My mind aint that simple..

I'm not really a fan of taxi drivers who chat.. Some can be really irritating.. Call me old school, but i'm not that comfortable talking to strangers, even thou they can be super friendly..

But tonight, the taxi driver that drove my family back, taught me a lesson.. A simple truth.. Even a stranger can brighten up your day.. It's true.. But of cos if a hum sub old uncle gives wolf whistles to u as a compliment, it doesnt really brighten up your day, it actually destroys your day.. But i'm talking about genuine people you just meet on the streets for e.g.. U know, people whom you help and gives a very sincere appreciation for your help, the feeling you receive is totally awesome, and you feel good about yourself..

This cab uncle actually believed that i could be a first class honor student.. I have never even dream about being one, but yet he sincerely believes i can if i want to.. Before any stereotyping of cab uncles kicks in, this cab uncle is different from others.. He works as a cab driver just to pass time.. Cos he is old, but dun 1 2 be fully retired becos he is bored at home.. He is rich mind you, he stays at east coast estates.. He used to pay almost 50k a year, for 5 years, to sponser his son to go UK to study..

I know most people would go, aiya, he's a cheat la, bluff this kinda story u also believe.. But the way he speaks, isnt like the typical uncle singlish, but instead proper english.. The way he carry himself n presents himself, is also different..

Back to the story, hearing him saying all those things he said, that i can be a first class honors student if i want to cos i look studious, was really enuf to brighten my day.. He carries on by saying nxt time, if i become an accountant, i can earn soo much money .. He even joked that the way i talk to my parents in the future would be different once im rich.. Cos when im rich, my voice becomes louder, and my mum's voice become softer.. haha..

It really made me dream of having my own dream house n dream car.. I dun want a normal Toyota Corolla, or even a Chevy Optra.. I want luxurious cars.. I want a Mercs SLK AMG.. I want a Audi R8, I want a Porsche Cayenne.. And i dun mind staying a HDB flat, but the interior would blow people out of this world..

What the uncle said was intelligent and true also, education is the only way out of poverty.. That is why cert is soo much more impt now..

And it made me reflect before i enter in to SIM.. This is my last chance to make things right.. I remember doing up my portfolio before the interview i had yst.. I looked at my transcript, and i laughed.. A little out of humor, but mostly out of feeling pathetic for myself.. What i saw on that transcript was, 3 whole years wasted in my life.. I just felt so stupid.. Wasting my whole education on a girl who wouldnt sacrificed the same for me.. But of cos, that was just part of the reason, the other reason was just plain me.. So so stupid..

I wanna make things right.. I dun expect all As, but yet it wld be best if it were.. I am grounded, i dun wanna get my heads in the cloud cos i know my ability, I just lacked determination to do well.. I know i can do it, just need to be more motivated and determined.. That is why i may even consider not working during my 2 years of part time in SIM..

What the cab uncle said is true, and i will bear it in mind.. Some people started out at ITE.. Den continue to Poly, den Uni and got a Phd.. They may be late bloomers and took the long route, but their future would be so much more brighter than mine even if i did not take any long route.. I cld graduate at 25, and they, prob graduate at 30 even, but the following few years after that, their job pay could even be double of mine.. Just for the fact that they finish well instead of just making the grade..

Yes, alot of thoughts going thru my mind.. I'm no longer a kid who only thinks of dota everyday or wonders whether or not this sat's soccer, can i score a goal.. I mean i do think of dota almost everyday, and playing well for on sat is on the back of my mind, but behind those thoughts, are deeper thoughts into my future of who i wanna become.. If you wanna be a winner, you gotta start thinking like one.. Attitude determines altitude..

And lastly, i have been very slow with this confession, but God, you are the best.. If ever i doubted receiving any blessings cos i was in army, You have repaid me after my army.. After ORD straight away go to China for holidays, only applying for 1 job that Hj recommended for me cos his workplace needed people.. Came back, straight away offered a job by my aunt.. While waiting for interview for Hj's workplace job, Jx offered me a 3 day job as well.. And i din even go to any websites to find a job, or search any newspaper either.. God is good all the time..

And really really lastly, I shall share one last quote by the cab uncle.. Scholars.. You cant see scholars studying.. You only can see scholars playing basketball or soccer in the day.. But the only time they study, is during the time zone of 12am - 4am.. That is when all distractions are gone.. Phones wont be ringing, nothing on Tv, etc.. That is why, you can never see a scholar studying.. I find it, interesting, and there is some truth in that cos i dun believe all scholars are liddat.. Some are pure nerds.. LOL!!

Shag right, shag cannot think right...

