Wa, so long the post..

Before the clock strikes 12 tonight, and i get one year older, I just wanna thank all the friends that stuck with me till now.. W/o you guys, life can really be meaningless and un-fun..

Over the years, many come and many go.. And i always wonder what makes a friend.. Similar interest?? Becos of the past that we had?? Or simply cos we've seen each other around for very long time?? I think the answer would be friends are friends cos of the constant decision that we make to stay as one.. Doesnt matter if lifestyles are different or even in different countries, if you decided that i aint your friend, no matter how many similar interest we have, or how near we live, we will never be friends..

So thank you guys, for making that decision..

Thanks
To my soccer buddies, Hj, Hp, Terence, Leslie n Lucas
You guys are a joy to play with!

To my msn buddies, Mildred, Sy, Terence, Van, Jx n Amos
You guys make me wanna sign in on msn!

To my hangout crew, Junhao, Johnny, Amos, Matt n Chit Yong
You guys dota the best (still in progress)!

And lastly,
To my loyal listeners, Matt, Van, Jx, Sy, Amos n Terence
W/o your ears and advise, i may well be buried 6 feet in the ground now

In this past week, i also cleaned up my room.. And i dug out some old memories.. Haha, photos and birthday/greeting/random cards of last time.. It was especially pleasant reading birthday cards from my old cg, encouragement cards and those gratitude cards.. Nostalgia..

I have a few cards that Jx wrote to me, and it reminded me of our close friendship last time when he was still attending church.. So much difference when he was on fire in church n now.. Haha!! But i thank him for all his effort to bring me n help me stay in church, if not, i really dunno where i would be now.. He really tried damn hard to make me come n help me to stay..

There were those from my former close friends/fellow helper also, like celine n qianhua.. Again, they are so much different from where they were last time, but the memories with them will forever stay with me, cos those were happy times.. How i wish i cld go back time and enjoy their company again..

There were one or two shocking ones.. Danielle was one of them.. I really forgot i was actually close to her, in fact till now, after reading those cards, i still cant remember being close to her.. haha.. The way she phrases her words, it's like i helped her in her life, i even received biscuits from her!! But i really dun remember anything, thou i recall receiving those biscuits.. Weird!! haha.. Hmmm, maybe one day i should ask her.. haha.. Prob forgot about me also..

Of cos there were the cg birthday cards.. Last time, birthday cards were so much more meaningful cos of the relationships i had in my cg.. Liyun, Jx, Qianhua, Hj, Angie, Eric and others.. Their comments on my card are so interesting, better than the card i received last week from my present cg.. Haha.. I saw one of my bday, i think it was 16th?? They kept telling me dont be lazy, almost everyone wrote that, and i remembered last time i was FREAKING !#%%@ LAZY!! hahaha.. OMG!! Really old school memories..

And i remembered giving DISCIPLESHIP last time also!! OMG!! Totally forgot about it la.. One of my member thanked me for the discipleships.. LOL.. Kan funny just even thinking about it, cos look at where i am now, how is it possible i even gave discipleship!! haha.. Was talking to amos, and he kept poking fun of me, "oh lai liao lai liao, it's all coming back already, on fire liao!" Haha.. I promise, if i even can reach back the standard last time, my first discipleship will be for amos, for always being so freaking late for service.. LOL..

It's so weird thinking back of the friends i lost in church, that now they are all so different, all partying, clubbing, smoking, etc.. And makes me wonder if i am okay or not?? Cos every1 seems to be changing around me, but i seem to be the same! haha.. And i wonder why all these changes come, and are so drastic?? Issit becos they lost it?? Or issit cos i am stubborn n unwilling to change??

Alot of people keep telling me, " You are still young, why you like that?", of cos that always comes after i tell them i never club before/ dun like clubbing.. Weird.. Maybe people still dun get me enough.. My kind of fun, and your kind of fun is just totally different.. I'd rather play soccer at cage from 12am - 4am then club... I dun mind trying diff kind of sports, if i had a willing sports partner.. That's seriously my kind of fun.. Not the loud music/drink/dance kinda fun.. So becos i dun have a sports partner, so i dun do all these other stuff that i always wanted to do.. Like how to find someone to even play table tennis wif me?? Know what i mean.. Who else here has a racket?? You get the point..

