get her. Oh yea, missed an impt part of the story, just before she quit, she spoke to me, for the very first time on msn, since I'm always the one initiating the conversation, duh.. She told me she wanted to recruit me into her "business", and would call me to tell me more..

My response? "EH YOU MLM AH?!?"
Her reply? " What is MLM?"

Moving on, that call almost never came.. Waited 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks..

Then another redbull girl had a birthday party, and I met my crush over there.. Whole night i was trying to find my chance to talk to her, and it finally came when i left the party with her to go home, not my home, as in like our own home. So yea, basically this is the background of the story. What you need to take away from this background is that it was always me who initiates conversations and she is the one "playing hard to get".

So, after that party, the call finally came.. The call to recruit me to her "business".. She invited me down to take a look, keeping everything very discreet, only knowing to just come down and take a look for myself. I mean fine, we are guys, we have dicks, FOL - Fuck our lives, that is our weakness, so i went down.

Turns out, it is MLM. So there i was at their HQ, they explained every shit thing to me, their products, their success stories, etc etc.. Now to bring you back to the inverted commas of her "studies" as mentioned above. Obviously she quit redbull becos she dun have time for MLM, studies and her redbull job, but in order not to reveal her MLM background, it slipped her mind to mention that to me.

Whole time before i went down her "business", she never ever mentioned the word MLM. Even when i confronted her with a ,"You doing MLM?" at the conversation as mentioned above, she still deny it with a ,"what is MLM?". Well, it wasnt the first time she lied to me or failed to mention stuff to me. Not gonna list down but yea, basically she wasnt a very honest person. And for someone who wants to change peoples' impression of MLM, not being totally honest isnt the way to go, so is really FAIL. Sorry, it's not fail, it's EPIC FAIL! It just made me feel MLM is a lie to begin with, and that everything else you said, is not worth believing.

Thou I told her I'm not ready for this, she probably somehow still believed she could convince me to join. Cos after this encounter, we exchanged numbers and we started smsing. We started to have a REAL conversation. Amazing... FYI, the very first time when she initiate to speak to me on msn abt MLM, I still went to make fun of her by saying you only talking to me now since you want me to join ur business, and of cos she denied this intention. DUH

I agreed to join her MLM group for dinner on Depavali, yup the dick took charge again. It was all going well, i was getting to know her better, talking more, but then it changed. Maybe she felt she is wasting too much time on me, cos the request for me to come down to join her at the MLM HQ was more and more persistant. At first, after every conversation, it was just a casual invite to join her classes at MLM. FYI, MLM conduct classes to "train" them, or teach them to cheat on more ppl, whichever you wanna believe.

Then it became less conversations and more insistence on coming. I was never gonna go back MLM HQ cos it felt like a non-believer in church and the christains keep asking you to go down for altar call. At that moment in time, the phrase, "People dun care how much you know, until they know how much you care", really applies in my situation. I finally fully comprehand that statement. The way she "reached out" to me, was really EPIC fail.. It was the old CHC way of reaching out, insisting people to accept Christ. *Disclaimer - I dun speak for the whole church though*

Plus it was always me who initiate to speak to her, what kind of reaching out is that?? And always hiding stuff from me?? Really EPIC EPIC FAIL! So by now i was pretty much turned off already. How turned off I was, you may ask? I told Amos this, this is the first time I refused to reply a sms from the girl I like.. That is how bad it was..

When I finally did reply her, I told her plainly, straightforward, I am not the guy you are looking for to join this business, etc etc.. FYI, she claims she selects "quality business partners" to join her.

Her reply? She claimed she has alot of "quality leaders" under her care, and she thought she could "groom" me -YA RIGHT, she just joined the business half a year back only, to be like one of them but it seems I am an unwilling learner, and she thought I was more than that. Following this reply was the "parting shot". She carried on saying that in the end it was up to her to decided if i was capable or not, and after hearing abt my family situation, she thought i would want to do something about it. FYI, I shared with her my family situation cos she shared hers first, so i felt obliged to return the favor.

My reply? I said I think your mind is made up on what you think of me alr.. But at this point, nothing i say will matter alr..

My exact thoughts? FWAH, you bitch, wanna bring mother into this situation ah, wanna play mother now ah.. My mother would be more happy that I din join MLM ah! Dun talk until as if you know my mother please..

FYI, to the MLM people, they keep focusing on two aspects to "cheat" people.. First, most common, do u wanna work office 8-5 job for the rest of your life? If not join MLM.. Secondly they will ask you if you paying ur own school fees, cos the norm there is they earn so much that they can afford their own school fees and dun wanna burden their parents, so they wanna play the filial card with you.. If you dun pay your own, you are not filial, dun matter what other good qualities you have, if parents pay your school fees, you deserve to be struck by lightning and die.

And as for her "parting shot", when i read it, i wanna laugh.. Like i said about how my old job, the airport job supervisor tried to give a "parting shot" to "scare" me, it was pathetic.. This crazy chic, tried to play the "guilty" card, but fail.. I dun feel a thing sorry, cos MLM is stupid, sure there are success stories, if you can bluff people well then good for you, hope you can sleep well at night.. And the way she phrased it, trained quality leaders? Haha, I leave it to you guys to decide how lame that even sounds.. If any of them is trained to be like her, i would be seriously worried.. hahaha..

Well, this is one of those stories before i meet the right one for me, I wun give up hope, I believe the right one is out there somewhere.. And when the time is right, it will all fall into place.. Patience.. :)

Hot/Crazy Scale

2010-11-12T00:02:00.005+08:00

Okay, i have officially stop liking the redbull girl.. Not hate, but just dun like.. Hate is a strong word.. It's safe to say now, i think she's crazy.. And according to Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother, a girl is allowed to be crazy, as long as she is equally hot, also known as The Hot Crazy Scale.