Sometimes i feel people are so attached to themselves that they dun even see what image they are portraying to their peers.. I guess im just disappointed with some people i call friends.. Just frustrating sometimes.. Like what kind of friend are u, taking me for granted meh?? Dun 1 2 say anymore liao..

Humans excel in one thing.. All humans can do it very well, that is to adapt.. And my body has adapted to holiday mood.. Just going out for a day's activity could make me damn shag.. Yst, went down to SIM to register and den dwn to suntec for a job briefing.. Was out for prob 6-7 hrs, and i can feel shag already.. This morning went down for interview and medical.. When i came back around 2plus, surf the net awhile and napped.. The nap lasted 4 hrs.. zzz.. I was THAT shagged..

How sia.. 2 days of activities only, CMI liao.. Tml, starting my 3 day job at suntec, being an usher for 11 hrs.. Pretty sure it's gonna be a torture.. But that aint the worst thing.. The worst thing is ...... I shall not say also.. Personal stuff.. Already shared with some people thou.. Just know that, it sucks working alone, the feeling of not knowing any1, it's worst than being shag..

Loyalty..

It's weird that i have sleeping problems 2 days in a row.. Most of the time, i'm just nervous for the nxt day event.. Guess now, probably had to do with the double Mcspicy burger that i've been eating two days in a row as well.. The Mcspicy burger is back to the shitty dry chicken patty again.. Those cheap bastards.. Trying to fool us, well, i was a fool who was fooled by them to buy it.. Nvr gonna buy it again.. Trust me, it sucks.. And it is giving me stomach n sleep problems..

Just a thought in my head.. Humans are so easily influenced and change so easily.. For e.g, i've seen people who said they hate 2nd hand smoke, cannot stand when there is a smoker smoking nearby, yet become smokers themselves.. Or people who swear by their lives that friends are no.1 priority, even if got gf, friends MUST come first, yet cant be found when a girl/guy enters his/her life.. It's dumb isnt it, when you look from a neutral point of view.. Like you will think what the heck??!? It's like taking a gun and shoot yourself in the foot.. It's down right stupid!!

But den again, who can really condemned these people?? Who can say they arent ever guilty of changing ever so easily?? I change easily as well.. B4 army, i could control vulgarities coming out of my mouth, after going in, vulgarities come out every now and then, cos every one inside is saying it.. I change that easily too.. I am guilty..

The fact is, we are mostly influenced by the company we hang out with.. I feel the personality of a person is mostly inherited by their parents, and character build by parents as well when growing up.. But the habits we form, is by the friends we hang out with.. Habits that could even compromise your character or personality.. For e.g, an introverted person could be going clubs 3 times a week, just becos his friends are always going as well..

So i think that if you really want to know a person, it's thru his/her friends.. Cos i've seen people change according to how their friends behave.. One year you're with a gamer group of friends, you do gaming all the way, next year, you join a sports group of friends, you play sports all the way, and so on.. And it doesnt just stop there.. The way you speak, the lingo you have, the dress sense, the music you listen to, etc, are all following the group..

It's really true that you must choose your friends wisely, either that, have the willpower to stay on the right track.. And i guess, that's why friends come n go so easily.. When a person meets up wif new friends who are different from the ones he/she has, the moment he/she allows themselves to be influenced and decides to switch, bye bye.. Heck, even bf/gf are like that.. And i've personally experienced this, the moment they enter a new stage of life, and if they changed, bye bye.. So i ask, whats wrong with a bit of consistency in life??

That is why the world complains about a lack of faithful partners and what happened to the word loyalty?? Maybe that word is soon to be scraped from the dictionary.. Remember watching all those chinese gangster movies last time, "Zuo Ren Yao Jiang Yi Qi".. HA!! Personally, i'm not saying that you shldnt adapt to diff groups of friends but i guess you have to decide where your loyalty lies.. It's okay if you're more outspoken in one group, and quiet in the other.. But to me, this group of friends that i have, are the ones i owe my life to, w/o them, i would not be where i am today.. Just as blood is thicker than water, people whom i have a past with, will always be "thicker" than the friends i just made..

A thought off my mind, hope i can get my rest now..

Rollercoaster..

Manchester United this season, took my emotions and made it sit on a rollercoaster ride.. Have u watch the Manchester derby last weekend?? If you haven, even if you hate manchester united, i assure you, you would love that match.. Cos it was a match for the neutrals.. 4-3 the score.. Every1 loves a high scoring game.. Full of goals, full of action.. And there were 2 goals from 90-90+6mins.. So the end was very exciting..