Maybe i dun change that much cos i know who i am?? Maybe i am wrong, as people have always told me, but i feel stability shows a person's character.. And so i try to be constant in my behaviour, cos it's the right thing.. I guess i just have to end off with, IT'S MY LIFE!! As long as my conscience clear, and happy, OKAY WHAT!

Happy Birthday to me (Soon)

Those were the days.. Where Amos played a sport called soccer.. haha

Haven updated my soccer section these few post.. haha..

I only caught the 2nd half of Singapore Vs Liverpool.. Two words.. CHUI..
Okay, obviously i'm kidding about the "two words".. haha
But really, the defending, was a joke.. Even i can tell you basic defending of marking a man, mark the man, not the ball.. So obvious the defenders were all ball watching.. Look and look, keep looking to see where the ball will go.. Never realised a striker behind has already ran past them..

I remember the Torres goal vividly.. Come on, look at Kuyt, when i saw him run into the box, i straight away knew from his body language, a cross in to the box for Torres.. Torres was in between the centre back n right back, and none went to spot his "obvious for all to see where he gonna go to just tap the ball in" run.. What they doing?? Hoping for offside ah?? zzz.. Jia lat..

But, i never liked the way liverpool played.. If you think about it, my brother was the one who intro me to soccer.. And since he was a liverpool fan, i should be also what, but instead, i am his arch rival's fan, Manchester United.. I dunno why, something about Man United, when they play, it makes me wanna just call everyone to The Cage at kallang to kick soccer..

It's like they're my inspiration.. You know when kids play soccer.. And they all love, let's say Man Utd.. They all go like " i wanna be Rooney", " i wanna be Scholes" kinda stuff.. Then there's always "I wanna be Rooney also, too bad, then you be Nani!! HAHAHAHA!!"

That's why there's always a player to look up to when you play soccer.. Like i wanna be Beckham, bend like him, or Ronaldo, stepovers.. I've tried to copy alot of different players ever since i started.. I tried the Giggs's direct dribbling at defenders where you constantly move the ball whlist the ball still near your feet so that opponents will not dare to tackle you..

There's the beckham frenzy.. At one point i love to do long passes at Millenium Court or always take corners and freekicks when we play field.. There's the Paul Scholes power shots where i kept shooting with power instead of accuracy.. haha.. Then of cos most recently the Ronaldo stepovers..

There was also a season of OLE, lobang-ing people.. Nike spread the OLE fever.. But the weirdest thing was, i started OLE-ing people way before that fever even started.. Way back in Sec 1 and 2 where we intro our classmates to soccer..

All were still noobs.. Nicky, Hp, Matt tan, Jun and even AMOS!! Wa.. Amos, bet you almost forgot last time you play soccer wif us right.. The keeper that cant be moved, was my nickname for him.. haha.. Cos he would just stand at the goal, and just when you thought you are gonna score, he saves the ball from going in..

Those were the days, so easy to lobang them.. haha.. Everytime i lobang, i cldnt bring myself to carry on playing n chase the ball, i straight away will stop and laugh at them.. LOL.. Si be jia lat..

Those were the days..

SUCK TWO THUMBS!

Just when i thought i have left all my burdens behind in my company and went over to HQ side to enjoy the clerk life, my company did the most gross thing ever, took me down with a low blow secretly and viciously..

This is my situation...
Being a PES down, my company's old stand was that you could be excused guard duty, but becos quite a few people have ord-ed already, they lack the manpower, hence dirty play.. My Sergeant Major called the Medical Officer to check my PES status and ask if i can still do guard duty.. The MO said can, so lan lan, i still had to do, which i still feel was pretty unfair.. But luckily, HQ branch came to my rescue and told my company i am offically a clerk that is to be wif HQ.. So my company's turn to lan lan, do guard w/o me.. SHIOK!! This happened a few weeks back

But the thing is, cos HQ has too many clerks, and also the Captain in charge of us, was on course, i slacked in bunk this whole time as i do not need to report to HQ.. So i was neither my company's men nor HQ side.. Which was still good.. Only this week when the Cpt came back, he talked to us and say will try to find work for us to do.. So, we are still stucked in the middle.. Which is still good..

But again, my company refuses to let me go, wanna die also must drag me down.. They are doing guard duty for NDP, and same prob, not enuf ppl.. So they wanna play "under the table", called my Cpt to ask to allow me to cover the guard duties, and of cos the Cpt happily agreed cos he dunno what to do with me.. So now, i'm my company's men again..