And in order to pass the hot crazy scale, you have to be above the "Vicky Mendoza Diagonal"

In short, she failed the Hot Crazy Scale, cos her crazy-ness cannot be matched with her hotness.. She was entering the, as how Barney says it, the "Shelly Galezby Zone". hahaha.. I shall explained it another time, in the mean time, understand what i'm trying to say with this video..

Lay your hand

2010-11-08T00:29:00.003+08:00

Service this week was awesome.. It was one of those once in a few years kinda service..

Pastor Phil was "preaching" this week.. "Preaching" becos he nvr really did preached.. He just gave an altar call for those who wanted a renewed touch of God in their lives and as well as a blessing for your future.. That was what i could recall about the altar call, hahaha, somewhere along that line lah..

And i cant remember the last time a pastor that gave that kind of altar call, cos honestly, I believe it's damn shag for the pastor lah.. Laying hands on thousands of people each service.. I was hesitant to go down at first, but i was glad to see the whole cg went down for it, so i followed suit.. Thank God i went down. I cant remember the last time i was prayed for.. It felt really good, really blessed, awesommmeee..

On a side note, playing soccer twice this week has made my legs taken a beating.. A number of blue-bracks have appeared.. Yup, i have bruised thighs cos they all are on my thighs.. Not just one side, both sides also have.. wth man.. But i loved this week cos i had lotsa time to rest.. Now, I'm ready to go town.. hahaha..

*It's like I feel like i know you, but then again, do I?*

Tears in Heaven

2010-11-04T21:38:00.004+08:00

It's been an interesting week for me..

Firstly, this is the week my holidays start! Well, I still had to go to work, so not much of a holiday if you asked me.. Thankfully, I wasnt required to go to work yst and today.. And tml is a holiday.. Niceeee.. A much needed rest..

Secondly, I was MLM-ed as well during the week.. Yup, my friend brought me over and explained in detail what their company were doing, and honestly, that company is doing pretty well.. The products that they sell are creditable and worth buying if you see a need to.. And I can say I understand this MLM company better now, since there were some companies who "destroyed" the word MLM, like sunshine empire..

Unfortunately, that's not my thing, i din feel comfortable to commit to it.. And honestly, i would have joined, if i see myself with a future doing it, but right now, no go, cos i dun forsee my network of friends needing any of their products.. Plus hey, u need some capital to start doing MLM, and I am like broke, seriously broke.. But that's another story..

Yes, i know what some of my friends are thinking, "see lah, keep buying online clothes, xi zup gor pieces!".. But trust me, it has nothing to do with the online shopping.. I had more than enough money when i start online shopping.. The details on how my money has diminished are not gonna be revealed cos it's a lil sensitive to share here..

And I never tot people would chance upon this blog from my FB profile, cos most people I know, are ignorant about these stuff.. Cos honestly, it dun matter to them what i blog here.. But hey to you who is reading my blog secretly, you sneaky little .... hahaha.. Drop a message, i wont bite, promised!

Lastly, I just wanna share this video.. One of the older collaborations for 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake and Tsunami.. It's a cover of Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven, which is already a great song, but right now with alot of big stars singing it like Elton John, Ozzy Osbourne, Steve Tyler and Slash on the guitar..

Enjoy!

Stay the same

2010-10-28T23:29:00.003+08:00

BTW, one fine day when I was buying lunch at expo during my studying trips there, i heard this song..

Joey McIntyre - Stay the Same

If you listened to it again, doesnt Bruno Mars - Just the way you are, have the same meaning as this, but in a remix version? Well, nice song anyway..

Screwed

2010-10-28T22:44:00.004+08:00

Exams are over!! WOO!! Such a relief really.. As if a big boulder was lifted off my shoulders..

Finally a much needed rest! I was really shagged out near the end of the sem, and reached boiling points when my group mates do not produce the sort of work I deem fit to submit.. Or the fact that I can only study abt 5 hours a day cos anything more, i cant concentrate or absorb any more knowledge..

I just wanna sum up this subject that i take this semester, Corporate accounting.. Taken from a quote off The Big Bang Theory, "What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis? The answer - screwed" SCREWED.. The most suitable word i can use to describe my batch who took Corporate accounting this semester..

It all started with our class test and my obnoxious lecturer who gave a stupid advise to do my tutorials and dare gloat about it as if we din listen to him. We did do the tutorials, but not ALL, cos it was near impossible!

Next, he came up with this theory that, if we din voice out our questions about our project in front of the whole class, he will not answer our questions after that in private becos it isnt "fair" to other students. Firstly, if we make the effort to come down after class to ask you, I dun see why is it unfair to other students. Cos if we give a shit to ask about it, den credit to us.. But NOOOO, he wanted to play an exclusive asshole this semester..

*Inserting note here -> Every1 else i know say he is a good lecturer, and he is helpful by providing important notes to us, but all were dumbfounded when I told them tales of his evil side*

And the last part, no fault of his, but still screwed me pretty badly was the final exam.. Let me explain first about certain subjects and their respective exams.. For e.g, if you took a Principle of Accounts (POA) exam, you know the "big" question would be the Balance Sheet or Profit & Loss Statement or if you took a Economics exam, the "big" question would probably be the graphs part if memory doesnt fail me. These are "big" questions cos they are the hardest to understand and score, plus the lecture notes would focus on these topics.

It's similar for Corporate Accounting, and from past year papers, the "big" question can go as high as 40 marks! It's no surprise that this "big" question covers over 3 lectures! Yes, 3 lectures just to cover this topic. Naturally, using common sense, you'd concentrate on it cos if u can score for it, u know half the battle is won already..

BUT, RMIT decided to screw with us.. They set an easier question for those 3 lecture topic and gave it 18 marks.. 18 marks!! I spent so long trying to understand all the entries and theory, just to score 18 marks! I focused on the "big" question and did not study those smaller ones... As a result, I am screwed..

