Does anyone have a mid life crisis at 22 yrs old?? I think i do..
Suddenly i feel that i dont know what i want in my life anymore.. There's no clear direction of where to go or what to do.. I guess it was there all along but army has helped it to fade in the shadows.. Now i'm nearing ORD.. Reality will hit me sooner that i can say "argh!"..
I gotta find somebody or something to die for.. Okay, i'm exaggerating of course.. I always say i need someone to be there for me, etc, but fuck that, cos i really dunno what i want anymore.. If it comes, it comes, it's up to me to grab it, if it doesnt, suck thumb..
I realised that to live life, is to live in the present.. I wanna live life now.. I dont wanna worry about the future anymore.. Cos i wanna believe that my future is in God's hands.. I wanna be happy now.. I wanna appreciate the people that i have around me, and not wish that i had a certain someone there for me..
If i ever slump back to the pity party, i hope someone shakes me up real well to wake up my idea.. I never wanna be there again, i am gonna be optimistic..
ORD.. ORD.. ORD, ORD, ORD.....
On another issue..
I got to admit, when i received your msg last week, something stirred up my heart.. And when i looked back, i realised i was a fool.. I always let my emotions take over me, always.. I guess i always judge the faults of others too quickly, but rarely take a step back to look at my ownself..
I dunno how to approach you to make amends or clear the air.. I really dont.. Maybe it's a fear of rejection or maybe it's just me.. Maybe when my mind is clearer, i would know what to do..
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