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Down PES le, do what fuck guard duty.. Become a clerk le!!! WTF clerk do guard duty??? I shall offically be the first clerk to do a guard duty ever!! In NS history sia.. CLERK LE!! It's like telling a businessman to go be a stuntman.. APA LINK?? You can really see how NS will really try their best to bastard your life.. I chuk every ultimate i can find liao.. Down PES, change vocation, post out of company, but still can kanna punked by my unit.. How to fight??? I think even if i break my arm right now, they can still somehow force me to do guard duty..

This is really the reason why, army must suck thumb.. Cos at the end of the day, no matter what you have, the army can just bastard you, anytime, anyday and anywhere..

Mary Jane

Extracting wisdom tooth was not really as easy as it seems.. Even if you get the 1 week MC, it still wld only be shiok after all the pain and blood.. And most importantly, when you eat proper food again!!

Leave the description to another post.. Painkillers are a saviour.. Really.. I wish the bleeding wld stop right now!! NOW!!

Cannot, fail.. Hopefully soon..

There is a difference between having someone to turn to and having that someone look out for you..

I got a confession.. When i see my ex's msn nick/facebook profile n stuff liddat, i still think of the good times.. And of cos the thing that comes along wif it, the what ifs.. Of cos now, i'm more in control of my feelings and thoughts and i can block out my thoughts of her and i can feel alright now w/o her..

In short, i've gotten over her..

And i really wanna dedicate these this songs to her for quite awhile back already, with the words "Cant you see the girl you used to be, the one i lost when i let go of you, oh whatever happened to ......" , cos the girl you used to be at least was a church goer and not smoking and etc.. I know we will never be back again, never held hopes about it anymore, but i really hope at least she's with God.. Maybe she will see this, maybe she wont, even if she does, my words would be of a stranger, probably holds no weight but hopefully, just hopefully..

In our time together, i've written a few songs for her, but this wld be the last song, not written by me, but dedicated to her..

The Click Five - Mary Jane

Peace of mind

I am so gonna get a NLT bible.. I realised when i read NKJV or even NIV versions, i feel like i'm reading some ancient story book, especially the NKJV.. I think the NLT version is more relevant in terms of language use today.. I THINK, just maybe, i wun feel that dread to read the NLT version compared to the NKJV..

And honestly how the hell can i obtain a slimmer figure in Singapore.. Nearly impossible please.. Almost everywhere i turn, i can find good food.. How to stop eating or even eat less.. Chui.. I exercise abit every week also cannot maintain.. How?!?

Seriously am injury prone.. Ankle chui again! And ankle injuries are one of the longest to recover cos there's really nothing much you can do about it..

As for dota, really just wanna quit playing sia.. Damn sian to keep losing.. I admit, i just aint good enough.. And maybe, never will be.. So quit la.. hahaha..

And i'm officially a S1 clerk.. But not sure what role will i be doing yet.. So, and hopefully, slack in bunk all the way.. Till ORD!! WOO!!

Talking to terence today made me cast some doubts over my future and Uni choice.. And i just hate that feeling. Like uncertainty.. Really spoils my whole mood today.. I really wanna trust God on this, but is going to SIM RMIT even God's path for me?? Sian.. Doubts doubts doubts..

At least i have time on my side, so i got till Oct to decide..

Dear God, let me have my peace of mind tonight.. In Jesus Name i pray.. Amen..

Revelation

Dota is the trend.. You are not playing dota?? You aint cool man..

Haha..

Dota-ing almost everyday man.. Friday and sat at kembagan lan shop, sun and mon at home.. Seriously, our cheaper alternative is everyone get a speaker headphone to use skype and play at home.. As for matt, i think u need a new com first..

I think maybe my mouse-keyboard skills not that good.. That's why not good in dota.. But seriously, Dota really requires good timing, teamwork and combi.. There isnt any "best" hero around, almost all can be used to owned people if used correctly.. So guys, let's stop randoming for once and stop this losing streak.. haha..

Cg on friday was pretty weird, cos i dunno why i was nervous playing guitar?? Like really dunno why.. Weird.. And aft cg, i was doing evaluation!! When was the last time i did that sia, maybe 2-3 years ago?? I dunno.. Prob 2 la.. U know, those taking items like games, and testimony n stuff, evaluate aft cg.. that thing.. Gave me a nostalgic feeling..