Even the obnoxious lecturer whom I met after exiting the exam room, was surprised that the "big" question was awarded so little marks, to think he concentrate so much on it.. He concluded it was a "good" paper cos it covered all the topics.. SCREW HIM really.. It's only a "good" paper if I can score well..

This is the story of how I was screwed.. And probably a picture that best reflect on how I felt/look after the paper would be this..

Don't Settle

2010-10-19T21:49:00.003+08:00

I'm improving.. 7 hours today! HA!

I'm not so sure why, but i received some weird comments on my posts.. I'm talking about posts that are a few months back, but people commented like a few weeks back.. Weird right?!?

I was watching the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother that aired yst.. And the morale of the story, guys are suckers for girls.. No matter how much a guy wanna deny it, they would change momentarily just for them..

This lead me to my next point.. Something similar happened this week.. Not to me.. But a friend of mine.. This friend of mine, kept denying it, but really, we all know it..

It started with me asking him to study together during our study week.. But he kept saying, aiya, see how lah, in a nonchalant manner.. Days later, I saw a female friend of his asking him to study together.. In an enthusiastic manner, he replied, in his own words, "YEA ALRIGHT. sometime this week i guess. will bbm you :)" WA STILL GOT SMILEY SIOL..

After confrontation, with such undeniable evidence, he still insist! Insist his innocence.. But we all know the true story.. Just like the latest episode in How I Met Your Mother, where Ted said ,"this isnt about the girl, this is about the building". The building in this instance would be to study together.. But Ted later admitted that it is about the girl.. So yea, it's true, we know it.. BUSTED! hahahaha..

Another thing on my mind is the phrase "don't settle".. It's weird really.. It all started last week when i met up with Hp and Matt, but Matt came later so i chatted with Hp first.. And he talked about starting salaries.. He mentioned examples of people who's starting pay is $8k a month or $10k a month.. And that it made him change his mindset on starting pay.. Somehow, the phrase "Don't settle" fits the bill here..

And from my previous post, I talked about a friend who jumps from r/s to r/s.. And I concluded to myself while i was spacing out today when i was studying, never settle for something less or second best.. And when I got home, it happened again, I was watching this link on Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, giving a speech at a graduation.. He shared about his life lessons and one lesson was not to settle..

He said the only way to be truly satisfied is to believe what you are doing is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven found it yet, keep looking and DON'T SETTLE! As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking, DON'T SETTLE!

It's like deja vu man. Steve Jobs likens finding a job to finding a partner and to not settle till you found the one. And before watching the video, the phrase "Don't settle" came up to me in two situations, "starting pay - work", and "relationship - partner". I think it's a clear message what I need to do for both.. hahaha..
Don't settle for my career..

Don't settle for my love life..
And lastly, an internal joke, with plenty of pun intended,
EH MILO PENG! MORE ICE! FASTER!!

Nerd week

2010-10-18T22:17:00.003+08:00

!WARNING! This is gonna be one of those summary post.. Where everything written is a summary..

Study week has started.. First attempt, 6 hours.. OKAY WHAT.. But I think i need to do more.. maybe 8?? Later try to study again..

I like what my colleague said to me... Don't be discouraged.. It speaks for itself really.. When you fall, pick yourself up.. When you fail, try try again.. Niceeee.. I will do just that..

It's never nice hearing bad news, especially if it concerns your family.. And I feel down really, seeing the plight of my family members.. My heart is heavy and I pray God bless and protect each and every one of them..

And I'm sick... Sore throat again.. Damn this virus! Really not helping my study week, but I'll press on that's for sure..

And last of all, on a totally unrelated topic, I'm pretty disgusted with someone, a friend you might say.. I'm not saying he/she is a lousy friend, but the mindset behind him/her is really .... I dun wanna say it lah.. It's times like this that make me really wonder if there's justice in this world..

The people who abuse the word relationship seems to get attached all the time, while people who treasure them, me, cant seem to catch a break with it.. Hahaha.. Hey, I never anyhow jump into relationship okay!
Well who am i to judge? Hope it ends well for him/her then.. Like I'm really hoping for that, genuinely, cos I think it's kinda sad for people to keep jumping from one r/s to another..

Notice i said relationship.. I mean it's okay to date to know someone, but date and r/s are two different things.. r/s is like post facebook in a r/s liao that kind, i love you kinda thing.. Dating is the test water phase, and saying i love you like how Ted Mosby does it, will end up being weird.. I felt the need to explain this over and over again in my post becos sumhow people just dun get it.. Yup, it baffles me..

Last of the last but not least, I pray for my studies.. I hope I can do better this semester.. Alrite peace out!

Irony at it's best

2010-10-11T01:17:00.003+08:00

It's ironic.. I remember some time ago i was encouraging vanessa to join a cellgroup cos at least you would have friends to go down service with.. Fast forward that and look at the situation now, Van is happy with her cg, going service even on a sunday morning, while I rather sit alone than with the cg.

How things have changed so dramatically since that fateful day, i was so convinced that what van needed was a cg, but now, i am convinced that i am far better alone.. hahaha.. Funny how life is.. If i were her, i would give the cellgroup talk that i gave her to myself, just to make it feel even more ironic... hahaha..

Let's see the stuff that has changed.. Van went from a lone ranger.. To joining Hp cg for a brief moment, and then later joining her friend at another cg at a different service, and now, even Hp joined her in her cg, living happily ever after.. And I'm really happy for them, becos that's what cg is suppose to feel like, and they have it..

For me, our cg clique became to fall apart, the girls all got attached and started going their own ways.. Left the 3 amigos.. Amos now works on the weekends.. Matt is more lazy than usual.. So now, i'm the lone ranger.. Hahaha.. I think it's like really funny, to see the reverse lifes that we now live..

