Cleared my mini accessory box, a box that you gave, picked up a locket, a gift that you also gift. It din need a picture to remind me of you. You popped in my thoughts again. You are just a memory now, a dream that i had, woken up n now it's gone. There you will be, always be.
A small part of me wonders how much of me is left inside you, cos i can see many after me, cant help feeling it's a distant memory of me left. "Jerry? Oh! Him!" probably? I looked back at my life now n i know i lived my life for u. I looked back n cant remember a single girl in Poly i've known n still talk to now, All for u. I looked back from the time i dated u, n i dun remember a single girl i've known tat i still talk to now, all for u. Honestly, i tot you wld be me first n last, din want nobody else. HA! The price paid, it was all worth it till the day it ended.
Funny how i would think turning back is the way forward. Not a fan of radical change. Breaking free of certain bondages in life is never easy. It is not easy! Fear plays a big part. I have some ideas in mind, but really, just dun have the balls to do it. What if this n what if that? What will they think? How would i react?
I'm not tat strong as i seem. Stubborn, yes, but not strong. Stubborn with good life principles, strong. Insisting i'm right when i'm wrong, weak. So, no, thou i hold dear to my believes, sometimes i know i'm just insisting i'm right.
My friends are there for me, i know it, but i just never turn to them. There are times when they disappoint, i aint happy, but we aint perfect, but i tell u again, i aint happy when they disappoint. So, i think i have it all figured out, but really, i just solved a small part of me. Life's just a puzzle aint it? Once u solved the mystery, you're happy n not frustrated. The big picture involved everyone, but i turned away, afraid to solve.
Slacking is all i did, time to wake up, time to respond, time to meet the target. Pull up my socks, as high as i can, walk tall, take a deep breath n do it like i've never done before. Go on kid, you can do it!
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