But for a Manchester United fan, it was like a freaking rollercoaster.. 1 min u are up, slow n assured, the nxt, you go down so freaking fast, it feels like ur organs are pushing out of your body.. 3 times Man Utd took the lead against Man City, only for Man City to equalise, twice becos of stupid mistakes! And finally the winner came at the 96th min!! Honestly, i admit, when United conceded in 90th min, i tot it was over, i walked away from the living room believing it was all over.. City wasnt exactly Tampines Rovers, plus Shay Given had kept them in the match, saving from point blank thrice!! So obviously, i tot, no way United could equalise.. Nxt thing i know, sitting there at my computer table, GOAL!! And i rush to saw who the scorer was.. It was Owen.. It was unbelievable..

This isnt the first time, United made me feel like that.. Remember the match against Arsenal?? Van Persie scored what seemed to be the equaliser in like 90+ min, only for the linemen to rule out the goal as offside.. The feeling also, wa, like my heart just went from my brain to my toes..

That's why i almost nvr miss a United big game, cos it is great to watch..

China

Feeling the benefits of ORD status back in Singapore.. WOO.. Song bo.. ORD LOH!!

What is 2230?? What is 545?? What is fall in?? What is 5BX?? I buay hiao already..

China was great.. I guess everyone's diff in terms of expectations of holidays.. Some like to go to see scenery or take photos at landmarks, some like the shopping, some like the beach or some simply just like to slack around.. For me, i'm not the scenery kinda guy.. Maybe wif a different crowd, i would appreciate it more, like wif my gf.. It would be more romantic to see the beautiful scenery than keep eating all day long..

Like, u've seen the landmark for e.g, okay very nice, move along.. We dun need to stay there for 3 hrs to take photos.. Not my style..

I'm more of a food person, maybe a lil shopping person, but mostly food.. The good thing about my trip in china, was that my uncle actually lives there now.. So he knows some of the good places to eat and the good places to shop.. Which is good, so i dun need to go to the city and spend more money.. So it's like coming to Singapore, instead of going to orchard to go buy sports stuff, i go to Queensway to buy cheaper sports stuff.. That's the comparison..

It's really diff having some1 there to guide you instead of all those tour guides or popular places of interest in maps.. I feel, you get to know the country better.. Is like tour guides wont show you the dry ban mians of singapore, or the queensway or the changi village or geylang..

The seafood at zhu hai, power la, is almost the same as east coast park seafood place, but just that, behind the restaurant is a wet market selling fresh seafood, and u get to bargain n buy your own seafood for them to cook.. Really interesting to see.. I ate the crab porridge, which was power, the porridge was thick n sweet.. I ate claypot steamboat.. It's a steamboat, but the soup base is claypot chicken dark sauce and wif a chicken already chopped inside.. ,

Then there was the bbq restaurant.. The stuff on the menu are all bbq on sticks n delivered to you.. And there was the jap buffet.. Which i really aft that, cannot stand.. Really damn full..

There were many diff experiences also.. I went to two diff kind of bars.. And walked along the streets that are comparable to geylang.. haha.. Geylang cannot compare, i had genuine china girls calling me.. LOL..

Overall, china is a worth it place to go, not too sure if following tour guides wld be fun thou..

Reflections..

With all the reflection talks that i've heard during the function just now, i cant help but think of my own reflections.. Sadly, all i can think of during these 2 years in army, is the breakup i've had.

I remember OVL.. Where we looked out for Mas Selamat.. I remember being a recruit.. I remember being a trainee.. I remember POP twice.. I remember New Zealand.. Those are the good memories that will stay with me..

Yes,there is also the bad one.. Training can be tough, it can be mundane, but at least at the end of the day, i have my sleep.. Commanders can be fucked up, some like to pick on me, but at least at the end of the day, i can look to my bunk mates for a listening ear.. But a broken heart in army, i feel, is really the worst time to have.. In army, u already have nothing to look forward to, except the weekends.. And when all my army life, i've depended on this one person to bring me thru, and this person breaks my hope, i am left totally shattered..

I still remember b4 we got together, the leaders wanted to talk to us, to persuade us to re-evaluate, cos she was too young n i haven served army.. Most of the talk was aimed at me cos i haven served army.. There is this belief that army changes people drastically.. To them, maybe after serving army, i would change my mind about r/s and ditch her.. Well, all i can say is proved them wrong.. In de end, it was the other way round.. I feel army does change people, but definitely for the better cos discipline is instilled, and you really will appreciate your love ones more cos of the lack of time outside.. So i dunno why would they ever think that way, not like you can find another girl to cheat on when you inside camp?? DUH!!