I thought about what went wrong, and i know the solution.. I need to change cellgroup.. It would be still a risk cos, what if i changed, and I still dun click with the cellgrp? But on the flipside, if i do, maybe i find the right one for me.. Totally should look on the bright side right?

There is another problem that needed to change.. My attitude.. I mean, i know i cant be with my current cg, cos i have tried to mingle with them, but i felt that really no go.. So at least i know i tried before i gave up trying.. And if i were to move on to a new cg, am i prepared to go through that awkward process of making new friends, small talks, facing "weird" or really different people from me and stuff.. Am i prepared for that? Cos sure i can change cellgrp, but if I am not prepared, there wun be a point in changing cellgrp right?

So bottom line, am i prepared to make the change, and honestly, with the life i have now, where i dun even have time to go down town to do shopping, the answer is No..

Let me paint a picture of a guy with no life.. He starts the week with work, almost from Mon-Fri.. The times where he dun go to work, he is busy doing his project work at home the whole day. And after work/project, he still has classes to attend at night which is at a school far away from home. By the time he reaches home, it's time for bed. Come weekends, he always takes sat to destress with his fav sport, soccer and devoting his time to God after that.. Then he finally gets to see his friends once during the whole week, and catch up with dinner.. On sunday, project is always on the agenda.. So he stays home or spends time with his family at least.. So his life passes by each week with this same routine, unable to do anymore, unable to do any less..

I guess it sums it up when i say i dun even have time to go town to shop or even attend cellgroup anymore.. Much less get to take time out to go out and get to know my hypothetical new cellgrp people.. So it's decided then? Be a lone ranger for now till I'm ready, whenever that is.. Or maybe i should quit my job? Hmmm.. Time will tell..

I should be on TV

2010-10-10T00:48:00.003+08:00

I have been hearing this word excessively during the past few months.. EMO.. Especially from my colleague, thanks Pearl. Honestly, I'm being 100%, totally frank with myself, I dun think I am THAT emo.. I mean emo came into use when people started slashing their own wrists, being overly paranoid, dress goth-like and stuff.. I think I'm a little paranoid, but definitely not overly paranoid, cos i definitely seen and heard worse real life examples.. Controlling partners are the most common..

But yea, i know i'm different from most guys.. Most guys do the clubbing/smoking/drinking/partyingallnightgrindinggirlstalkaboutgirlspornnakedetc.. I'm different from them, i know, but i dun have to be categorised as emo right? I mean like, why cant i be the unique category? Or as my colleague would phrase, SNAG - Sensitive New Age Guy..

But heck, I know who i am, so nothing said is gonna bring me down.. But if there is one thing i learnt from my departing colleague, is to chill dude.. Yea, i will take that advise when i start thinking too much.. Cos i admit, thought run wild when things are left open ended.. But doesnt that happen to most people?? I mean, on How I Met Your Mother, Ted Mosby becomes this really sweet guy, everyone goes like, isnt Ted's character the sweetest? But i bet in real life, i bet people regard him as EMO since he is always talking about finding "the ONE".. Well, i guess TV makes people look cool.. I should be on TV.. hahaha..

Lastly i just wanna say, your favourite household chore has gotta be hanging the clothes, cos you seemed to love hanging me on high..

Btw, interesting pic..

Oh God help me..

2010-10-05T05:21:00.003+08:00

Fwah.. Going crazy already..

I dun really understand why am i so stress, or let me put it another way, why the hell am i stress and awake at 5am in the morning when all my other group mates are all sleeping soundly.. WHY?!?

Yes i know the world is fucking unfair, so then how? Really gonna suck thumb meh? Or am i gonna fight for my life.. fight for my own justice? The bible tells me to love my neighbour as i would have loved myself, at the same time, to love my enemies.. Right now, i can totally see the link becos those who i consider friends in school are kinda my enemies..

I really wanna gan my "friend" now, cos he is fucking useless.. Minimum effort and freaking lousy work quality.. It's so bad that when i read it, i feel i just wasted my life reading it..

Why? Why are people so fucking selfish? Just becos you got fucking jobs i should fucking give a damn? I take fucking leave to do the fucking job, but you just sit there at work, do nothing for the project, go on your fucking vacations, go have your fucking wedding dinners, earn your fucking money, earn the fucking grade, while i am here, losing out on money i can earn, losing on sleep which i could have gotten, not forgetting precious time, just to give you your fucking grade..
Why?

I am dead pissed lah.. Oh God help me..

I'd never sing of love if it does not exist

2010-10-04T00:03:00.003+08:00

The verdict is out.. REEEEEEE.. Jected..

Well, guess i'm a little disappointed.. Really din raise my hopes that high.. I have no idea why, i was having dreams the past two days about her going on a date with another guy already.. Weird, i kinda took it like it was an indicator already..

In case you all were wondering, i guess i can share it now, since it's over.. I din wanna say it, cos i din wanna "curse" it.. Yep, i was asking this girl out. But yea, rejected.. I cant really say the whole story, cos basically it's kinda long.. Basically, it was her bday, i made her a powerpoint slide with a song for her.. Kinda lame if i tell people that i sent a powerpoint slide as a present, but i think if you are the receiver, you would appreciate it.. It's my present, i have to praise it.. LOL

And i asked her out to a dinner/movie, but failed.. Life goes on i guess..
Probably a lesson learnt would be, how i would like to put it, in the lyrics of Paramore's The Only Exception:
"That was the day that i promised
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist"

Hope this feeling doesnt get worse as the days go by.. Hate that sinking feeling.. But I trust God's timing, obviously, it wasnt my time to get attached...

But I just wanna say, even thou the girl said let's be friends at the end, deep down, not just in my hearts, in every single human being's heart, they know that they know, saying let's be friends after rejecting sum1 is really just a pleasantry. It's just manners to say it.. It's not for real that they really wanna be friends with you, they just dun wanna add salt to your wound..

I dun blame her, i know what it means obviously, so i wun pursue any further.. Next target.. LOL..