I know amos n matt, maybe only amos, wld always poke fun at me for being a "helper" in this cg, when really, i just play the guitar.. haha. But i really have a tiny desire to be a helper again.. Do something for God.. But, yeah, a tiny desire, not a burning one.. But i really dunno about this cg, cos i feel the age gap is really there.. I'm at this transiting stage i guess.. From young adult to adult.. Like if i join a adult cg, i wld be like childish there, but in youth cg, i am like mature.. You get the point..

But sat's svc was quite power.. Personal opinion.. I agree wif matt sometimes A.R Benard can make a simple thing overcomplicated.. Like how an apple is termed as a red fruit with seed.. But really, it is just an apple.. But i guess sometimes when you really go into detail what a word really means, you see the true meaning of it, instead of overlooking the simple things.. How a simple word like Idolatry becomes a message from God.. True that i never really go in to detail about that word.. Mention it and i'll prob think of people worshipping an idol.. But what it really meant was to find meaning or security from something..

I really wanna make God my idol and not other things.. You know like how people idolise Ronaldo for his stepovers or Beckham for his freekicks.. They idolise cos it's cool to do it.. It looks good also.. But it's never easy to make God an idol, but then again, it's never easy doing stepovers effectively or bending like beckham.. i really wanna start trying hard at least.. I wanna start reading the bible.. Pray, even the simplest things like saying grace before meals.. I really thought through like how am i gonna survive a 8-5 job and studying after ORD, cos i remember doing attachment for 3 months only, and i was shagged like hell everyday.. Add study time 3 times a week, projects, test and exams.. How?? Really..

The simple truth is, with our strength we are bound to fail, but leaning on God's strength, we can do it.. I never really quite experienced being refreshed in God's presence, like all my fatigue just gone liddat.. Peace and happiness in God's presence, yes, but not the tiredness.. I think i have lived on my own strength long enough.. It's time to let God take over..

May i do the actions and not just talk only.. I'm just afraid i will fail, and back to normal self, cos it's so easy to be where i am now.. Relac only.. And to think of it, i had my ex when i was on fire for God.. And she left when i die down.. I guess it's really true that all things shall be added unto you if you seek the kingdom of God first..

Back to camp.. And exactly two more months to ORD!!

Another chapter in NS life..

Man Utd sign Obertan from Bordeaux.. You could say he is an unknown much like how Ronaldo n Nani was when they signed.. But whether he will end up like Ronaldo or Nani, no one knows.. All i know is, he wont be in the first team line up anytime soon.. Seriously, i cant wait for the new season to start.. And if i ord-ed already and managed to find a willing man utd fan friend, i dun mind going KL just to catch them live.. But i doubt that will happen..

Man Utd line up this season??
GK- Van Der Sar
DR- Wes Brown
DL- Patrice Evra
DC- Rio Ferdinand
DC- Nemanja Vidic
MR- Antonio Valencia
ML- Park Ji Sung
MC- Michael Carrick
MC- Owen Hargreaves
FC- Wayne Rooney
FC- Dmitar Berbatov

Centre mid could really either be Carrick with Hargreaves or Carrick with Fletcher.. But i stuck with Hargreaves cos he seemed the more experienced one..

Well, i never really talked much about camp life cos basically everything is normal.. Nothing out of the ordinary.. But recently, i've down PES, and my offical posting is to S1 Branch doing clerical duties.. But becos there are too many clerks in S1, they decided they din need me and thus staying with my company..

Basically what i do now is just sai kang all the way.. Need Marshaller?? Me.. Need water point?? Me.. Need Sentry for gate?? Me.. Need to sweep floor?? Me.. Cos i dun need to do SOC, IPPT or guard duty.. Which basically skipping all the sucky things in NS..

You got to know this in NS that if you are a unfit soldier in a combat fit unit, you will be outcasted, just for the fact that you cant do the same things as the rest do.. Those people wld feel that you dun put in the effort but you reap similar rewards like off.. Which is true cos how can doing a SOC compare to setting up a water point or doing marshalling..

So the truth is, i feel outcasted by my company.. And the only friends i have is one who isnt judgemental of my PES and pokes fun of me for doing nothing in a friendly way.. And another would be my old bed buddy who was earlier posted to S1 becos he down PES.. So obviously he understands my situation, and also the fact we have been bed buddies since the beginning..

