Just to save the trouble of people asking, the trip was boring.. Becos i was literally in the camp for like 15 or 16 days.. And had only 1 day to go out and play.. So i cant give like a full evaluation of whether NZ was fun or not..
Yst was valentine's day.. FUCK valentine's day.. This year's valentine's day is like a reminder of what i used to have before.. You would think after so long, it would be so easy to forget.. Cos we cant just chuck these things one side, we got to face it to overcome it.. No point chucking it one side unresolved, it may just come back to haunt you..
There's no logic or even desire for me to keep wanting to stay like this.. It's not an excuse just becos i have a NSF life.. Cos i am surrounded by friends who accepts me.. So no excuses..
Maybe YOU dunno your actions and words still influence me somehow..
So now pastor is preaching about relationships every week.. Prob sitting through each svc would be an electric chair torture experience.. How do i stop those memories from coming back?? God is like having some showdown with me.. All the power *chuk ka liao*.. No chance for me to fight back..
From another view, prob God is making me face me demons in my vulnerable state, and He is telling me to lean on him.. Or maybe, He is just telling me to learn how to love a woman..
I'm not gonna end off with some cliche "love sucks" or "love is cruel", cos it actually isnt.. Breakups sucks, breakups are cruel, not love..
You're just a sad song, with nothing to say
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