So enjoy, The Only Exception - Glee (cover)

Just kill me already.. Really

2010-10-03T00:20:00.002+08:00

Wa fed up leh..Tired of doing everything for a freaking project.. Tired of even doing my part of a project..

Really reaping what i sowed last time, in multiple folds sumore.. Sometimes i look at my project mates, i dunno whether to feel happy or sad.. Sure they "do their part", they write stuff and send to me, but if it is so damn freaking messy and unrelevant, then isn't it almost similar to not sending me anything? At least you dun send me anything, i dun have a head egg trying to figure out what the hell you trying to say..

Last week, one of them flying off overseas on sun, so when ask to meet on sat, say actually i din planned to do project on sat.. ZZZZZZZzzz.. Seriously WTF.. Not even asking to meet just before she fly..

This week, another one go overseas, nvm, at least he did his "job" before leaving.. FWAH, after reading up, KNN, he machiam write freestyle ah.. Su ka su ka, wanna write what just write what.. The textbook got a freaking format to follow, nvr follow, prob he dun even know lah.. ZZZZZ.. Now i "take over" him, in de end, write my own from scratch again.. SI BEI SIAN AH..

AM I WORKING WIF F**KING RETARDS?!?!?!

Then the same one that say din plan to do proj on sat, say no textbook, cannot see the example to follow.. FWAHHHHH... Just kill me already lah.. Really.. I really feel like just jump down than face this shit that i have to clear up..

Gan no mood to do anything, then now required to clean up shit, the feeling really, cannot describe leh.. Really leh, not that i wanna be mean and call them retards.. But come on lah, none of them read the freaking textbook meh?? NONE leh.. wa.. pek chek leh..

FWAH, aiya.. really bwg already lah.. i gan no life lah.. really.. clean up this kinda shit..

Just the way you are

2010-09-30T23:49:00.003+08:00

Cos the world better prepare.. For when I'm a billionaire..

I'm a listener of Bruno Mars now.. haha.. Interesting turn of events.. I'm not a listener of radio, so i never really heard his two singles, Billionaire and Just the Way You Are.. But after watching new season of Glee, they did a cover of Billionaire, I was blown away by the singer's voice initially, then the song kinda kicked in, and i thought, nice song.. hahaha..

Then i started listening to just the way your are, nice MTV btw, pretty girl, good animation, meaningful lyrics.. I can understand why so many love his songs, cos it's what people desire..

Anw, i just wanted to say, school/work has been exhausting recently.. I'm running out of steam.. Everyday is harder to wake up.. Harder to pull my socks up to do the projects.. I cant wait for after exams and get some REST! Like really drop everything and just screen saver mode as Matt would say it.

For now, I guess I need to ask God for sum supernatural intervention, strength that is, cos i dun think i can last.. SHAG SIOL!

To those who know, fingers cross, but at the same time, expectation lower cos lower disappointment as well.. Hope it's fate(God's plan)..

Happy Post..

2010-09-27T22:11:00.002+08:00

I know it seems like i'm going thru sum love slump again, but i guess it's just the things i blog about that make it seem that way.. Frankly, it isnt as bad as it sounds.. hahaha.. I'm still living life.. Honest..

This is just a crush, plus i dun even know the girl.. Not like i even had the chance to.. I cant even get a decent conversation with her! Hahaha.. Well those close to me know the story.. But all these feelings i'm feeling cant even be compared to the slump of the breakup.. That's how mild it is..

I dun really know why i'm blogging this to clarify, not like any has asked me to take it easy on myself.. But after reading my past few posts, it felt like as if i'm going thru some slump but the truth is far from it. You're just more sensitive when you have a crush, but not till like bf/gf kinda sensitive, so it's all chill..

Anw, i'm reminded that my sis told me that my mum thinks i'm emo.. *CLAPS HAND*.. I think i should go for the goth look, guyliners and stuff already.. Start slicing my wrist and shit.. Even my mum thinks i'm an emo, beat that..

On a nicer note.. My group mate thinks i'm a good project mate.. How about that?! Hahaha.. I thought that day will never come..

Yea, so understand this place is my place to rant, that's why it looks so emo.. It's my way of not bottling the feelings inside.. So i guess it's good for my health?

I shall end with a happy thing.. Last friday was a great day for me, cos firstly i passed my BTT! WOO! And lastly, i scored with my presentation.. From what we observed from the group who presented, the teacher posed them questions after presenting. So after our group presented, we were getting prepared, dug our shellscrape, prone inside, waiting for arty arty arty already.. And the teacher said, okay good, i have no questions for u all.. STRAIGHT AWAY, WOOO, YES LAH..

Btw, this teacher quite like to aim our group sumore, so we were pretty shocked.. It was a good day.. Plus when i presented, i had this idea to link the theory to boyfriends, and that made the lecturer smile/laugh, my friends were commending me on that.. So it was a really really good day for me.. See, this blog still has some happiness.. hahaha..

Let's end with a happy song..

We should Wii

2010-09-26T22:36:00.004+08:00

I'm not gonna lie.. I'm affected by that incident.. Cos i dunno what the hell just happened.. And i cant get an answer for it.. U know that kinda feeling, the itching to know but cant do anything about it feeling.. Well, why do you do this to me??

On a lighter note, Wii is seriously a great group entertainment console.. Especially those games where you get up on your feet and play, like the Wii sports... But those games like Call of duty, NO GO really... That should be left to PC to play..

Guys, we should really consider investing in one.. And maybe Saturdays would be easier to decide what to do.. Tio bo?

My Dream Car is.....