But i'm a little disappointed becos i have been slogging out wif my company for how long?? 1 year 10 months, and just becos i down PES for my remaining two months they judge me or outcast me?? It's like you know someone so long, and the next day you wake up, is like you dont even know him anymore.. You dont even talk, cant even look at him in the eye for more than 5 secs.. That kinda thing.. And it's not like i faked my down PES.. I went for a bone scan and it showed something, how the hell am i suppose to keng a bone scan?? Just becos i still can run, sprint and etc, doesnt mean the injury isnt there.. The bone scan dont lie!

I tell myself fuck it, two more months to ORD, i dun need this shit.. Cos deep down i know, who wldnt want to down PES to slack the remaining two months.. Just becos they cant down PES then they do the next best thing, outcast.. haha.. All NSF think the same la.. Prob on the outside they wld say, i wldnt down PES ah, rather chiong with my mates.. But all crap really..

So just suffer the judgemental looks for 2 months, then fuck off.. I'm not in for a popularity contest to see how many friends i can hang out with in bunk.. Or neither am i here to conform to these people so that i can fit in.. I'd rather be myself and be alone than become someone i'm not..

A week of i dunno whats..

2 months and a week to ORD..

A week of Dota-ing at lan shops.. We were owning in the start but left wondering what happened at the end as we kanna owned.. haha..

Thrash talking.. We were being owned in one of the games and that's what i resorted to.. just to get some fun out of it.. I realised the opponents were some creative-less childish people.. Used sentences like " what are you gonna do?? call police ah.." haha.. So primary school..

And have you heard the story behind The Legend of The Double Strum King?? I thought i figured it out last time, but yst, after some logical piecing of different stories, the truth was discovered.. After that, it all made senese.. LOL..

And yst also fulfilled a long time desire.. Eating Geylang Lorong 9 Beef Kuay Tiow.. Power siol.. But honestly, the quantity has decreased.. But the quality still up there..

Seriously, chit yong having a vehicle to go around really makes everything so easy.. Be it a car wif windows wind down, or a van or even a lorry.. Also can.. Also power liao.. I'd prefer the winds blowing against my face then aircon anyway.. Maybe not during hot afternoons thou.. I shld treat him to a meal nxt week.. Hope by writing this down here, i wld remember nxt week.. haha..

*Note to self* - Treat CY nxt week if we go out in his ride..

I have to say this again..
What do you feel about Mee Pok Cabonara?? Weird?? Apa Link??
That's how Michael Owen moving to Man Utd has shocked the world.. Honestly, i think he will get it when he returns to Anfield ground and play against Liverpool.. The fans will boo this Anfield hero..
But i think he may just be the fitting puzzle in Man Utd.. A striker with lots to prove after bad spells at club, and most importantly, willing to be the 3rd choice behind Berba n Rooney..

Now, back to another long week in camp.. Sian!!
ORD LO!!

Suck it up for the last stretch..

Valencia to replace Ronaldo?? Not the ideal replacement i had in mind but, it will do..

And Benzema to Real too?? Seriously, real madrid is very sick.. I thought maybe Kaka and Ronaldo, they will stop there, but Benzema plus Raul Albiol?? Now Ribery issues a Real Madrid or no move.. I cant imagine an attack consisting with Ribery and Ronaldo on the flanks and Benzema supported by Kaka.. It's very sick..

My hopes of Benzema going Man Utd has shattered, not only that.. They say Michael Owen is gonna sign for Man Utd this friday!! WTF!!! To think i was disturbing my brother last week about Owen.. No one wants to sign him cos he is useless already.. Now Man Utd want to sign him??!!? Sure kanna bang by my bro already.. SIAN!!

Karma..

I've recently been posted to S1 branch to be a clerk cos of my down PES.. But becos S1 has too many people, i'm staying with my battery.. The funny thing is, i am not in attendence of my battery anymore, but i must follow their activites.. In short, i'm sitting on the fence.. Stuck in the middle..

And Karma has bite me hard.. I remember when my bunk mate got posted there too, i was making fun of him, saying he chao keng, go away la HQ boy n stuff.. Now when i'm posted there, i reap the bad karma i've sowed.. I feel like i'm an outcast now in the battery.. That feeling really sucks.. But i guess i just have to suck it up for 2 more months.. Just 2 more..