I was just looking through my chatter box den i saw what amos posted about what he would have done if he were in my shoes when being scolded by the boss..
So i decided to tink of retarded ways to answer my boss..
Retarded Qn 1.
Do u have a cheque book?
Answers to give
1. Is IOUs counted?
2. Whats dat?
3. Oh ya.. I got a Checked book..
4. Let me check with my bank..
5. I call my mum first..
6. *goes down on knees* "oh Lord, help me with this difficult question. Give me strength to go through this difficulty"
7. Izzit one of da best sellers? written by who?
8. Is dere even an answer to this question?
9. Is this a trick question?
10. *stands very still*.. after 1 min... *looks around and dig my nose*
Retarded Qn 2
Do you have a cheque book? No? DEN WHAT DO U USED TO PAY?
Answers to give
1. Oh simple, i do barter trade..
2. I trade pokemon cards
3. I use conterfeit bills
4. Hell money (those notes that buddhist and taoist burn during 7th month)
5. With coins
6. I steal..
7. I sell my body..
8. God pays for me..
9. Nothing.. normally i make people pay..
10. Whats the question again?
Retarded Question 3
Do you have a credit card?
Answers to give
1. *takes 5mins to go through the whole wallet to find*.. eh nope..
2. What colour you want? Gold? I got pokemon's pikachu card, gold edition.. 1 for $200.. U want?
3. Is that the card u used to tap when u go into the mrt?
4. *immediately break down into tears and keep shouting "why! why! did u have to ask!"*
5. Talk about the weather.. "its quite hazy today ah"
6. Speak loudly in tongues..
7. Sing loudly in tongues..
8. Sing the song "O Lord My God" where it says "more precious than silver, more costly than gold, no riches on the earth compares with you"... keep repeating till she gets ur point..
9. Tell her that if u told her da truth, you would have to kill her..
10. Keep saying "maybe" followed by "maybe not".. Keep doing it till she feels like jumping down the office..
Retarded qn 4
What is wrong with this cheque?
Answers to give
1. Dun give it to me.. Send it to the doc.. I dun want to catch it's disease..
2. Quickly take out a microscope and search every inch of the cheque to see if anythings wrong..
3. Call up your teacher in school and ask him the same question even though he/she cant see the cheque, keep persisting them to give u an answer immediately..
4. Lick the cheque and tell her it taste normal..
5. Begin to cast demons out of da cheque..
6. Pray for healing on the cheque..
7. Call 999 and post the question to them
8. Begin to start preaching about the bible and how you should not judge other people including a cheque, ask her to repent and apologise to the cheque..
9. Tell her that the cheque just need sum love
10. Tell her u will send it for an x-ray..
Retarded quote 1
"why you so stupid!"
Recommended Replies
1. Shout really loudly " it takes one to know one!"
2. Tell her God made every1 according to his own image and tell her she will burn in hell for calling God stupid..
3. I will ask my mum why also..
4. Show off to her that you can recite Peter pipper pick a pack of pickled peepers in 5 secs.. And after that, give her a very smug face, as if you just been crown the world's smartest person
5.Thank her for the compliment and that you've finally acheived that after 19years of life..
6. Tell her you just came out of the mental hospital and start playing tag with her.. "tag! U're it"
7. Start laughing hysterically for 10mins and den pause and ask again " You're kidding rite?.. I mean you were kidding rite"
8. Start talkin to her about biology and how your X chromosomes and Y chromosomes made u this way..
9. Start to repeat every single word she says.. "why you so stupid!", "why you so stupid", "what did you say!", "what did you say!" Keep repeating till she scolds herself stupid hoping you would scold urself stupid, den dun repeat, walk out of her office and saying smugly " i told you you were stupid!"
10. Tell her you only have your left side of your brain left due to an accident when you were young..
Retarded Quote 2
How am i suppose to give you work liddat!
Recommended answers..
1. Ask her back da same question " How are u suppose to give me work liddat!"
2. Advise her to pray to God and find an answer
3. Say "by faith" and give a 1 hr long preaching about faith..
4. Tell her she looks pretty and laugh out really loud immediately..
5. Turn to her with a shocking face and with eyes bulging out as if you saw a ghost
6. Speak to her in indian or french.. (if u dunno den just pretend you are speaking that language)
7. Tell her to "be a man and do the right thing!"
8. Take out a drawing block and ask her to stay in da position while drawing her potrait.. Tell her she looks like Paris Hilton when she is angry
9. Fart out really loudly and den say its wasnt you..
10. Go down on ur knees and propose to her with a ring form out of ur office's staple bullet and quote from titanic " you jump, i jump"..
LOL.. Damm hilarious.. I cant believe i tink of so many retarded answers..
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