2010-09-24T15:33:00.002+08:00

YESSS LAHHHHH. Finally passed my Basic Theory Test..
I'm not too sure why is it such a big deal to me, considering most people "never study" and they could tie one hand at the back, and use the touch screen with their pinky only and still pass.. But i i feel it's pretty insane to get 90% to just pass the test.. And after doing the test today again, yes, i failed once, so i'm not so gifted after all, i realised, it's really largely dependent if you are more blessed.. Cos i realised each machine post different questions. And the ones i attempted today are much easier than the ones that i remembered during my first attempt..

And i dunno why, there were like freaking alot of blangahs taking the test during my time slot.. Like freaking alot.. almost half the class was blangahs.. Wonder they need the license for what.. Imagine next time in the future, you stop at the traffic light, to your left, is a banglah blasting his Tamilpop, on your right, another blanglah blasting his Hindi trance.. FWAH.. HG..

And yes, i saw my dream vehicle yest on my way to school.. When it comes to a dream car, most people would think, the fastest car in the world, the Bugatti Veyron, or a posh Lamborghini, or the classy Rollsroyce.. For me.. This is it..
Yup, it's the old school Volkswagon Van.. I think it's damn nice lah.. Drive also like leypat only.. Can use as a family car also.. Occasionally a good place to shag the missus in if you know what i mean.. hahaha.. Next time wife kick me out of the house, OKAY WHAT, sleep inside the van only..

If i wanna zheng, also can.. Looks like this..
OKAY WHAT.. wahahahaha

But the one i saw yst, was pretty fail also, cos the color combi was bad if u asked me, white and purple.. PURPLE?!?! Cannot lah.. Thou i think the white and red combi is pretty decent..

Swee swee swee..

I think i just got ahead of myself again.. Just passed a BTT only, think of dream vehicle liao.. Well, dreams are free after all right?

Honestly..

2010-09-21T07:57:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, you already know the answer deep inside of you, but somehow, you still managed to convinced yourself that it's alright.. Well, it's really a no go for me.. Honestly..

It's really running against a brick wall, hoping to bang through.. The signs are there.. Your shoulders are hurting from the banging, you are shag from all the run ups, but sumhow you still choose to believe that you can do it.. Weird uh?

I wonder if the supernatural can apply to this.. Can this be counted as a "crisis" and be solved by God?? Will God intervene or am i suppose to stop running against this brick wall by myself? Hmmm..

Keep holding on..

2010-09-19T11:17:00.003+08:00

I think this is pretty accurate if you asked me..
Deadlines are all nearing... Projects are piling already.. GG.. I know i said i am finally glad i have a "dream team" now for my projects. Turns out, nothing is too good to be true. Even now in my dream team, there is still one that "tests the fire"..

To spare the details, we were all supposed to do up one set of answers, he din do it, instead he said he would consolidate, den he took ages to consolidate. After consolidating, still din offer to help out to do up our appendix, and still threw the work to me. I was still alrite wif it, till he was all apologetic and said he wish he could do more, so i asked him to do the appendix, den he diam diam.. SWEE..

Nvm, i very good at sucking thumb, i can do it.. Give him the next easiest job, print the reports, also cock up.. Last min panic to go highlight the areas of the report we took info from, he could only sit one side play his Itouch and PSP cos he "dunno" where we get our answers from..

On the brighter side, at least i have the other hardworking partner that i can work in tandem with, if not really, no difference from last sem, every major thing i bao..

Probably Pst Kong's message yst came at the right time as well.. Crisis..
What must we do in a crisis
1. Forgive
2. Don't ka lan ka bou (panic)
3. Admit God's sovereignty
4. Hold on to your core fundamentals
5. Be willing to make changes
6. Don't limit God

Forgive, a simple word to spell but a difficult action to do. If u asked me, i dun think i've even forgiven my group mates last sem for their atrocious behavior. And that is what i really need to do.. Plus honestly, i wasnt pleased wif God regarding my results last sem.. I know i have no right to demand the best results since i din put in my best effort, but i guess sometimes, in the face of disappointment, we just try to push the blame to other things as well..

I just felt that, wif God, this is what i get? I am gonna do it on my own from now den.. But that's the thing right, when we face a crisis, we gotta stand strong n not waver from side to side.. And that is what i really need to brush up on.. Learning to hold on to God..

2nd Song

2010-09-17T11:34:00.001+08:00

2nd Song is out liao.. Swee.. Give me a shoutout to tell me what you guys think!

Final liao..

2010-09-15T16:10:00.003+08:00

Posted the final version of my song.. I honestly dunno, tell me which is better guys..
Vote on my poll and drop a comment!

Seasons

2010-09-15T01:57:00.002+08:00

Not by my timing, but by God's timing..

Yup, each time if i take matters into my own hands, it isnt successful, so what the heck, if it isnt meant to be, it isnt meant to be..

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."

Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

Just extracted it from a note posted from A R Benard's Facebook.. A word in season? I dunno..

To those that understands what's going on, sure the initial excitement is there, but honestly, i dun have high hopes, and it wld be for the best if it stayed that way, lesser expectation, lesser disappointment..

Obviously deep down, i hope a miracle happens.. Well, we'll see lah..

All we ever needed to do

2010-09-12T03:33:00.003+08:00

Hands up if you've seen Vanessa post this message more than a few times already, " Guard your heart"? *hands up*

I never quite fully grasp the understanding of it, i mean it makes sense, but it's just not close to my heart. But after today, Pastor Phil preached, I realised that sentence really determines the life that you live.

Pst Phil said two meaningful descriptions about your heart.

1. If your heart goes wrong, your whole life goes wrong.

Which is true becos how many times, when faced with a decision in life, we know the correct thing to do in our head, but our heart tells us something else. Something illogical, something that just "feels" right.. And this feeling we have is subjected to the condition of our heart. So when people always tell us, to follow your heart, it can be a very dangerous statement, cos we do not know the condition of one's heart.

If you've guard your heart, and when push comes to shove, your mind tells you it's not gonna work, but your heart tells you, trust in the Lord. That's the correct example of following your heart.

