Defying myself..

It's been a bad week, emotionally for me.. It came to a point where i just snapped, so much built up inside of me, i just let it all out when i was talking to Amos.. I just kept ranting and ranting, when normally i would just try and accept it.. I cldnt take it anymore.. I am a human.. Dun treat me like i owe you something please..

And please go try out the facebook application where they deliver a random message from "God".. I dunno why, but i found it freakishly accurate on my first attempt.. It was really creepy.. Like "is my whole life being watched?" kind of creepy..

It said, On this day, God wants you to know, that nothing is exciting if you know what the outcome is going to be. You keep wanting to know how things will play out, keep asking to see the future. God doesn't give anyone the power to know the future, because life becomes maddeningly boring when you know everything upfront. So, instead of struggling, enjoy the uncertainty - to be alive means to not know.

Those that know me well, will know that i am a logical thinking person.. And whenever i make a decision, i try to predict how each decision gonna plan out before making it. So doesnt this sound like a piece of advise someone who really knows me well would give me?? I dun even remember my own close friends ever telling me this!

And after reading that, some events start to unfold and i wonder, is that a sign?? Cos it seems all so familiar.. I find myself in exactly the same situation as last time.. Same thing but different people.. I seriously hate this!! So am i suppose to just go with the flow?? In an ideal world, like the movies, it would probably be the sweetest thing i could ever do, and the ending would be a happy one, but that would be in the movies.. So the chances are really slim of that happening..

See! Same thing happening again, i wanna know the ending again! Let it be?? Enjoy the uncertainty?? It could really end up in either extreme ends.. I could be singing Avril Lavigne's So much for my happy ending or I could be singing Jason Mraz's Lucky .. I hate this shit.. really..