Yes, army is not the best ideal place to be, but sometimes, when you are slacking in bunk the whole day, you appreciate that place becos you know when you go out to work, this kinda thing wont happen.. Do you think when you are working, you have so much time to be updated with the latest PSP or PC games?? Or catch the latest episodes of your fav Tv series?? I dont think so.. Army sucks, to the core, but i feel it is really a test and a preparation for us, in the future.. Your bosses would be like your commanders.. It may even be exactly like them..

Or you could even have supervisors who like to pick on you?? The situation could be the same, and you will think, "Damn, i cant say ORD to them after 2 years!".. So really, suck it up, just like how army has trained us.. Life isnt always fair, the good guys finish last and the bad guys get all the chicks..

So here's to life after ORD.. I dream i have a good job.. I hope i have a good job.. And a great pay.. No harm in dreaming righht.. We should all have dreams as well.. And i really hope there is a right partner out there for me.. Someone that the Lord has prepared.. That is for me.. But till then, i will wait, cos it's all about timing.. God's timing..

Last but not least, ORD LOH!!!

Pink IC

Today is a lame day.. Yst went back to camp, so tat i could take a indented bus to play my battalion's amazing race.. Yes, i am not sure why, but my unit has a tendency to make wonderful things really bad..

Like going on off/leave, will call u back to come back camp to do insignificant things.. in the first place, why bother letting us off?? An off that doesnt feel like an off.. Or like today, collecting a pink IC.. It's a feel good occasion, but they must have a stupid amazing race the whole day, and den collect your IC at night after a function.. Why cant we just submit the forms and just collect and go off?? They like to make the simple things complicated..

So carrying on, i went back to camp just to submit my camp pass, and cos there was a bus indented and i MUST sit it.. The starting point of the race?? CHANGI VILLAGE! Why, cos that is where we started, at Tekong.. I have a straight bus from my house to Changi Village, would prob take 45 mins tops, just to reach there, but NOOOO.. I must take a 2 hr ride down to my camp, sleep in for the night, and take a 1 hour journey on bus back to Changi Village.. All becos my OC say MUST sit the indented bus.. See, simple things made complicated..

Neh mind, den i found out my team mates, were garang!! WAH SIAN!! My mentality is, going to ORD, fuck the race, still must go what mandatory stations to collect stickers to show you have went that station, lame, ORD LOH!! What can they do if i dun 1 2 play, sign extra ah?? ORD LOH!! So in de end, me and some ord mates, who have the same mentality, took off, went home, instead of doing the race!! LOL

I went home, straight away sleep.. Slept for almost 4 hrs.. SONG SONG SONG!! It was raining sumore, BEST!! Still can wake up, play one dota match finish.. haha.. Now, going down to the ORD function.. At Joo Koon, SIAN!! Is at Singapore Discovery Centre.. The journey back... But nvm, with a pink IC.. WOO!!

Tml morning, straight away flying off to china for a week of holidays.. Hope to get alot of sports equipment plus clothes.. WOO!! And enjoy the best dirt cheap food in the world.. LOL..

O...OO...OOOORD LOH!

My life aint hollywood

Life doesnt have a happily every after.. No i dun believe in fairy tales anymore.. Sometimes when we put too much faith in something or someone, hoping to get ur returns back, that thing or person fails and you are left with nothing..

Sometimes i feel i did all i could, anything more than what i did, would make me look a desperado, but i still stick to my guns.. Anything but a desperado..

The hollywood people know how to make thier movies, anything with a happy ending, it is a movie.. Add some big names in it, and it becomes a top seller, all so that we could get a feel good feeling.. Something that we wished had happened in our lives..

And fuck you LIM ZHANG QUAN.. Thanks for making my pre ORD experience a bad one.. U will reap 100 fold what you did to me.. 100 more sai kangs for you to do when you ORD!! U will regret!! One day doing ur sai kang, u will think back, is it becos i made Jerry's life bad?? U will REGRET!! Cos i have God with me.. U HONG GAN!!

Chua Sai

Life is hard, the future looks uncertain, but that is no reason to CHUA SAI!!

CHUA SAI!!

Cannot stand

Clubbing is just not my thing.. I am never gonna club again.. EVER!! Really cannot stand.. Prob the first 2 hrs was still okay.. But aft that, it was just plain torture for me.. I really cant stay on the dance floor forever like all the rest do.. Aft awhile it got so boring, den the music started to irrtate me, and next thing, major headache..

From like 1am all the way till 4am, i was just waiting for Amos n Matt to go home.. While they dancing, i just one corner wait.. I even had to leave the club at one point to get a peace of mind.. Seriously, CANNOT STAND!!