If your heart is full of bitterness, it could be totally opposite results becos then your mind tells you the right thing is to trust the Lord, but, in your heart, you dun trust God cos he let you down in some way or another. Wrong example of following your heart.

2. When the heart goes sour, we lose our vision.

When we become so cynical about things, and we start complaining, we lose sight of what God has prepared for us, the solution. We all expect God's grace and mercy to be like some smooth sailing path in life, but more often than not, God's grace and mercy is shown when we are in the roughest patch in our life.

And sometimes, we lose our way, we become dissatisfied. We think, does God really love us? Why does he allow me to go through such a hardship? Where is He when i need Him the most? And we start being cynical and start complaining, that we tend to focus on the problem only. But what we dun see is that God already has the solution, it's on its way, but we dun see it becos we cant be still and wait for it, but instead focus on all the complaints we have.

Yes, in case you dunno now, God always takes a long time to do things suddenly. He waits for Moses to lead the children of Israel to be sandwiched between the soldiers and the sea before He splits the red sea. He waits for Abraham to bring his son all the way to the mountain top, holding his knife, prepared to sacrifice his son before He intervenes.

So we have to wait, believe, and wait again. Cos God already had the solution even before the problem arised. Guard our hearts and be still and know that He is God. That's all we ever needed to do really.

No one else notices..

2010-09-05T21:41:00.004+08:00

I know i said there will be a work part 3, but i guess, the details that i wanna post, should be kept in private, or at least till i leave the office.. In case someone finds my blog.. LOL..

I'm only raising this issue cos i've seen it twice in two days.. And it's taking people for granted.. Yes friends do that.. shocking rite, i know..

I'm not gonna name names or describe in detail.. Gonna give a general description.. And i may be referring to another person in these situations, not necessarily me.

I realised the "small" things that friends do/don't do for you, can really affect you.. Why do i say "small", that's becos to the friend it could be insignificant, but for you, it could be stuck right in your head.

Sure, i mean afterall we are all friends, let bygones be bygones, it's about love and stuff, but hold on, we are not God, we still wanna feel loved, celebrated right? It can't be everytime only your friend feels the love, but you just feel the "love".

When i said feel the love, i mean literally feeling it, showers of blessing, actions, etc.. When i said feel the "love", i mean, just saying it, "oh of cos you're a dear friend of mine, deep down in my heart, that is where you're at", yea right, probably too deep inside that it's lost and it's always just words..

Probably some people are able to contend with that, becos their love language is words of affirmation.. but if u're someone of a different love language, then sorry, it probably just doesnt cut it for you..

I'm not sure if it's fair to say this, but are those kinda people really considered friends?

Let me put out a situation..
There's this person, who doesnt hang out wif you much, probably not there during your bday celebration or big events, but when u are in trouble, this person is there for u, is that a friend??

and...

There's another person, who you always hang out with, there with you cutting the cake during your bday or other big events, but when you are in trouble, this person isnt there for you, is that a friend?

But of cos if u ask me, it would be better to have a friend that you hang out with and is there when you need them.. That's a true friend..

Sure it's better to give than to receive, and we ought to give w/o expecting any returns.. But what if u felt tired of always giving and not receiving? Then you think to yourself, you still wanna be a friend, and you just suck it up.. but deep down, u just wanna receive back the love..

What a mess really..

FYI, i have been wanting to say this for a very long time to all the female friends out there.. It's not cool when you think that guys have to do almost like everything.. I'm tired of seeing stuff like, guys must initiate the meetup, or guys must make the decisions, etc.. GET THIS IN TO YOUR THICK SKULL, we are NOT your boyfriends.. We are NOT chasing you, friends are EQUAL, regardless of sex.. Male friends dun have to do what your boyfriend ought to do, cos that's what a boyfriend is for..

We dun need to impress you neither do we need to be the head and lead the way.. You wan us to do that? Sure, make us milo peng when we ask you lah..

When we have our own girlfriends, we do all these things by ourselves, we dun need to "practise" on you, what we ought to do for our girlfriends, we KNOW what to do, and you are NOT our girlfriends, so we are NOT obliged to do any of the things a boyfriend does.. If we initiate, then good for you, if not JUST SUCK IT UP AND STOP WHINING ABOUT US NOT BEING A GENTLEMAN..

That's suppose to be the beauty of friendships, equal status.. So dun ruin it please..

I walk this lonely road..

2010-09-02T00:07:00.002+08:00

Hi there again.. I'm not exactly sure who i'm shouting out to.. I know i have a few faithful readers, Amos, Gina, Matt, prob Van? That's all i know..

Let's continue the story.. Studies part 2..

After a few years, how some things have changed so drastically..

Back in Poly, i was this kid who's world revolved around his sweetheart. I was the kinda guy that people dread to have in their group, i was the "leecher".. I contribute zero stuff but take the results.. In all the meetings, i just stopped and stared.. Becos i dunno what the hell were they talking about..

Everytime when i'm waiting for my results, i pray really hard, i could just pass it.. Cos i always study the day before or probably 2 days before.. Sometimes i wonder how i do it really.. And when i receive it, i thank God i cleared it.. Sigh of relief..

But right now, i am this guy who's world revolved around everything except a sweetheart.. i became the guy who carried my whole team last sem for several projects, everything i bao.. I was the guy who dread having my partners in my group, they were the "leechers". I contribute 99% of the stuff, but share the results.. In all the meetings, i just sigh and sigh, becos i dunno what the hell are they doing here in the meeting..

And when i'm waiting for my results, i pray really hard, i score well for them. Cos i put in effort, thou not my best, to study for it.. Sometimes i wonder why i cant do enough really.. And when i receive it, I dunno what to say to God cos i did okay for it only.. Sigh of depression..

Yup, how things have changed.. There are definitely some perks of not being in a relationship.. No distraction during studying.. But of cos there is a flipside, the lack of encouragement when u feel down..

