Let it be, let it be, let it be...

It's been 2 weeks and 2 days since i last blog..

Let's just say this post is a one time thingy and i will only blog regularly after getting over it..

After reading Monday's newspapers, life section, Rui En's interview, i found the words to the feeling i've been waiting to express..

The background is this, she has a troubled childhood due to parents divorce and not getting enough attention from them, she became a smoker and social drinker and was becoming someone she wasn't in her showbiz career..

And after realising what she is becoming, she decided to change to who she really was, no smoking or drinking, no intimate scenes anymore for her shows that made directors backlist her and she says she may not get married if she cant find the right guy cos she dont wanna end up like her parents and also she likes being alone.. All these, just for the sake of being herself, being comfortable in her own skin..

I dont have to follow the crowd n go clubbing just to be accepted.. I dont have to drink alcohol to fit in.. Guys, i'm not saying you all, cos you all have been very understanding n never insist also, thanks for that.. But, this is just a statement.. I dont have to be someone else to fit in..

I dont have to quickly find another partner to get over her.. I dont have to put up with some people just to hang out with friends.. I just have to be myself..

There are probably 100 things that i want to say to her, some nice things, some not so, but it's just pointless.. The reason why i struggle n you've moved on is cos first cuts are the deepest.. For me, you were my first, to you, i have become just another.. Say what you want but getting another guy in 4 months isnt exactly convincing to say i wasnt like the rest.. This is not revenge or what not, this is what i have been wanting to say, that i dont believe that i wasnt just another guy.. I dont blame you either, i just dont believe.. As simple as that..

If only daniel powter was rite, "you had a bad day, you're taking one down, you sing a sad song just to turn it around", i would have sing all the sad songs in my playlist to feel better, but first cut is the deepest.. I din need to hear that i was a special guy, but your actions spoke so loud to me, that i simply couldnt ignore, cos the fact is, i dont have you.. And I swear, yes, i swear, i will never treat relationships lightly.. I swear i will cherish when i find the right girl..

I will learn to let go, it's not anyone's fault, people have their own life, they can make whatever decision they want, no one is accountable to me, no one needs to explain, a person will forever be right in their own eyes, so do I, but i do my part and be a better person, make the decisions that are fair and just so that i will not live to regret them..

Learn to let go and let it be..

The right song came up while typing this, Let it Be by the Beatles..

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.