Luckily, i still got up for soccer the nxt morning, thou some may have doubted my ability to handle shag, i managed to prove them wrong n even put in a decent performance and even a goal plus an assist!! Take that!

Maybe some feel relaxed, opened up while clubbing.. They find that they can destressed there, but for me, the bottom line is this, clubbing is my place of stress, not my place of destress.. Put me in a street soccer court n i will open up for u and "dance" with the ball for u..

Anything but club, ANYTHING!!

To Vanessa:

It's vanessa's bday tml.. So this post shall be dedicated to her..

I have never regretted knowing van as a friend.. Honestly, she opened my eyes n made me see that not all pretty girls are bimbotic in their speech n thoughts.. I feel most pretty girls are either too stuck up, or just plain boring to speak to, cos they got nothing to offer except their looks.. All they have are the latest gossip or their act cute speech.. But wif van, it's just diff.. I dun get bored talking to her n she never once was unapproachable to talk to..

In fact, unlike those pretty face, van sometimes think that she ain't good/pretty enuf.. Hello?? CHC 2nd runner up for beauty pageant or was it 1st runner up?? haha.. She is someone, who wakes up in the morning, and wont get a shock of their life when they look themselves in the mirror, cos even in the most chui state, also still pretty.. No exaggeration here..

Carrying on, van wld lend u a ear when u r down and never fails to give advise to help u.. She is sensitive n understanding.. If ever she told me, i'm right behind you, i know for sure she wont be that far behind.. She is dependable..

That is why she is blessed with many friends.. A single statement on facebook cld draw 10, 20 plus comments.. Cos every1 wants to be in her company.. A really good friend..

Happy Bday!

Clear cupboard

Again, it's been awhile since a i updated.. Really lazy these few days.. And it's starting to take a toll on me.. I'm talking abt my weight if you aint sure.. Haven really been exercising.. Damn unfit even for sat soccer sessions now.. Sian..

I shall continue from my previous post first.. Man Utd was damn lucky to have won that encounter.. Honestly, the result should have been a draw..

Let's analyse the goals, or should have been goals.. Arshavin's penalty claim.. Was it a penalty?? After looking at it so many times, Man Utd were lucky to have this ref in charge.. I believe other refs would give it.. Honestly, Fletcher took more of the player than the ball.. The ball merely touched him abit after he slide Arshavin.. If we switched roles, i would definitely be shouting for penalty as well.. So yea, it shld have been a penalty, but the ref gave Fletcher the benefit of a doubt..

Arshavin's screamer into the back of the net.. That was just pure bad goalkeeping.. It came from a long way out.. Sure, it was powerful.. But you gotta react better than that and have a strong hand to palm it away.. Cheap goal to let in..

Rooney's penalty.. Definitely, 100% penalty.. Some may argue Rooney was going no where with the ball, but the fact is this, Almunia did take him down, he went for the ball, n missed it.. You cant fault the penalty, you can only fault Almunia, what the heck was he thinking.. I looked at it, and i knew, Rooney was looking for the penalty.. You could see his touch of the ball was so heavy, he meant to push away from Almunia so that he would miss the ball, and Almunia fell for it.. Dumb shit.. LOL!

Diaby's own goal.. 2 words, JIA LAT! Really wondered what was going thru his head when that happened.. Damn embarrassing really..

Lastly, Van Persie's last minute offside goal.. Plain swuay.. I am not too sure Man Utd played an offside trap for Gallas, or maybe he was just too impatient.. It made me chua sai and depressed for a moment, when i saw the offside flag, wa, damn relieved.. But i can imagine how an Arsenal fan had his faced changed.. He was probably celebrating the goal too.. Sliding across his living room to celebrate the goal, with his Arsenal jersey over his head.. Clenched fist, and shouting goal!! Nxt moment, he looked back at the tv, saw the offside flag, LAN LAN face.. LOL.. That was damn evil.. LOL

But overall, it was a nice match to watch.. Very frustrating at times, but the ending was great..

Cleared my cupboard yst.. ORD LO!! Din realise it cld actually fill up my duffel bag.. LOL!! Maybe i should have brought back my stuff abit by abit so on the last day not so heavy.. Abit regret.. Dragging the bag, was damn shiong!! Sweat like dog when i reached the gate.. haha.. But nvm, ORD pride.. LOL!!

Lazy to update my army life anymore.. Just know that it really sucks big time.. Really.. I have more fucked up stories that happened.. But forget it.. ORD LO!!

Now i'm really worried abt my future.. I really having 2nd thoughts abt going RMIT.. Shld i just do ACCA?? I hope God answers me soon..