Honestly, I dun see myself having a girlfriend till i'm late 20s to 30s.. Let's face it, my network of friends are not that big, and part time courses are near impossible to make new friends, so dun bother mentioning knowing girls.. So that rules out any girlfriend from now till i graduate.. which wld be like 24-25 yrs old..

I aim to work at the big four companies.. For a few years to gain experience.. And if u dunno yet, yes, accountants have no freaking life.. But big four accountants have no freaking life and no freaking sleep time.. That's the difference if u ask me.. So let's face it, how in the world can i get a girlfriend with that time wif schedule?? I think i would have difficulty even attending service, meeting up friends and seeing my family already.. What more a girlfriend?!?!

So let's assume 3-4 years of experience.. 27-28? Not even confirm i would meet the special one by then.. Maybe i continue waiting for a few years, another 1-2 years, 30 years old already? 30 years get a gf only.. HG.. hahaha..

Well, this is a brutally honest assessment of my chances of getting attached, so probably mentally prepare myself for a lonesome ride through.. Unless God has a different plan, or some friend of mine, e.g Vanessa, who promised to intro me to some "nice" girls, hahaha, then maybe i have some chance after all..

Alrite, enuf shit, got to sleep, work tml.. siannnnnnnnnnnnn

OT Gao..

2010-08-28T14:48:00.003+08:00

Let's continue with Work Part 2..

I'm currently working at Redbull Singapore.. I have worked there for a month now, and i believe i joined at the wrong time, cos this is the month where they are busy to the max..

First day, i was in the office for 13 hours.. Subsequently there were a number of days where i left office around 9-10pm as well.. I even worked on sat once from 11-430pm.. All these becos of all the deadlines i had to meet.. This was the month that the send all the budget spending and sales for 2011.. So it was pretty damn hectic most of time there..

Basically my job is an ad hoc kind. Whereby when they need me, they call me in.. My basic tasks are to photocopy, open mails, sort and process invoices, do payment vouchers and cheques, filing.. That's roughly about it.. But the reason why i was so busy, is not becos of all these small tasks of cos.. They made me do the accounting of the different redbull equipments in all the 7-11 stores.. Dun be fooled by the word accounting, it wasnt balance sheets and stuff, but it was more like a checklist of all the 7-11 stores, and ticking what equipments are inside which stores..

It's simple when i explained it this way, but unfortunately none of it is simple and straightforward. I don't think i should get into details, cos it wld be pretty long. Anw, then i continued to work on the company's invoices and find out the actual spending of the company and from there, it was endless stuff about the budgeted statement for 2011..

Altogether, i can say that my current job, is much more busier than the airport job.. I sometimes even work till 1am.. But i dun regret joining.. Money aside, i like the english speaking environment there plus the flexibility.. Cos when i was working at the airport, it was either china workers, mandarin speaking aunties, or malays/indians.. So most of the time i'm speaking mandarin more than i speak english. And if u know me, I'm CLB.. My mandarin cannot stand..

So i dun really engage in their conversations, partly cos of the irrelevance of topics, but mostly cos i cant put to words what i wanna say in mandarin. So, i keep quiet like 90% of the time.. The only time i speak english is if i work with malay/indian staff.. Which, i actually talk more to compared to the chinese.. So being mistaken as a malay at the airport wasnt a bad thing for me, cos the china workers cfm speak to me in english.. haha..

And right now, my workplace, everyone use english as the main language, i can at least understand their jokes or converse with them.. There is even this ang moh guy, who speaks some singlish, he's really a funny guy.. The things he say are really unique cos singaporeans dun really use those words.. Like for e.g there was this once, he was at the door locked out, and he signalled to me to open it for him, but i was acting blur.. When i finally opened it for him, he said ," you like living on the edge right?!".. But singaporeans never use that kind of language, singaporeans would probably say, "eh you wanna die ah?!?".. So it's a different humor altogether..

The next thing is their flexibility.. Like you can eat lunch at anytime you wan.. Most companies have a strict 12-1pm lunch time, but over there at redbull, i could eat at like 3pm, no prob.. They also have like endless flow of snacks/chips/juice/milk/cup noodles/coke and redbull.. Plus there were days when i went in office at 1pm as well.. So it's all good..

Lately, cos i've been doing alot of OTs, i also ate free dinner at the office.. They would call KFC/McD/Pizza Hut, and lately, Domino's.. Domino's serves really good pizza, i would encourage all to switch to them instead of Pizza Hut.. Only thing is that Domino's is more pricey cos they dun have the 2 for 1 deals.. But i still would order quality over quantity.. Did you know overseas, Domino's is like a pizza hut, and their pizza hut's are like Domino's, i mean in terms of their size.. Domino's overseas have alot of stores while Pizza hut is like the jia lat brand, but cos in Singapore, Domino's just opened their store not to long back, so obviously they have dominated yet.. But soon enough, with the right marketing, Domino's can dominate.. We'll see..

Back to the point, i get free dinner, plus i get to claim cab home as well.. Sweet deal right, Okay what.. But that's if i do OT of cos..

I haven calculated my pay this month yet, it would be interesting to see the figures since i done so many OT hours.. got 1.5x and 2x pay.. Sweet..

Plus a bonus catch for this job, i get to see eye candy.. Yup, i get to see the redbull girls almost everytime i work.. There are a few that standout only, not all of cos.. I was telling Amos i think, there's this one girl who does the day shift, that i feel looks pretty average, but i cant describe her attraction.. Hope u all understand what i mean.. And i finally saw a very pretty one last wednesday when i was working OT.. Too bad she's in the night shift, so i dun get to see them that often unless i do OT.. haha.. Cheap thrills, but these are the small little things that can help take my mind off things.. Sometimes need a break, look up, and i look at them, den continue working.. hahaha..

Alrite, part 3 will prob come up soon.. Cos i realised i typed alot already..