Face down in the dirt..

Coming back home at around 1 plus,thinking of whether to blog or even do anything at all.. I even considered not going service even thou i'm up for duty today.. A wave of "sian-ess" just swept me away.. But here i am right.. Blogging now, means i'm actually doing something instead of drowning in that feeling..

Sucks that i actually know what i should do but din do it and then think back, "alamak!! WHY!!!"... I knew there was a chance i could be playing field soccer tml.. Told myself to take my shoe bag back today, and i totally forgot! Fuck! That's the expression that sums it all..

Past week have been on course to operate an ammo carrier vehicle for the Primus Gun.. It's not the first in the world, but it is the first in Singapore.. And i'm the pioneer batch to actually hands on the whole vehicle and using it at a real live firing exercise in New Zealand.. How cool is that.. When i think back during my trade course, handling the most sophisticated, prob also the most expensive weapon in SAF, that was cool.. But this is cool-er.. yea.. haha

Lessons are boring n long, spend most of the time waiting for my turn to hands on.. But the exciting thing this week was picking up table tennis.. I'm no pro, but at least learn a few basic stuff from my friends.. And table tennis is fun, especially when you are shaping up to smash.. The feeling of a successful smash is damn song.. haha.. First was learning badminton, and now table tennis.. Not bad, a few more sports to play now..

Have you ever wanted something soo much and badly that you would do just anything to have it??

You place it in to God's hands and say "i want it Lord, but up to You" but praying really hard that it would still happen and wishing God's will was the same as what you want??

And then when the outcome doesnt go your way, you ask God why and say nevermind, cos it's Your will not mine, but really, you wonder why and hope that you could do something about it to get it by your own means??

I did..

But I really thank God when i asked him to make me a driver for the primus, he did not answer that prayer.. Initially, ammo carrier is carry ammo one by one and load up the tunnel.. But now, being a Class V operator is much better, plus cooler.. Cos you use a mechanical device to carry the ammo, so no more hard labour!!

Driver's job really much more siong now.. At New Zealand, where the land is soo big, you've got to drive for hours before even reaching your firing point.. Imagine driving 50km/h all the way straight from Pasir Ris to Tuas, sian not?? Now imagine that, amplifed 100x, that's what a driver do.. You just keep driving, all you see is grass, everywhere grass, nice scenary, but it will all fade, and you get tired of it.. The commanders already warn that drivers have a tendancy to sleep while on the wheel cos the driving hours are long.. Siong rite.. Whereas now, i sit in a Bronco Vehicle, which is more cooler, wif better seats, and just relac only while delivering ammo to the Primus.. So i'm happy wif my vocation now..

Sometimes you think you know what is best for you, but really, God knows best..